Tag: Inspiration
Eat Food, Have Sex, Stay Alive
Lately, I’ve been feeling overwhelmed. It seems like I’m being pulled in 10 different directions and not finding the time to work on my most important goals.
Yesterday, while in this state of disillusionment, I drove to one of my client’s houses to do our weekly tennis lesson. As I joined the queue waiting at the traffic light, I noticed a crow bouncing around on a patch of grass, pecking away at a morsel of food.
“How easy it is for you,” I thought. “No responsibilities, no demands, no places to be or to-do lists to complete. All you need to do is eat food, have sex and stay alive.”
In that moment, I envied the crow.
I longed for its life of simplicity and clarity. However, as I drove off and my mood shifted, I began a deeper contemplation of my own, and the wider human, condition.
Here are my conclusions.
A Crow’s Life
While my assessment of the crow’s life objectives was correct, I made a mistake in thinking that mine (or yours) are any different.
We’re all on this planet to eat food, have sex and stay alive. However, while the crow meets these needs in the most basic of ways, our route is far more complex.
Let’s compare both now.
For the crow, everything is literal.
The food is the morsels, crumbs, worms and bugs they can hunt or scavenge.
When it comes to sex, they’re driven to reproduce as often as possible with as many mates as possible. Of course, they have parenting responsibilities. They must build a nest, incubate their eggs and feed their chicks. However, beyond that, there’s little else to do.
Staying alive means survival. There are predators to contend with, made man hazards to avoid, scarcity of resources and harsh conditions. Every day, the crow must be aware of its surroundings and respond quickly to threats.
And that, in a nutshell, is its life.
The crow is driven by instincts and its success is determined by how long it can survive and how many offspring it can create.
The 3 Pillars of Existence
Humans don’t have such a strong instinctive drive.
Yes, we have our innate programming but this is often overridden by the societies we live in.
Rather than doing what we want, many end up living the life that’s expected of them.
As a reader of my newsletter, blog or books, I don’t want that for you.
Using the crow as inspiration, I’m going to show you a way of making life simpler, less stressful, and, ultimately, more fulfilling.
So, keep reading as I extrapolate on the three pillars of existence (food, sex and survival) and explain how they can be applied to the human world.
1. Eat Food
As with the crow, this pillar also has a literal meaning.
You need to consume food to function and live. However, rather than secure this resource as you might have done 10,000 years ago, you must acquire something else first – money.
At this point, we break from the crow and this causes much confusion for the majority of people.
In modern societies, money has become so much more than a means to providing sustenance and shelter.
To many people’s minds, it also provides status, happiness and access to experiences. As a result, we make its acquisition the overriding focus of our lives and forget its true purpose (food and a roof over our heads).
This causes a problem and makes life way more complicated than it needs to be. Instead of earning money to make sure that our basic needs are met, most people work ridiculously long hours in stressful jobs because they’re chasing the commonly held delusion that more money is going to significantly improve their quality of life.
It won’t.
True status isn’t acquired through wealth but your character and accomplishments.
Happiness is achieved through mental well-being, doing what you love and spending time with the people you love (all things that are difficult to experience if you spend most of your time working a job you don’t like to make more money).
And while money can provide access to a wider range of experiences, there is so much that can be enjoyed for free or at a relatively low cost (walks in nature, sex, reading a great book, some forms of travel, playing a sport you enjoy and spending time with friends).
So, what should you do?
If you want a simpler, more enjoyable and fulfilling life, remember the true purpose of money.
Earn enough, or a little more than necessary, to meet your basic needs. Beyond that, don’t make money the focus of your life.
Of course, this doesn’t mean you’ll forever be confined to having a low income or negligible assets. On the contrary, you can still build wealth while not making the acquisition of money your primary focus.
You chase greater goals (which will be explored in the “Stay Alive” section) and to have a simpler, happier life, money must be put in its rightful place.
2. Have Sex
Humans are complicated animals and, as a result, the second pillar isn’t as straightforward as it would seem.
To have a simpler, happier and more fulfilling life, you shouldn’t be looking to have sex with as many people as possible. Even the crow doesn’t do this. However, it’s undeniable that sex and reproduction are one of the most important aspects of human life.
On a basic level, they’re the meaning of life.
You are here to ensure the continuation of the species (and this is coming from someone who’s a year into IVF with his partner and staring the very real prospect of missing out on being a father in the face). It’s your first, and perhaps foremost, drive. However, it’s not as simple as completing a physical act.
You have about 30 years to get this pillar right.
For the sake of argument, let’s say your reproductive years are from 15 to 45. Of course, I know that men can father children after this age but, even for them, it gets harder (mainly because there’s an absence of fertile women their age and finding a much younger mate requires them to be exceptional in some way). And, of course, I know that 15 is below the age of consent but I’ve picked this age because teenagers will date each other and take the first steps on their journey to finding love and one day becoming parents.
These first steps are important.
On a superficial level, if you’re a woman, you want to maximise your physical beauty and, if you’re a man, you want to rise to the top of your social circle and attain alpha male status.
On a deeper level, if you want to keep a relationship and get to the stage where you might have children with someone, you need to make sure you’re a likeable person with an engaging personality.
Master these elements and you should be ok. However, there’s another aspect to the second pillar of existence that’s equally important.
Unlike the crow, you’re not hatching chicks that’ll only take a year to become independent.
Instead, you must now raise a child, which is an 18-year commitment.
While this may seem burdensome, doing this job well will provide you with some of the happiest and most fulfilling moments of your life.
3. Stay Alive
A human faces different, and more complicated, threats than the crow. While it’s unlikely someone or something is going to try and kill you, there are a variety of silent killers that you need to be aware of.
