Tag: Hypnotherapy
BE USELESS: SEVEN TOOLS FOR FAILURE
A couple of weeks ago, I finished reading Arnold Schwarzenegger’s new book Be Useful: 7 Tools For Life.
What I’m about to write is by no means a parody of that work. In fact, I thought the book was good and Arnold Schwarzenegger has consistently been one of my greatest inspirations. (You can read my appraisal of his unique mindset by clicking here).
However, after reading his book, I had an idea.
What if, instead of giving positive life advice, I was to create a list of 7 things you should do if you want to fail?
Why would anyone want to fail, you may ask?
Of course, nobody does. However, if by reading the following list, you become aware of what will cause you to fail then it’ll be an important addition to the powerful advice in Arnold’s book.
So, without further ado, here are the 7 tools for failure.
1. Doubt Yourself
When you’ve got your sights set on failure, nothing helps you achieve this objective quite like being unsure of yourself and what you’re doing.
I used to doubt myself all the time.
Initially, I didn’t think I could make it as a writer. All I heard were stories of it being virtually impossible to become a published author or make money from selling books.
As a result, I thought you had to be born with exceptional talent to succeed and doubted my skills, experience and ideas would be good enough.
The outcome of this self-doubt?
I wasted 5 years of my life procrastinating over a book idea I was passionate about but too scared to pursue.
The self-doubt virus also spread to my work as a hypnotherapist.
I qualified at the age of 24 and started seeing clients at 25.
As a new hypnotherapist, I doubted my ability, believing I was too young for older clients to take seriously.
The outcome of this doubt?
I created a self-fulfilling prophecy. In a job where confidence is everything, my lack of it was abundantly clear and few clients came back for a second session (unlike today).
Self-doubt completely stunted my professional and personal development and it’ll do the same to you.
Far better to back yourself in every situation, even to the point of being slightly delusional, than sabotage yourself with timidity.
2. Overthink Everything
When aiming to fail, it’s always best to paralyse yourself with endless thoughts about what you should do.
When I began my career as a writer, back in 2012, sales were slow.
It took well over a year to sell the first 100 copies of my book which, at the time, was called Screw The System.
Looking to give my flagging sales a boost, I bought a course on how to sell books on Amazon. In this course, the creator stressed the importance of a book’s title. Along with the cover, these were the two most important factors when it came to book sales.
So, I got it into my head that Screw The System wasn’t a good title for a self-help book. However, rather than immediately changing the title, I spent two years thinking over the options and wondering whether I should take this step (eventually changing the title to Escape The System in 2015).
Can you see the problem here?
I wasted an inordinate amount of time deliberating over the change. I would frequently engage in mental debates where I went backwards and forwards over the pros and cons of each option. However, rather than provide clarity, this just left me more confused.
This experience reveals one of the most perverse laws regarding the way in which our minds operate.
The more you think about something, the more confused you’ll become.
Let that sink in for a moment.
Clarity is gained through having an idea, briefly considering it and then putting it to the test.
The world will then tell you whether you were wrong or right (and if you were wrong, you can always correct your mistake).
Think fast, act fast.
3. Stay In Your Comfort Zone
If you want to fail, you should allow fear to stop you from doing anything that feels uncomfortable.
I once had a hypnotherapy client who allowed anxiety to dominate her life.
I tried to explain that testing the limits of her comfort zone would enable her to adapt to new experiences and cause the anxiety to subside once she became accustomed to the change.
She wasn’t having any of it.
She believed in the importance of her fears and listened to them all the time. As a result, as time went on, there was less and less she could do (as virtually everything became out of her comfort zone).
It got to the point where she struggled to go on holiday, couldn’t contact organisations that might offer help (for fear of rejection) and even struggled to read her favourite books (in case she lost the enjoyment of reading which was one of her few dwindling pleasures in life).
Don’t stay in your comfort zone if you want to succeed.
Instead, understand that by frequently facing your fears, you enlarge your comfort zone until there are few environments in which you can’t operate.
4. Think Like Everyone Else
Technically, this isn’t a tool for failure (more a tool for mediocrity). Think like everyone else and you can still enjoy a secure and comfortable life. However, if you aspire to live an extraordinary, or authentic, life, then being mediocre might classify as a failure.
Michael Jackson once said, “We can fly, you know. We just don’t know how to think the right thoughts and levitate off the ground.”
Crazy, right?
Maybe.
However, it’s exactly this type of thinking that led him to create the greatest selling album of all time.
Michael Jackson didn’t think like other people. He lived in a realm where anything was possible. When other musicians and industry insiders told him to expect Thriller to do roughly the same as his previous album, Off The Wall, he ignored their input.
His horizons were broader and this enabled him to conceive of an album (and everything that went with it – music videos, performances etc) that EVERYBODY would have to own.
This is what can happen when you have “unrealistic” expectations. You give your subconscious the permission to find answers and solutions that nobody else will look for, and it responds.
So, keep thinking like everyone else if you want a relatively easy, relatively dull, life. Don’t you dare think big or have any grandiose dreams.
5. Give Free Reign To Your Impulses
If you want to fail on achieving your goals, give in to your impulsive feelings.
Lacking the motivation to work on your new business when you get home from your regular job? Then just binge watch a Netflix series for a couple of hours.
Experiencing chocolate cravings a few hours before your evening meal? Give in to them and have a snack.
A client annoys you over what could be a misunderstanding? Express your anger and lose their business.
Controlling your impulses won’t come naturally. They’ll scream to be acknowledged and acted upon. However, this is what weak people do.
In most cases, you must resist the almost overwhelming urge to do as your body tells you. In time, you’ll master your base desires and achieve a tremendous sense of peace.
In As A Man Thinketh, James Allen wrote, “You will become as small as your controlling desire; as great as your dominant aspiration.”
Don’t give in to your impulses.
6. Attempt To Control Every Outcome
If you want to fail again and again, then try to force through whatever it is you want to achieve.
You don’t win in life by being a dosser. Success or love or wealth isn’t going to fall into your lap. You’ll have to work for it and you’ll have to exert effort.
That being said, attempting to force your body, your boyfriend or girlfriend, your clients or the market to do what you desire, can be as futile as doing nothing at all.
You’ve got to get the balance right.
The person who micro manages every scenario and fusses over the tinniest details isn’t displaying confidence in their ability to succeed. In fact, it’s the opposite. Underneath their controlling behaviour is a deep-seated fear they’ll fail.
The people who can let go of their need to control are those ones who believe in themselves and their chances for success. They KNOW that they’re good enough and, as a result, don’t need to worry about individual dominoes falling into place.
7. Blame External Factors For Your Situation
If you want to remain stuck in life, blame everybody, and everything, for your misfortunes.
External factors are always going to exist and yes, they do, sometimes, prevent you from achieving your aim. However, if you take a deep enough look at yourself and your actions, over the span of decades, you’ll be able to identify a moment where you caused the failure or misfortune you’re currently experiencing.
In Game 5 of the 1997 NBA finals, Michael Jordan was struck down with flu-like symptoms. Completely drained, he looked lost during the first quarter.
At this point, he had every reason to sit out the rest of the game.
However, despite feeling like shit, he battled on to score 38 points, 7 rebounds and 5 assists, helping his team win.
How did he play on when most people would have blamed external factors and accepted defeat?
Being able say, “Well, I could have won it/done it if it wasn’t for X,” didn’t give him any solace.
HE HAD TO WIN.
Reach this level of determination and there’s no external factor that can stop you.
GET YOUR FREE COURSE
If you want to discover a passion you can make a living from and overcome the fears that are holding you back, check out my free course 30 Days to Escape The System. Click here to get the course right now! (You’ll find the tips on developing belief and self-confidence fascinating!)
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THE ONLY 3 THINGS YOU NEED TO DO TO ACHIEVE AN “IMPOSSIBLE” DREAM
Let me tell you a quick story.
Back in 2002, I had a dream of becoming a published author.
I wanted to write a self-help book. I’ve always been fascinated by the idea of personal transformation and thought it would be amazing if I could inspire other people to change their lives.
At the time, though, I was a clueless university graduate who’d just returned home to his parents’ house. I didn’t have any experience writing books, I didn’t know anyone in the industry and when I checked the Writer’s and Artist’s Yearbook, it said that almost all publishing companies didn’t accept unsolicited submissions.
Not a great start.
Compounding my doubt, and crushing my motivation even further, were the comments I received from the people I talked to.
- My parents told me I should look at mainstream careers as it was highly unlikely I’d ever get a publishing deal.
- A friend, who’d just started working for a major publishing company, told me about the massive number of submissions they received and the almost equally massive number of rejections these garnered.
- A published self-help author, who I’d been introduced to, outright told me there was no money to be made selling books and that it was impossible to support yourself through writing alone.
As you can imagine, all of these comments had a negative impact on my mindset.
I started to believe that my dream was impossible.
As a result, for the next 5 years, I did nothing (or, at least nothing related to working on my dream). However, in 2007, after the breakup of a newly formed relationships, I decided I needed something to bring me back to life.
So, I began writing my self-help book.
The Long Road To Success
At first, progress was slow.
It took me four and half years and four re-writes to finally have a manuscript worthy of public consumption.
After contacting an agent, and being rejected – thereby having my negative beliefs about getting a publishing deal confirmed – I decided I wouldn’t waste any more time following the traditional route.
Instead, I’d use the relatively new technology of Kindle Direct Publishing (KDP) and upload my book onto Amazon.
It took a year and 3 months to sell the first 100 copies.
It took a further 5 years to reach my first one thousandth copy sold.
My progress was slow and, baring some great feedback from readers, there wasn’t much in my publishing experience to indicate that the naysayers were wrong.
However, in 2017, I attended a YesGroup (a personal development group inspired by the teachings of Tony Robbins) meeting in London. At this meeting, an author called Brett Moran took to the stage and gave a great speech.
Afterwards, I bought his book, chatted to him and then went home.
After reading the book, I noticed he had a UK publisher and emailed him to ask if he wouldn’t mind sharing his contact.
Graciously, he agreed and I got in touch with someone at Watkins Media.
My first offering to them was Escape The System. It got rejected (although with seemingly genuine praise which made me think it would be worth contacting them again once I’d written another book).
That I did, the following year and, to my total surprise, they liked my book and offered me a publishing deal.
Fast forward to 2020 and my book, Do The Work You Love, was published. A dream, which everyone had told me was impossible to achieve, came true.
What I Learned From My Experience
Getting my book published taught me a powerful yet surprising lesson.
Achieving your dreams is easier than you think.
In fact, I believe you have a 66% chance of being successful (watch this video to discover how I came to this conclusion).
There are only 3 things that you need to do (irrespective of what your dream might be).
They are . . .
1. Take Action
You may have thought that the competition for whatever you want to do is vast. So vast, in fact, that it’s not even worth trying.
Let me tell you a little secret.
SO DOES EVERYONE ELSE!
What does that mean?
That 90% of your competition isn’t even going to take the first step to realising their dream. They’re going to believe the statements seen in the picture below, keep working their regular jobs and spend their evenings sitting on the sofa watching their favourite Netflix series.
All you have to do to put yourself ahead of 90% of the competition is take action.
- Set up your website.
- Go on that training course.
- Write the first 10,000 words of your book.
- Find a mentor.
- Create your first product.
Don’t underestimate how powerful these actions are.
Take a look at the picture below.
These are the sales rankings for my book The Rebel Code on Amazon US. It’s actually a bad sales day. Usually, I’d be floating around the 100,000 ranking and then much higher in the categories related to my genre.
However, even on a bad day, you can see that I’m inside the top 1000 motivational authors in the world.
How did I get there?
There’s nothing particularly special about me and I have no outstanding talents (otherwise I wouldn’t have to work SO damn hard for my success).
I simply took action. Again and again and again.
And while this step won’t win you the race, it will put you in the race (and that’s a lot further than most people ever get).
2. Learn From Your Failures
While achieving your dream is easier than you think, it’s not easy.
You’re going to fail (many times). That’s guaranteed.
Failure is tough and it affects us on many levels.
First, it’s embarrassing. No one wants to be seen falling short of the mark, especially if they’ve told the people around them what they plan to do.
Failure is also depressing. Forget the public embarrassment, the private defeat can be even worse. You worked so hard, dotted every i and crossed every t and yet, it still wasn’t good enough. This can weigh heavily on your soul, causing you to consider giving up.
Finally, and perhaps worst of all, our failures can appear to be proof that our dreams are impossible to achieve. What could be clearer? You tried and it didn’t work out. The naysayers were right.
This is the way most people understand failure. However, you can’t be like most people.
Instead, you have to view failure as an opportunity to learn.
Every time you fail, ask yourself these questions.
- Why did I fail?
- What can I do differently to achieve success?
Take the lessons on board and then bounce back stronger.
What does this mean?
As mentioned, your failures can take an emotional toll. It’s understandable you feel depressed in the aftermath of a crushing defeat.
However, you must become an expert in allowing this feeling to fade away as quickly as possible and then bringing even more energy to your work the next time you try.
- Be more dynamic
- Be more inspired
- Be more positive
This, combined with the knowledge gained from your prior defeat, will enable you to breakthrough and reach the next level.
3. Find A Way To Support Yourself While Working On Your Dream
Let me present you with a couple of likely scenarios for why you, or anyone else, might give up on their dream.
- You save up a sum of money to support yourself for a year. You then quit your job and give yourself 12 months to succeed at your dream. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work out. So, a year later, scared that you’re going to run out of money, you get a similar job to the one you had before. You give up on your dream, telling yourself that you gave it a good shot but that it was impossible to achieve.
- You spend 5 years trying to achieve your dream. A little bit of progress is made but you don’t get anywhere near being able to support yourself through this project alone. So, rationalising that any sane person would stop after such a lengthy period of time, you give up.
Both of these scenarios are reasonable, right?
Perhaps.
However, they’re unnecessary.
YOU DON’T NEED TO GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAM SO LONG AS YOU CAN KEEP FUNDING YOURSELF.
Plus, by continuing, you give yourself almost unlimited opportunities to succeed.
There are many ways to fund your dream.
- I use tennis coaching and hypnotherapy as a platform to support my writing ambitions. These occupations are reasonably well-paid and allow me the flexibility to set my own schedule.
- Arnold Schwarzenegger used appearance fees as a bodybuilder, running a construction company and real estate investments to support himself while aiming to become a Hollywood actor (it took him 7 long years but, because he could provide for himself, there was no need to give up).
- You might use freelancing, consultancy work, side hustling or working part-time/less hours in your current job.
Whatever the case, you must keep 10 to 25 hours a week free to work on your dream. Do this, and you can go on and on in your quest.
Then, with enough time, action taken and lessons learned from your defeats, you WILL succeed.
GET YOUR FREE COURSE
If you want to discover a passion you can make a living from and overcome the fears that are holding you back, check out my free course 30 Days to Escape The System. Click here to get the course right now! (You’ll find the tips on developing belief and self-confidence fascinating!)
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Photo by Martin Wyall on Unsplash
What 20 Years As A Tennis Coach Taught Me About Making A Living From My Passion
20 years ago (September 2003), I began working as a tennis coach.
At the time, it represented a major step forward in my life.
Prior to that, I’d never enjoyed a single moment of the jobs I’d worked. I spent my entire time working in a sports retail store, as a bartender, at a call centre and working in data entry, clock watching and praying for the end of the day.
This was the first job, I thought, where I was actually going to enjoy the work and get to make a living doing something I was interested in.
What happened next is 20 years of lessons learned, surprises and personal growth.
Making a living from one of my passions was not, in any way, shape or form, what I expected it to be.
I now share this story in the hope that I can help you on your journey.
Here are the five lessons I’ve learned from 20 years as a tennis coach.
1. Your Passion Might Need Tweaking
Before starting work as a tennis coach, I had the romantic notion that all I needed to do was gain my coaching qualification, find the clients, and everything would be great.
I expected each lesson to be fun and inspiring. This was one of my passions after all, and I’d read that when you align yourself with something you love, special things happen.
The reality of coaching (at the time, I mainly taught groups of 6 to 12 children in one class), though, was very different.
It wasn’t fun. Often, the children behaved badly and the lesson was more about maintaining order than teaching the students anything of value.
Worse still, I discovered that the ethos of the coach I was working with (he initially hired me to work with his coaching company) wasn’t congruent with mine.
For him, tennis coaching was a business and although he did his best to ensure the lessons were run well, the concept of developing outstanding tennis players was secondary to making money.
A month into what I thought was going to be a dream job, I started to have doubts.
For a moment, I thought about quitting. I had all these expectations about what making a living from my passion would be like and none of them were being met.
Fortunately, though, I decided to stick it out.
Despite the difficulties I had in maintaining discipline, and the coaching ethos not being what I imagined it would be, I had one thing going in my favour.
While on court, I was in charge. I had the autonomy to make the work what I wanted it to be.
This took a long time. I had to learn about disciplining children and improve my coaching skills. However, with the passing of the years, I was able to fight for less children in my class and ensure that we were working towards a motivating goal (playing in team competitions and coaching the most talented kids to work their way up the junior rankings).
Eventually, I made the work more rewarding and enjoyable. However, the process taught me an important lesson.
No matter how passionate you may think you are about a certain job, or role, you never know what it’s going to be like. The idea and the reality are often very different. However, this doesn’t mean you’re without scope to mould your passion into what you want it to be.
Henry David Thoreau once said, “Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” This also applies to making a living from your passion.
2. Experience Trumps Qualifications
I’ve never done any further qualifications than my initial, entry level course to become a tennis coach.
Why?
Because I’ve never needed to.
- The first 7 years of my tennis coaching career were spent working for coach who had his own coaching company.
- The next 5 were spent working at a sports centre after I broke away from this coach and set up my own business at one of his venues (more on this to come).
- In 2016, I moved to a new tennis club and have been performing the head coach role there ever since.
This progression is slightly unusual for a tennis coach with only the standard level of qualification (there are two higher levels which many coaches in my position will take). However, my reasoning for never gaining these qualifications is that they will take up A LOT of my time and money while failing to turn me into a better coach.
I’m not a big fan of qualifications. By and large, I view them as box ticking exercises.
I know a few people with MBAs and Masters Degrees who spent a lot of time and money gaining these qualifications but never really furthered their careers after attaining them.
What’s the point?
You can learn whatever you need to learn when on the job, by taking smaller, one day or weekend courses and staying up to date with the latest trends and techniques in your industry with online content or a mastermind group of fellow professionals.
Years of desire to learn and improve is what turned me into a good tennis coach, not the letters after my name.
Occasionally, you don’t even need qualifications!
You might remember Lionel Logue, the Australian speech therapist whose true story came to prominence through the Oscar winning film, The King’s Speech. After many professionals with numerous qualifications had attempted to cure King George VI of his stutter and failed, Logue was recruited in the hope his unconventional methods might work.
Amazingly, they did. The King found his voice and was transformed in his ability to perform his royal duties. However, Logue was self-taught and didn’t have a qualification to his name (apart from the most important one – his experience).
3. You Must Embrace Uncertainty
Making a living from your passion is not the same as earning money through a conventional career. Often, there’s no guarantee that you’ll make any money at all.
This level of uncertainty is incredibly testing. Tony Robbins lists “certainty” as one of our 6 essential human needs. To live anxiety free, most people need to know when the next paycheque is coming and what their schedule will look like the next week.
Making a living from your passion doesn’t always afford you that luxury.
This was especially true with tennis coaching.
I’ve had to deal with bad weather forcing me to cancel lessons (I live in England), client turnover when the children inevitably change schools or go to university and the unnerving initial challenge of building a big enough client base to support me.
Initially, this lack of certainty messed with my head. I couldn’t tell whether I’d still be a tennis coach 8 months after I’d started. However, as I got used living without guarantees, something amazing happened.
I started developing the unconscious belief that I’d always be provided for.
Even if there was bad weather, and I’d miss a week’s worth of work, I believed I’d make it up when the sun came out. Even when I branched out on my own, taking the risk to set up my own coaching business after 7 years of working for someone else, I believed everything would work out.
And, amazingly, it did.
By embracing uncertainty and believing I’d always be provided for, it felt like I got into the flow of abundance.
Perhaps it had something to do with living in a more resourceful state.
Because I wasn’t worried about where the next client was coming from, I got on with my job, taught my lessons with enthusiasm, and this enabled me to keep the clients I had and attract new ones either through recommendations or people being impressed with my work.
Or, perhaps there’s a lot of demand for tennis coaching in my area and anyone doing a half way decent job can get enough clients.
Whatever the case, as someone looking to make a living from their passion, I’d advise you to embrace uncertainty.
4. Sometimes You Have To Be Ruthless And Make Tough Decisions To Grow
After 7 years of working with another tennis coach, I decided it was time I branched out.
For a couple of years, I’d been applying for head coach positions at other tennis clubs but hadn’t been successful. So, I hatched a plan to operate independently at one of the venues I’d been working at for the last 7 years.
Of course, this plan wasn’t without risk because it brought me into conflict with the tennis coach who I’d been working with since I qualified.
Despite him never working at these tennis courts (3 of them attached to an LA Fitness gym) and me having done the heavy lifting of running and growing a thriving holiday tennis course programme there, he still very much considered it HIS venue.
Fortunately, though, the managers of the LA Fitness didn’t. They were pissed off with him never paying his rent on time and owing them over £600 in fees. As a result, they were more than happy to strike a new deal with me, allowing me to operate independently at the venue.
To say my former boss was mad about this move was an understatement.
I thought if we met face to face, a fight would have ensued.
I received a couple of abusive phone calls, laced with expletives and I was also threatened with legal action (although on what grounds I’m not sure as I wasn’t breaking any law).
It was an unpleasant experience. However, it had to be done.
On the one hand, I was destroying any friendship I had with the tennis coach who gave me my first job (and that didn’t feel good).
On the other hand, this was a huge opportunity for my advancement (more money, greater freedom and autonomy).
Although part of me liked this man, it was undeniable that he was arrogant, egotistical, a habitual late payer and regularly made a point of letting the coaches who worked for him know who was boss.
In some ways, he got what he deserved.
In some ways, it was a ruthless move on my behalf.
Wherever you lie on assessing whether my decision was ethical, what’s undeniable was that it was difficult.
I expect you’ll be faced with decisions of a similar magnitude on your journey to making a living from your passion.
When you are, understand that it’s ok to be a little ruthless. I don’t regret my decision.
It had to be done so I could continue to grow. That’s the most important point. So long as you’re not REALLY harming another person (my takeover only cost my former boss 10% to 15% of a substantial income), it’s ok to put yourself first.
5. Don’t Let Something You Like Stop You From Doing Something You Love
You probably know me as a writer (perhaps you didn’t even know I worked as a tennis coach and hypnotherapist – and still do).
Writing is my main passion. My life goal is to sell a million copies of the books I write.
However, my journey to making a living from the work that inspires me didn’t begin with writing.
Back in 2003, fresh out of university, I had a plan. I would use jobs that I liked (tennis coaching and hypnotherapy) to support myself while I created a career that I loved (writing and being a speaker).
I created this plan because I believe, and still do, that working just to make money equates to a dull and soulless life. Your work has to be meaningful and enjoyable otherwise you’re wasting your talents and potential (no matter how much money you make).
Ironically, this logic also applies to lesser passions getting in the way of your ultimate goal. For many years, I’ve been guilty of not pushing hard enough with my writing because I’ve had my tennis coaching to fall back on.
Because, for the most part, I enjoy the work, there’s a lack of urgency to succeed as a writer.
You must be aware of this if you’re following a similar approach.
Don’t get too comfortable. Keep your eyes on the prize and know when it’s time to risk something you like for something you love.
GET YOUR FREE COURSE
If you want to discover a passion you can make a living from and overcome the fears that are holding you back, check out my free course 30 Days to Escape The System. Click here to get the course right now! (You’ll find the tips on developing belief and self-confidence fascinating!)
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10 Rules for Mastering your Mind (and getting whatever you want from life)
Your mind is your most powerful tool for personal transformation.
Not your diet, not adopting “good” sleeping practices, not some wonder drug and not changing your habits.
Don’t get me wrong, all of the above are important but, when it comes to making a shift that will render you, and your life, unrecognisable to someone who knew you 10 years ago, it’s your mind that’ll have the biggest impact.
This is because, by mastering your mind (with the 10 rules I’m about to give you), you’ll be altering the cause of your environment, circumstances and present bodily conditions, not just dealing with the symptoms.
The following 10 rules have been created from my 20-year journey into exploring, and understanding, the workings of the mind.
This journey began, and was inspired by, some seminal works on the subject (the following are recommended reading if you want to explore further – The Power of your Subconscious Mind, As a Man Thinketh, Think and Grow Rich, The Power of Now, Psycho-Cybernetics, Excuse Me, Your Life is Waiting, Becoming Supernatural), over 15 years of working with clients as a hypnotherapist and, most importantly, my own experiments into using this power to change my life.
Rule 1: Focus on what you want
Starting today, think only about the outcomes you want to achieve.
Are you preparing for an important speech, pitch or presentation?
See your audience being wowed. Imagine your words flowing and the information you’re sharing having the desired impact. Think about people coming up to you at the end, or emailing you, and telling you how good your presentation was and how much inf0rmation they gained.
If ever you think about forgetting your lines, how much pressure you’re under or what you stand to lose if the pitch isn’t successful, then banish these thoughts. Instead, focus firmly on one of the positive outcomes above.
Apply this rule to anything you want to achieve.
Rule 2: Create a daily, mind focusing routine
Every day, take time out of your hectic schedule to focus on either achieving the outcomes you desire or living the life you want.
How much time?
Five minutes is sufficient (but you can spend longer if you want).
At present, all I do is repeat seven goals, 3 times over, upon waking up in the morning and going to bed at night.
Here are three of these goals;
- 10,000 copies sold (referring to my book sales)
- 1 Tesla car (that I want to own)
- 80 kilograms in weight (my ideal weight)
This particular approach may, or may not, work for you. It doesn’t matter. There are many different ways you can focus your mind.
You could;
- Relax, close your eyes and spend 5- or 10-minutes visualising what you want to achieve or the life you want live
- Write out, and repeat, a statement (only needs to be a paragraph or two) describing your ideal life and the experience of living it
- Create a DCA (Definite Chief Aim, see Napoleon Hill’s book, Think and Grow Rich) and repeat it three times every morning, noon and night
Choose whatever method works best for you (or create your own).
Rule 3: Channel your thoughts when your mind isn’t actively engaged
Alongside your daily mind focusing routine, use the moments when your mind isn’t actively engaged to focus on the outcomes you want to achieve or the life you want to live.
Obviously, this doesn’t apply when working, engaged in a conversation, playing a sport or taking part in a hobby. On these occasions, and many more, your mind should be focused on the task, or person, at hand.
However, at all other times (see list below), you can return your thoughts to the contemplation of the outcomes you want to achieve and the life you want to live;
- Washing the dishes
- Cleaning your house
- Driving your car
- Taking a shower
- Walking to work
- In between points while you’re playing tennis
- In between sets at the gym
Rule 4: Keep your instructions simple
Whether you’re completing your daily mind focusing routine, or channelling your thoughts when your mind isn’t actively engaged, keep it simple.
Whenever you focus your thoughts, you’re giving an instruction to your subconscious mind. This part of your mind responds best when fed with clear, concise directions.
For example, if you want to recover from any kind of ailment, or disease, then you would repeat, over and over again (until you receive the outcome you desire) instructions and affirmations like,
- Perfect health
- I am healing
- My body works perfectly
- Health
Alter your instructions depending on the objective you want to achieve.
Rule 5: Make your thoughts visual
To make a greater impression on your subconscious mind, create a visual accompaniment to the thought you’re thinking.
For example, with the mind focusing routine mentioned in Rule 2, I link each outcome to a visual image.
- For 10,000 book sales, I think about writing the number ten thousand down in a diary where I keep track of my sales
- For owning a Tesla car, I imagine myself getting into a black Model 3 and noticing the distinctive interior
- For getting down to 80 kilograms, I see myself with visible abs
All of these images are meaningful to me. Find the ones that trigger a similar reaction in you.
Rule 6: Make your thoughts resonate
There must be an emotional connection with the thoughts you’re thinking and the images you’re visualising. Without this vital ingredient, your thoughts are powerless and will lack the ability to influence your subconscious mind.
It’s estimated that we think around 6,000 thoughts a day. Very few of these have any impact on the direction of our lives. However, if you can inject a thought with a powerful positive emotion then it can bring you the outcome you desire (BEWARE: This works just as well for powerful negative emotions).
In his book, Becoming Supernatural, author Dr Joe Dispenza tells his readers to, “continuously fall in love” with their vision for the future. This is how powerful your emotions need to be.
Rule 7: Learn to live in the now
For peak performance, and to prevent anxiety from holding you back, learn to live in the now.
If ever you find yourself distracted by mindless mental chatter, or worrying about the possibility of something going wrong, ask yourself this question, “Where am I now?”
And then answer it.
Notice everything around you and describe it, either out loud or in your head.
This simple practise forces you out of your head and into the world. As a result, you’ll be able to give all of your attention to whatever it is you’re doing and perform at your best. Furthermore, your fears won’t escalate and prevent you from taking the action necessary to move your life forwards.
Rule 8: Ignore your negative voice
Over the course of an average day, your critical voice is going to throw all kinds of negative statements at you in response to what you’re doing.
It’ll tell you that;
- You’re not good enough
- You’re ugly
- You’re going to fail
- You should give up
- You’re too old to do something
- You’re too young to do something
- Other people won’t like you or what you have to offer
ALL OF THESE STATEMENTS ARE A LIE.
In his book, The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle explains that there are two competing forces in our minds.
The first is the “I,” which is our essence, represented by our personality, emotions and dreams.
The second is the “self,” which is artificial, represented by our internal dialogue.
Tolle teaches us to separate these two entities. Understand that your “self” isn’t who you are. It’s just a very annoying voice, attempting to sabotage the good you intend to create.
Therefore, you must NEVER listen to this voice. Instead, ignore it and, eventually, it’ll weaken and go away.
Rule 9: Don’t overload your mind with multiple information streams
We live in an age where it’s possible to avoid any type of silence or deeper thought.
We have podcasts, the radio or Spotify to listen to. We have Netflix, YouTube or the cinema to watch. And, if we ever need to be distracted, we have social media or the internet, to browse through.
It’s now possible to continuously jump from one information stream to another without ever having to engage in the practise of disciplining your mind or focusing your thoughts.
This isn’t healthy. While there’s nothing wrong with doing any of the above, you must set aside time every day (in addition to your daily, mind focusing routine) to be alone with your thoughts and direct them towards your higher purpose.
Rule 10: Feed your mind with inspiration
You don’t have to do all the heavy lifting.
For the occasions when you’re struggle to motivate yourself, use inspiring songs, movies and books to provide the boost you need.
- Create a motivational music playlist
- Watch the movies that connect you with your life purpose
- Read the books that make you believe anything is possible
Do whatever you can (excluding becoming dependent on drugs) to get yourself in an inspired, high-energy state.
What’s the payoff?
Follow all 10 of these rules and something incredible will happen.
Your subconscious mind will respond by providing you with the ideas, chance encounters and peak states that will enable the realisation of your dreams.
The power to change your life is within you. Your mind can either set you free, or cage you through the forces of fear, confusion and self-doubt.
Faithfully follow the rules above, and give yourself enough time to master them, and there’s no force in the universe that can prevent you from getting to where you want to go.
GET YOUR FREE COURSE
If you want to discover a passion you can make a living from and overcome the fears that are holding you back, check out my free course 30 Days to Escape The System. Click here to get the course right now! (You’ll find the tips on developing belief and self-confidence fascinating!)
Why I Went Back to Working a 9 to 5 after 20 Years of Being Self-Employed
Recently, I went back to working a 9 to 5.
After 20 years of setting my own hours while working as a tennis coach, hypnotherapist and writer, I decided I needed more structure and certainty in my life.
I was fed up with not knowing when the next lesson, client or book sale was coming. It bothered me that I could end up working at 11 o’clock at night or on Sunday’s.
So, I took the plunge and made a decision to . . . . . .
block out an entire week and work 9 to 5 on finishing my fourth book, The Rebel Code.
The experiment
Ok, so I wasn’t entirely truthful with the title of this blog post. I haven’t gone and got myself a regular job or revisited my days of working in a sports retail store.
I’m still self-employed and working as a writer. However, the way in which I work changed and I learned a lot from the experience.
For an entire week (Monday to Sunday), I worked from 9am until 5.30pm. I took small, 5-minute mini breaks throughout the day, had 30 minutes at lunch and, other than that, worked consistently for 7 hours.
I now want to share my experiences with you, hoping you might benefit from my unique perspective.
Remember, the last time I worked this way was 20 years ago. As a result, I approached my 9 to 5 with fresh eyes.
Whereas there might be something you’ve overlooked, become blinded to or taken for granted, I was made acutely aware of the impact of working this way during my one-week experiment.
Furthermore, there’s just as much to learn if you’re self-employed.
It would be arrogant to assume working a 9 to 5 is an inferior and less desirable way to work just because, on the surface, it appears to offer less freedom and flexibility. There could be hidden benefits you’ve overlooked.
So, without further ado, here are the discoveries I made from one week of working a 9 to 5.
The Good
The first good thing about working a 9 to 5 is that it forces you to get to bed early the night before. I was working from home, so I didn’t have to worry about getting up early for a commute. However, I made sure I was getting ready for bed by 11pm and was asleep before midnight.
Prior to working a 9 to 5, it wasn’t unusual for me to be working (or, more often, wasting time watching YouTube videos) at around midnight and not falling asleep until 1am. Afterall, if my first tennis lesson, or hypnotherapy appointment, wasn’t until 11am the next day, I had no reason to be up early.
This isn’t an efficient way to work. Typically, the time between 11pm and 12am was wasted and, because I was going to bed so late, I wouldn’t start work on my writing until 10am.
I was losing an hour of productivity per day. However, when I started working a 9 to 5, that all changed.
Any delay to my bedtime would mean a delay to my 9am start and a subsequent delay to my 5.30pm finish. Because I faced this time pressure, I became much more efficient with my day. Instead of waking up, taking my time making breakfast, relaxing for a bit, checking my phone and scrolling through social media, I would eat my food and get straight down to work.
Likewise, when evening came, there was no prolonged period of time relaxing on the sofa and checking my phone. I allowed myself an hour for my favourite tv series or a movie and that was it (I kept my phone in the other room to eliminate distractions).
Ironically, although I worked longer than usual (50 hours a week), in some respects, I felt I had more time at my disposal because I wasn’t wasting any of it.
Another benefit to working a 9 to 5 is that it helped me prioritise my most important work.
While working a 9 to 5, my writing came first. Before, I might schedule a game of tennis in the middle of the day and lose two and a half hours (including travel) of productive time. Now, if I wanted to play tennis, or go to the gym, or do anything else, it had to be done after 5.30pm.
This meant that writing got my undivided attention and nothing interrupted this focus.
The results were noticeable.
Although I could have written more, I completed 11,000 words over the course of the week. Compare this to my usual output of around 2000 words per week (although I have the added distractions of teaching tennis lessons and seeing hypnotherapy clients), and you can see the difference this makes.
The Bad
Mid-way through the afternoon on the Monday, my head started to ache. I’d never spent more than 6 hours writing in a day and, when I did work for longer periods of time, there were always lengthy breaks in between.
Spending close to 7 hours straight staring at a computer screen isn’t healthy.
By the afternoon, I noticed my thought process slowing down. I wasn’t as sharp. The words that I did write (my writing speed also declined) didn’t always make sense and I lost all ability to assess the quality of my work. As a result, although I’d spent 7 hours writing, only 4 to 5 hours represented work of true quality.
Perhaps there’s still value in completing those additional 2 to 3 hours. Afterall, I was getting work done, albeit slowly, and every word written got me one step closer to completing the book. However, I couldn’t help but notice I was a far more inspired writer when following my old way of working.
This led me to the conclusion that working for 7 hours straight (regardless of the work you do), isn’t the best way to be creative and productive.
I’m a more efficient writer when I work for a couple of hours, have a substantial break and then work for another two. This way I’m refreshed and actually looking forward to the writing process.
While working a 9 to 5, I was getting to 3pm and then counting down the remaining two and a half hours until the end of the day. I needed some variety to ignite the creative flow and do my best work.
The Ugly
As already mentioned, I didn’t have to make a commute. From bedroom to writing desk (which you can see in the photo below), takes me 10 seconds. For this reason, I had an additional one to two hours a day at my disposal.
Some people aren’t so fortunate. For them, a 9 to 5 is more like an 8 to 6 (or much worse).
I think if I’d been working such a schedule, it would have soon become intolerable.
Part of what made my experiment enjoyable was that I had the entire evening free. It was great knowing I could shut down my laptop at 5.30pm and then lose myself for at least 5 hours with whatever I wanted to do. However, had I been returning home at 6.30pm, and knowing I needed to be getting ready for bed at 10pm, the novelty of having a free evening would have very quickly worn off.
What does 3 hours a night really give you the time to do?
You might be able to get to the gym, prepare and eat your evening meal and then relax for a little, but that’s it. There’s no time for anything else (especially so if you have children to look after) and this is depressing.
Not just that, though, it’s incredibly unhealthy.
Most office jobs are sedentary. If you don’t walk to work, it’s unlikely you’d be reaching even 1000 steps in a day (let alone the recommended 10,000). This represents a total lack of exercise in your life which, long-term, can be disastrous for your health (Peter Attia, a Canadian Doctor who specialises in longevity, revealed on The Joe Rogan Experience that having very high cardiovascular fitness gives you a 5 fold reduction in all-cause mortality compared with someone of below average fitness).
You NEED to make time for exercise.
This is a non-negotiable. However, if you only get 3 free hours per night, it can be very difficult to do this consistently.
What if you want to meet your boyfriend or girlfriend, go to an event, have something important to take care of or, like many people, need to work overtime? It won’t be possible to do these things and exercise. A sacrifice must be made and, for most people, its often their health.
Final thought
For your health alone, working a 9 to 5, consistently, for years and decades of your life, is not a feasible way to live.
It’s physically, emotionally and spiritually damaging.
One fundamental ingredient to living a good life is to feel alive.
This is hard to achieve when, every day, you have to be at the same place, at the same time, often doing the same thing.
Although my experiment taught me it’s great to prioritise the work that’s most important to you, and eliminate distractions, this can’t be done at the expense of enjoying your life.
No amount of money would convince me to forgo the variety in my life and work 50 to 80 hours a week at just one thing (even if I loved that thing).
Money is not worth feeling miserable and unhealthy for. Instead, consider taking what’s best about a 9 to 5 schedule (the focus and prioritisation it provides), and adapt it to a working life where you negotiate flexible working hours with your boss or are completely in charge of your time.
Personally, I’ll be doing more 9 to 5 weeks in the future. However, I’ll NEVER work a 9 to 5!!
GET YOUR FREE COURSE
If you want to discover a passion you can make a living from and overcome the fears that are holding you back, check out my free course 30 Days to Escape The System. Click here to get the course right now! (You’ll find the tips on developing belief and self-confidence fascinating!)
(image taken courtesy of Steve Koukoulas photostream on flickr.com)
How Much Money have I Made in 10 Years as a Writer?
I’ve now been in the writing business for 10 years!!!
On the 8th February 2012, I pressed enter on my laptop, launching my first book, Screw The System. Since that moment, I’ve worked tirelessly to establish myself as an author.
First, Screw The System was updated and then re-released as Escape The System in 2015.
Then, in 2018, I finished my second book.
Originally slated as, How to Create an Income Without Working a Boring Job, the title was changed to Do The Work you Love when I got a publishing deal with Watkins Media. This deal delayed the publication and it wasn’t until February 202o that my second book was finally released.
My third book, The Personal Freedom Manifesto, quickly followed, being released in March of 2021.
Releasing three or four books in ten years is not a lot. However, this says nothing of the countless hours I spent attempting to build an audience through methods like blogging, guest blogging, starting a YouTube channel and making videos, creating a meet up group and hosting numerous events, speaking at personal development events throughout London, promoting my work on social media, forming partnerships with other authors and learning about marketing.
In total, I’ve given approximately 8500 hours, of the last 10 years of my life, to becoming a successful author. Since 2015, I’ve kept to a schedule of working 20 hours a week, or 1000 hours a year, on my writing business.
Before that, my hours were far more sporadic. 5 hours one week, 15 the next and none the week after – a typically working schedule from 2012 to 2014 (I was supporting myself through tennis coaching and hypnotherapy at the time) – was never going to cut it.
THE STATS
How successful have I been with my 10 years as a writer?
What does 10 years of extremely hard work as a writer amount to when it comes to money made and books sold?
This;
Total number of books sold: 5201
(Escape The System = 3400
Do The Work you Love = 1000
The Personal Freedom Manifesto = 800)
Total number of subscribers to this/my website: 3000
Total number of subscribers to my YouTube channel: 1100
Total number of members of my ‘Success Club’ meet up group: 1015
And, now, for the big one. How much money does this equate to?
Many multiples of my book sales is the best answer I can give.
I haven’t got the exact figure. All I know is you could multiply my book sales by about 4 or 5 to get an accurate number.
Of course, these earnings are not exclusively from book sales (that would be a lot lower). Instead, while including that figure, it also includes money I receive from private coaching clients, freelance writing projects and the scraps I make from running my own personal development events.
What do you think of that?
It might sound ok-ish, not bad if this was a hobby. However, digest the next two points and see if you still think the same.
First, the rough figure I provided above is turnover. My profit is far lower.
How much lower?
I dread to think and, to be honest, I don’t have an accurate figure to hand. If I spent hours rummaging through my back taxes I could produce one, but, suffice to say, I’m probably in the black.
Second, this figure is for an entire 10 years. It’s not one year’s worth of earnings (which might be ok).
It’s ten years of blood, sweat and tears.
It’s ten years of frustration as I attempted to become a digital publisher, trying to succeed in a world where my two biggest weaknesses – technology and marketing – are exposed on a daily basis.
It’s ten years of having my expectations dashed with every book, blog post and video I release.
It’s ten years of watching other authors succeed, whose work is no better than mine, and scratching my head trying to figure out what they know that I don’t.
And, after ten years, what do I have to show for it?
In financial terms, close to nothing.
THE GREAT THINGS ABOUT BEING A WRITER
Fortunately, though, life isn’t measured in financial terms (at least not entirely). As tough as the previous ten years have been, there are parts of it I’ve absolutely loved.
Nothing compares to hearing from a reader who loves your work. Combined across all books, and Amazon marketplaces, I’ve had over 150 five-star reviews. Each one of these is relished as I pinch myself and realise the dream I had back in 2002 (of being able to create something with my thoughts and words that would positively impact another person’s life), has come true.
Expression, in of itself, is also a huge reward. For the decade prior to becoming a writer, I lived my life never communicating what I truly felt. I stuck to my nice guy, tennis coach persona which, although not fake, only expressed part of my authentic self.
To be able to sit down and articulate my contempt for modern society (in a public forum – not just my head) is such a relief and release.
Finally, there are the connections I’ve made. Through my writing, I’ve made friends, formed a tribe and realised I’m not alone.
Before 2012, I thought I was the only person who looked at the world the way I did (modern jobs are little better than economic servitude, our societal tendency to accept mediocre lives is insane and the system is set up to enable the elites to maintain their wealth and power while the common man, and woman, gets shafted). However, through my writing, I discovered other people who share these points of view.
This gives me hope and a sense of connection I previously lacked.
While these are important, life enhancing, factors, any sane individual has to, at some point, sit down and ask themselves whether all the effort is worth the reward.
Was it?
THE HILL I DIE ON
As crazy as it sounds, I’m tempted to say, ‘yes.’
Sure, I can zoom out, gain a more objective understanding of these last 10 years and listen to anyone who might say, ‘you’re wasting your life.’
That line of thinking seems credible. I could have certainly made a lot more money if I’d chosen to do something else.
However, try as I might to rationalise my situation in this way (and I have many times), it never feels right.
In times of doubt, I always go back the same thought process.
I know who I am.
I know that bashing my head against a brick wall and trying to fit this round peg into a square hole isn’t going to work.
Therefore, I have to make my own way and I can’t rely on society to do it for me.
If I’m going to do that then I have to follow my inspiration because it’s the only form of positive guidance I’ve got.
There are a few dreams/ideas/causes that generate this feeling but writing is the one I chose, the one I’ve developed skills and contacts in, and the one on which I’m furthest down the road to success.
All of this means that becoming a best-selling author is the hill I’m ready to die on.
Do you know what this means?
Perhaps you’ve heard the phrase.
At some point, an army must make a stand. They must find their hill and defend it till the end because wavering or running (finding another dream to pursue) will only weaken them and waste even more time.
That army is either going to succeed or be totally obliterated. However, because they’ve made the commitment and gone ‘all in’ on securing the victory, they give themselves the best possible chance of coming out the other side.
That’s where I’m at with my writing.
On balance, it’s probably taken more than it’s given but succeeding as an author runs so much deeper than financial return or status.
MY ‘WHY’
When I 20 years old, I felt completely lost. There isn’t space here to elaborate on why but, suffice to say, I spent 3 years feeling totally disillusioned with my life.
Then, in February of 2002, I read a book that blasted through my self-doubt and gave me the hope I could turn my life around.
This was an amazing gift. It felt like magic was contained within the pages, with each one bringing me back to life.
I want to do that for someone else. I want to transmute magic through words and ideas and touch the deepest part of a person’s soul.
Added to that, I also feel my writing is a small attempt to do what’s right in the world.
I grew up in the 80s. Star Wars made a huge impression on my psyche.
The Rebels had to beat the Evil Empire.
Our evil empire is a system, one that’s obsessed with money, image and appearances and thinks the material is the only way to value and judge life.
I disagree. I think substance, freedom and following your inspiration is more important. I want to use my writing to promote these ideas and, by doing so, challenge the hegemony of the evil empire.
It can’t win.
So, when you combine both my passion for the medium of books and my belief in taking a stand for what’s right, perhaps you understand how I justify the continuation of my writing journey.
It hasn’t been easy. In fact, it’s been heart-breaking at times. But, when something is important enough, you’ll bounce back from every defeat and keep going until the end.
Remember that as you pursue your own crazy dream. At some point you must find your hill and make a stand.
GET YOUR FREE COURSE
If you want to discover a passion you can make a living from and overcome the fears that are holding you back, check out my free course 30 Days to Escape The System. Click here to get the course right now! (You will find the unconventional approach to developing belief and self-confidence fascinating!)
Are you Crazy For Following Your Dreams? (from my diary)
I’ve been keeping a journal since September 2002. I don’t write in it every day and its pages lack the titillation and gossip associated with some diaries. However, over the years, it’s been a vital companion as I’ve transformed myself from lonely, directionless, psychosomatic illness suffering young man to confident, driven and dream achieving adult.
My journal is handwritten and spread across multiple notebooks. I’m not a huge fan of technology and, since I started in 2002, before the proliferation of laptops or terms like ‘digital nomad’ ever existed, it just seemed like the easiest thing to do.
As a result, a few years ago, I found myself with a mountain of notebooks – about 18 in total – and a slight concern about what would happen if they were damaged or lost. To pre-empt this problem, I decided to transcribe every one of them into Word.
Following My Dream
Recently, I reached Thursday 25th October 2007. Why is this date significant?
4 months prior, I’d started work on what would become my first book, Escape The System. One month prior, I’d met Tom Butler-Bowdon, a best-selling author, for his opinion on the manuscript.
Fortunately, he gave it his seal of approval and offered to mentor me through the writing process. However, it was still early days and I had many doubts about the validity of what I intended to do.
My main concern was my sanity. Was I crazy for pursuing a dream to become a best-selling author? Furthermore, what right did I have to think I could write something that good or become that influential?
After all, I was a nobody. I hadn’t been blessed with exceptional writing talent and I had no audience or following to speak of.
Instead, it wasn’t too much of a stretch to say I was delusional. With my degree in Politics, and having two parents who were lawyers, my focus should have been on forging a professional career. Instead, at the age of 27, I had the audacity to believe I could dispense life advice and write a self-help book.
At this point, it’s probably best I hand you over to my younger self. Read the following entry and I’ll then address some of the questions and fears that every dream chaser will face.
Thursday 25th October 2007
I’m feeling a little frustrated with my life at the moment. The inability to move my life forwards is raising some doubts in my mind. I’m starting to wonder if I’m on the right path or whether, in fact, I’m crazy.
Usually, I’d respond to these thoughts by thinking that I should ditch everything I’m doing – coaching, hypnotherapy, book – and live a conventional life. However, now, I can feel my attitude changing.
I realise that this is a battle within me and running away to a conventional life won’t change a thing. I’ve got to overcome these demons inside me and I’ll be faced with these wherever I go.
I’ve come a long way with my book but am I being unrealistic? My goal for the book is for it to become a bestseller and make me a millionaire. What are the chances of that happening?
My curse, or blessing, is that I have an overwhelming desire for something greater than the ordinary. I know I won’t be satisfied with anything less. However, greatness isn’t easy to achieve and I’m putting my whole life on the line in its pursuit. Relationships with women, and money, have been indirectly sacrificed as a result of what I’m doing and who I’ve become.
Are you Crazy?
What’s your dream? If it’s anything outside the remit of what society considers normal, or appropriate for someone of your background or education, then you’ll have, undoubtedly, experienced the same uncertainties that I went through. How will you handle them?
First, you must understand that it’s perfectly normal to feel this way. The way you choose to live your life, and the goals you’re chasing, are different to over 95% of the people around you.
It’s hard being on the wrong side of this statistic. You may feel arrogant for assuming you are right and the majority are wrong. Furthermore, you may question your judgement. Despite your instincts telling you one thing, it can be hard to stay true your dreams when the people around you are telling you another.
This dichotomy can create doubt about the validity of your dream. You might think nobody will accept what you’ve created or have to say. If this doubt intensifies, you might catch yourself echoing society’s thinking as you challenge yourself with recriminations like, “Who am I to think I know better than others? There’s nothing special about me.”
Thinking this way can be a death sentence to your dream. I’ve already mentioned that I began writing my book in 2007.
When do you think it was published?
5 years later!
When did I first have the idea of writing it?
5 years earlier!
Do you get the point?
Self-doubt is a bitch and will destroy your dream. Or, if it doesn’t destroy it, it will cause such a delay that you miss out on many years of living it.
For these reasons, the first thing you must do if you ever question your sanity is to give yourself some breathing space. Remember, it’s understandable to feel a little daunted by having a dream that, in its infancy, other people may not believe in or understand. However, you must never allow this uncertainty to turn into doubt.
Know that you are right for wanting to pursue a path that brings inspiration and love into your life and has the potential to do the same for others. This is how humanity, the planet, and perhaps even, the universe, moves forwards. Inspired individuals, and groups, bring light into the world and, by doing so, cast out the shadows of fear, hatred and confusion.
Martin Luther King immediately springs to mind as an example of a man who went through this process. At first, he must have thought his dream for racial harmony in 1950s and 1960s America was crazy. However, by staying true to his path, he illuminated the minds of millions and helped foster love and understanding throughout an entire nation.
Final Thought
Following your dreams is, perhaps, the hardest thing you’ll ever do. Undoubtedly, you’ll face many moments like the one recorded in my diary above (I still do).
When experiencing them, there’ll be a strong temptation to think about returning to the world you used to know. My knee jerk reaction to facing seemingly insurmountable challenges, or failing to advance, used to be thinking about quitting tennis coaching, hypnotherapy and writing, and retraining to be a lawyer or a teacher.
At the time, it seemed like the easy way out. However, who’s to say turning your back on your dream and following society’s path will actually be easier or provide the reprieve you’re seeking?
Actor and comedian Jim Carrey makes this very point when giving a speech to the graduates at the University of Mumbai at their commencement address in 2014. When mentioning his father, who also had dreams of becoming a comedian yet chose to work as an accountant, he had this to say (click on video below).
Are you ready to take that chance?
If you do, just remember that the battle you must fight, and the journey you must travel, are within. To a degree, the external world doesn’t matter and neither do your dreams (after all, they can sometimes change and be refined).
What does, though, is that voice within you that wants to experience, and express, all forms of love. This must be heeded and, if it’s telling you to take a course of action, even if it’s one society deems crazy, then you must follow. It’s the only path to inner peace I know.
(image taken from Anthony Starks’s photostream on Flickr)
Call to Action
If you want to discover a passion you can make a living from and overcome the fears that are holding you back, check out my free course 30 Days to Escape The System. Click here to get the course right now! (You’ll find the tips on developing belief and self-confidence fascinating!)
3 Enjoyable Ways (that I’ve used) to Make Money and Support your Dream
My dream to become a prominent personal development author, and speaker, had its inception back in 2002. Although I took little action at the time, my mind started pondering the practicalities of reaching this destination.
The problem, as I saw it, was that it would take at least a year to write a book. Then, after that, I had no idea how long it would take to get a publishing deal and start receiving royalties. What would I do for money in the meantime (at the time, I was a post graduate living with my parents and, although I wasn’t in any financial difficulty, I didn’t have more than a couple of thousand pounds to my name)?
My savings weren’t going to support a potential 3-year journey (it turned out to be much much longer). Therefore, I had to have another plan. There had to be some way I could make money in a relatively enjoyable way that would also leave enough time for me to write.
As I write this blog post, in 2020, in turns out that there are a multitude of solutions. I’ve experimented with many of them and I’m going to reveal, what I feel, are the best 3.
Before I do so, let me first explain a few of the nuances. One of these methods works best if you are a UK resident (although still applies to Australia, some European countries and US states). Furthermore, I will be using UK based wages and so, the figures, if you live outside of the island, may not be exact. However, the principles and methodology should still be the same, and, therefore, you can adapt the advice to your particular location.
You can use these methods in the same manner that I did (as a way to support yourself while you pursue a greater dream). Or, they can be combined with each other to provide an enjoyable and, potentially wealthy, lifestyle.
What you shouldn’t do, though, is think that any of them are a quick and easy method to making money. Without exception, they all require effort, a willingness to master the fundamentals of each opportunity and a commitment to stick the course until you are successful.
In fact, throughout my 18 years of being self-employed, I’ve never encountered a legit get rich quick, or get rich without putting in the work, scheme. They just don’t exist.
Option Number 1: Network Marketing
Back in 2004, I joined a UK based network marketing company called Utility Warehouse. Our M.O. was to sell utilities (gas, electricity, broadband, mobile) at discounted rates and acquire customers from the mainstream providers. Also, as with other network marketing businesses, a large part of the work involved building a team, operating underneath me, who I would train to find their own clients and, as a result, earn a commission off their activities.
I paid £200 to join, received a training day from the company and support from the person who signed me up.
Ultimately, my foray into the world of network marketing didn’t last long. I was with Utility Warehouse for two years. However, despite my brief tenure, I could see that the model worked.
The services they provided were good, it was run by a competent CEO and their share price on the London stock exchange has over 10x since their inception. I feel confident that, if I’d made Utility Warehouse my main focus and sole form of income, I could have, within 5 years, been earning £5000 a month (this was the estimated length of time and monetary figure they were touting to prospective distributors). Subsequently, I have met people who are making a full time living from this particular company.
Of course, the network marketing model expands well beyond the company I worked for. You might also be interested in;
Arbonne – cosmetics and nutrition
Amway – health, beauty and homecare products (if you’re interested in this particular company, then contact Marcus Suitor. I can vouch for him being a great guy. He also helps organise my Success Club meet up group)
Forever Living – Aloe Vera based drinks and bee derived cosmetics
doTerra – essential oils (contact Margaret Holvec – similar to Marcus but she doesn’t have a connection with Success Club)
The beauty of network marketing, if accomplished successfully, is that the bigger you grow, the less work you have to do (this is because it’s possible to build a small army of distributors working underneath you, from whom you earn a monthly commission on all the products they sell and the people they sign up). After 5 years, you might only have to put in 10 hours work a week, yet the cheques will keep rolling in.
At this point, you could enjoy your copious free time, or go all in with your main dream, knowing you are financially stable thanks to your business.
Option Number 2: Freelancing
In 2003, I began working as a tennis coach. By 2005, I had added hypnotherapist to my freelancing roles.
The selection criteria for these professions followed a 3-part process,
- I had to enjoy the work I was doing.
- It had to pay relatively well per hour (I get, on average, £40 per hour for my tennis coaching work and £70 for the hypnotherapy. This is important because I need enough money so that I don’t have to work full time hours and can, therefore, make time for my writing and speaking businesses).
- The training required to become qualified, and start charging for my time, couldn’t be too long (tennis coaching was just over six months and, to become a hypnotherapist, was just under a year).
If you follow these criteria, you could find yourself in an enviable position. As a freelancer, you get to control your hours and charge more than you would if you were performing the same skill as an employee of a company. However, this type of work is not without its downside.
Client acquisition could be your biggest hurdle. Just because you have the skills, and the qualification, doesn’t mean clients will flock to you. It took me a year and a half before I was making a liveable wage from my tennis coaching and I’ve never reached the point where seeing hypnotherapy clients alone could sustain me.
Despite this drawback, though, freelancing still provides an excellent opportunity to make a liveable income. After working in your industry as an employee, you might already have the skills and qualifications needed to make the switch to freelancing. If not, you could consider any one of these options.
Website, or mobile, developer – approximately 1 years’ worth of training and earning around £3000 a month
Photographer – length of time to qualify varies greatly, but an average seems to be around 2 to 3 years, with the potential to make between £20,000 and £30,000 a year
Personal Trainer – you can qualify in under a half a year and charge £30, and more, per hour
Plumber – approximately 2 years of training with the potential to earn around £25,000 per year (or more)
Uber Driver – a matter of months to receive your license and then you could be earning around £500 per week
Option Number 3: Matched Betting
This option works best for those residing in the UK (although also works for Australia, some European countries and US states). I started matched betting at the end of 2018 after attending one of Ben Father’s excellent masterclasses (see below for more info).
The concept is relatively simple although, if you want to take it to the level whereby it provides a full-time income, you must be prepared to invest time to master its nuances.
Get started by signing up to online bookmakers like Ladbrokes, Coral and William Hill (sign up to all of them). Receive free bets for doing so and then use online software (which you can find out about in Ben’s training) to find the sporting events, and odds, that will enable you to use the free bet in a way that guarantees a profit.
For example, the online software informs you that Arsenal beating Tottenham 2-1 in the Premier League is a matched bet. You then bet for this outcome to occur (using your free bet) at a bookmakers like William Hill. Then, you head over to a betting exchange like Smarkets, and bet against Arsenal beating Tottenham 2-1. Because you are using a free bet, and because of the genius of the online software, you will win money regardless of the outcome.
Sounds good?
You can trawl through every conceivable online bookmaker using their free sign up bets in this manner. Then, after you’ve exhausted this initial phase, the bookmakers will, in conjunction with various major sporting events (for example, when Wimbledon is on), offer you more free bets. Repeat the process and rake in the money.
Sports betting isn’t the only avenue for taking advantage of matched betting. Once you’ve mastered it, make your way over to the online casinos and use the free bets that are offered.
I experimented with Matched Betting for 4 months. In that space of time, I made a profit from exhausting all the free sign up bets.
At this point, I stopped. The demands of being a writer, speaker, tennis coach and hypnotherapist were just too great for me to continue with matched betting. However, my brief experience taught me that it worked.
£500 a month was the figure I kept hearing at both the masterclass training seminar and from other matched betters in the community. This was relatively easy to make and required approximately an hour of your time each day.
If you want to take it further, it appeared there were people making thousands of pounds per month from mastering matched betting, teaching others how to do it and being an affiliate. A full-time income is possible and, most importantly, it can be achieved without working full time hours.
SPECIAL OFFER: TO FIND OUT MORE ABOUT MATCHED BETTING, ATTEND BEN FATHER’S FREE ONLINE TRAINING THIS MONDAY THE 13TH JULY AT 8PM UK. SIGN UP HERE
IF YOU’RE READING THIS BLOG POST AFTER THE 13TH OF JULY, CONTACT ME AT JOE@ESCAPETHESYSTEMNOW.COM, PUT ‘MATCHED BETTING’ IN THE SUBJECT BAR, AND I SHOULD BE ABLE TO GET YOU ACCESS TO A REPLAY.
FINAL THOUGHT
I hope you’ve found these 3 options useful. It is possible to make money in an enjoyable way that doesn’t eat into all your free time.
If you enjoyed this blog post, or know a friend who might benefit from reading it, then please share with them or on your social media. Also, if you want to learn more on this subject, then check out my new book, Do The Work you Love. It expands on the ideas listed here, helps you identify your passion and gives you the roadmap to making a living doing it. To learn more, click here.
(image taken from Pictures of Money photostream flickr.com)
Call to Action
If you want to discover a passion you can make a living from and overcome the fears that are holding you back, check out my free course 30 Days to Escape The System. Click here to get the course right now! (You’ll find the tips on developing belief and self-confidence fascinating!)
The 4 Steps to Achieving the Impossible
“It always seems impossible until it’s done.”
– Nelson Mandela
I did it!!! The picture you see above is of me holding my first ‘published’ book. While I signed the book deal with Watkins Media back in December of 2018, it wasn’t until I held a copy in my hand that it really sunk in.
I’m a published author.
I’ve done the thing I was told was impossible.
My Impossible
I was first told becoming a published author was impossible by my parents when I mentioned my plan way back in 2002. Later, it was reinforced by another author I met and a friend who worked for a major publishing company. Finally, and most convincingly, the general consensus opinion, gathered from reading The Writer’s and Artist’s Yearbook, magazines and being influenced by the media, also indicated this was the case.
Getting a book published was impossible or, so difficult, it’s just wasn’t worth trying. Furthermore, the royalties were so poor that hardly any author could make a living selling books alone.
Unfortunately, I believed what I was told. As a result, I was fighting two battles. Not only was I competing against authority figures, I was also competing against myself.
What do you think happens when you have to work against this backdrop of doubt?
16 years pass in between you accomplishing your objective.
I didn’t start writing in earnest until 2007. That’s 5 years of procrastinating because I didn’t believe it was possible. Then, even when I’d completed my first book – Escape The System – back in 2012, I didn’t approach any publishing companies.
Getting a book published is impossible so why waste time emailing publishers? That was my thought process and it lead me to self-publishing my first book.
More years of grind followed, as I attempted to build an audience and learn about marketing – something that was very alien to me. However, during this time, I learned a valuable lesson.
Getting your book published is possible.
While searching the web, I started to hear stories of authors who had self-published their first book, built an audience and then used their following to leverage a deal with a publishing company. There was nothing special about these authors. Sure, their books were good but so was mine. Maybe I could do it.
Then, in 2017, I met an author at a YesGroup meeting in London. His name was Brett Moran and his first book, Wake The F##k Up, was published by Watkins Media. I bought a copy, wrote him a review and asked if he would share the details of his contact at Watkins.
Fortunately, he agreed and I emailed them, asking if they’d consider publishing Escape The System. After reading the book, they declined but seemed genuine in their praise and request to hear from me in if I had any future projects. A year later, Do The Work you Love was complete and I sent them the manuscript.
Was I surprised when they emailed me back offering a publishing deal?
I was delighted but only partly surprised. I believed in the book and, now that I knew it was possible to get a book deal, I adopted the mind-set of ‘why shouldn’t I have one?’ What once seemed so far away and incomprehensible, had now become ordinary.
Can YOU Achieve your Impossible?
What about you? What are you currently struggling with that, so far, you’ve found impossible to achieve?
Perhaps your impossible is based around your health and recovering from an injury or illness. Maybe it’s overcoming an addiction. Maybe it’s finding love or simply getting a girlfriend or boyfriend.
There are unique reasons as to why we don’t believe we can do certain things. What one person may find impossible, another finds easy.
Don’t be disheartened by this. The only person you’re competing with is yourself. We all bring different capabilities, and perspectives, to the task at hand. Where we all unite, though, is in benefitting from the experience of overcoming our respective impossible.
With that in mind, ask yourself the following 4 questions. Answering them will let you know whether, you too, can achieve your impossible.
- Has someone else done it before?
If someone else has achieved your impossible then you can do the same.
It has been done. Therefore, no matter how many people tell you that you can’t do it, another person has.
What’s so different between you and them? (Read steps 2 to 4 and you’ll discover that it’s less than you think).
Arnold Schwarzenegger, in his autobiography Total Recall, tells the story of the first man to clean and jerk over 500 pounds. Up until this point, it was viewed as impossible for a human to lift this amount. However, in 1970, when Russian weight lifter, Vasily Alekseyev, lifted 501 lbs, three other men broke the 500 lbs barrier within a year.
Knowing that someone else has achieved your impossible awakens your mind to the idea that you might be able to do it.
Even if it’s never been done, this shouldn’t stop you from trying. After all, the Russian weight lifter was breaking new ground. Why not you?
2. Do you have a natural talent for whatever it is you want to achieve?
I don’t want this step to be misconstrued. Talent is not the be all and end all. However, it helps.
I’ve been a tennis coach for 17 years. During this time, I’ve seen again and again, with both boys and girls, that there’s a natural predisposition to the sport. Some young children can just pick up a racket and hit a ball. Most can’t. Those that can, learn faster and progress quicker than the others.
Of course, this doesn’t mean that those without this talent will fail to become good tennis players. However, it’s harder and they’ll need to put in substantially more time to reach the same level as their more talented counterparts.
Having said this, though, there’s a limit to what talent can achieve. Time and again, I’ve seen players with greater talent lose to, and fail to progress as far through the rankings, as a children who play more, are surrounded by others aiming to be professionals and are obsessed with reaching the top level of the game. Over a long enough time frame, desire beats talent.
What can you learn from this example?
Choose something you already have an aptitude for. Be smart and pick your battles. Maybe it isn’t wise to take on the world. Instead, find something you’re already good at, or know you’ll learn quickly, and make your mark in this area.
3. Are you prepared to move heaven and earth to achieve your mission?
It will take extraordinary commitment to achieve your impossible. After all, this is something that, at the onset, you can’t see yourself achieving.
A mission like this requires everything you’ve got. You’ll have to think about it everyday. You’ll have to work on it almost every day. It must become your main life priority.
As a hypnotherapist, I’ve seen a lot of clients who struggle to lose weight. They would come to the session and tell me, for various health and personal reasons, why it was so important to them. However, when I’d tell them that, at least for the period of time it takes to form new habit – typically 66 days* – taking the steps necessary to lose weight would have to become their main life priority (above work and children), they’d baulk at the suggestion.
As a result, things might go well for a week or so but then, when their workload picked up, and they started having to stay late (and, as a result, fell back into bad habits like eating takeaways), they’d believe their failure was justified. Of course, it wasn’t, as we almost always have options (they could have refused to work past their contracted hours) if we’re prepared to take them and face the consequences.
Ultimately, they just didn’t understand the level of commitment needed to achieve their impossible. You have to be prepared to die for whatever it is you want to achieve.
4. Will you ignore the Lies?
What I was told by my parents, the other author I knew and the friend who worked at a publishing company, and what I heard in the media, was a lie.
Having now achieved my impossible, I realise I could have done so in half the time. My procrastination and doubt stopped me, not a real block that prevents people from becoming published authors.
Remember, other people, or The System you live in, are not the keepers of the truth. For whatever reason – sometimes they genuinely believe they’re protecting you, sometimes it’s because they’re jealous of you pursuing your dream – they are just promoting their scared version of reality.
Don’t let it become yours. Ignore the lies and work towards your dream regardless. History reveals there are very few, if any, desires or ideas that are impossible to achieve.
Final Thought
Achieving your impossible f##ks with your head in a positive way.
If you can do the thing they told you was impossible, how many of the other goals and dreams, that you were led to believe were off limits, can you also accomplish?
Achieving your impossible opens your mind to a new world of possibilities. It makes you realise that you, and you alone, are the sole determiner in how far you can go.
Do The Work you Love
My new book, Do The Work you Love, will be launched on the 11th February 2020. To pre-order your copy, click the link here.
* Research undertaken at the University College of London in 2009