Your goal should be to live as long a life as possible. On top of being an instinctive drive, it means you get to enjoy the experience of life for longer and watch your children grow and have their own kids. However, this third pillar of existence isn’t just about the number of years you live, it’s also about the quality of those years.
While the crow just has to keep on living, you must make sure you’re actually alive.
Benjamin Franklin once said, “Most people die at 25 and aren’t buried until they are 75.”
This speaks to the fact that so many give up on their dreams.
By 25, or 30, they’re stuck in the system, playing out a role they believe everyone expects them to fulfil.
Little inspires them. Sure, they can have fun and feel moments of happiness but a good portion of their life is spent going through the motions, meeting all the obligations they believe are unavoidable.
As a result, with the passing of the decades, they die a little more inside. Eventually, they just fade away, losing the will to live once they reach 70 or older.
You must protect against this possibility. Instead of making money, and the fulfilling of societal or familial expectations, the focus of your life, you must seek to live a life that makes you feel alive.
Typically, this means following your dreams.
What challenges, quests and projects make you come alive?
Find a way (whether paid or otherwise) to be involved with these almost every day.
To some degree, doing so will prevent you from getting old. You mind will be stimulated and this will have a positive effect on your body.
Merely surviving isn’t enough. Make sure that you continue growing, learning and succeeding.
Do these three things (eat food, have sex and stay alive) and you’ll enjoy a life well lived.
GET YOUR FREE COURSE
If you want to discover a passion you can make a living from and overcome the fears that are holding you back, check out my free course 30 Days to Escape The System. Click here to get the course right now! (You’ll find the tips on developing belief and self-confidence fascinating!)
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21 Movies To Make You Rich, Achieve Your Dreams And Release Your Inner Maverick
Movies have saved my life!
Or, perhaps it would be accurate to say that movies have brought me back to life.
When I was at my lowest, feeling disillusioned with the world I was living in and seeing no prospects for living the exciting, meaningful life I wanted to live, I went to the cinema or popped some of the movies below in the DVD player, sat back and felt all my motivation and inspiration return.
For me, being inspired by a movie is about connection.
I feed off the energy of seeing inspiring, defiant, strong, courageous and dignified people stand up for what they believe is right, pursue their dreams and be unapologetically true to themselves.
With that in mind, I’ve compiled a list of 21 movies which will help you do the same.
For ease of use, I’ve split the 21 movies into 7 categories. I’ll write a little bit about each category and why it’s important, and then a sentence on the movie itself (with its IMDb rating).
If you were hoping for romantic comedy or horror, I’m sorry to disappoint you. I do enjoy movies purely for entertainment but this is a list of films that will add something to your life – whether that’s knowledge, clarity, insights or courage.
Make use of it.
MOVIES TO MAKE YOU FILTHY RICH
I don’t condone the actions taken by the characters in these films. Far from it. Some of them are downright despicable. However, I’d be a liar if I said there isn’t an allure to getting filthy rich and learning from the people who did.
These movies are exciting, reveal the importance of taking risks and help you connect with the reality of being rich beyond your wildest dreams (although you may want to follow more legal means to becoming so).
1. The Wolf Of Wall Street (2013) 8.2
The story of Jordan Belfort, who reveals that the ability to sell can make you a multimillionaire, even if what you’re selling has no value.
2. The Big Short (2015) 7.8
Witness how fortunes can be made by seeing the hidden opportunity in an industry clouded by status quo thinking.
3. Scarface (1983) 8.3
Discover the power of risk taking as Tony Montana uses his balls (courage) and word (integrity) to transform himself from Cuban asylum seeker to Miami kingpin.
FEEL GOOD “MAKE YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE” MOVIES
These movies are based on true stories of people who made it despite the odds. All of their dreams were “impossible” but they used grit, audacity and a vision that only they could see, to propel them to success.
Watching these films will fill you with the belief that dreams do come true. Furthermore, they’ll reveal both the practical steps needed to be successful and the real-life obstacles you’ll face on your journey.
4. The Walk (2015) 7.3
The story of Phillipe Petit – the man who tightrope walked between the Twin Towers in 1974 – reveals how only thinking of success (and not allowing your mind to contemplate failure or, in Petit’s case, death), develops mastery over fear.
5. Joy (2015) 6.6
The story of Joy Mangano, the inventor of the Miracle Mop, reveals how self-reliance, and reconnecting with what inspired you as a child, can be a recipe for runaway success.
6. The Pursuit Of Happyness (2006) 8.0
The story of Chris Gardener, an intelligent man who, after many years of failing to realise his potential, strikes gold when he gives up everything (but his son) in an attempt to win a position at a prestigious trading company.
Edgy “Make Your Dreams Come True” Movies
The darker side of making your dreams come true. What happens when personal ambition trumps all else in an obsessional quest for wealth, recognition and success?
The answer isn’t always pretty. However, these movies portray a raw and real account of the difficult decisions that sometimes have to be made.
As with the “movies to make you filthy rich” category, I don’t condone all the actions these characters take. However, I understand what was driving them and joining them on their path to success is still an exciting ride.
7. The Founder (2016) 7.2
The story of Ray Kroc – the man who took McDonald’s from the McDonald brothers and set it on the road to becoming the global corporation that it is today – reveals that success can come in your latter years if you remain hungry and are ruthless enough to seize your opportunity when it arises.
8. Whiplash (2014) 8.5
A music student pushes himself to unhealthy lengths to master his craft and win the approval of his belligerent teacher, only succeeding at realising his dreams once he lets go of them.
9. The Social Network (2010) 7.8
The Facebook origins story, where Mark Zuckerberg sacrifices everything, including his college degree at Harvard and close friendships, to succeed with his fledgling tech company.
Fight The System Movies
Why include this category?
The answer is simple, education. These movies will open your eyes to the world we live in (and it’s not a pretty place). All of them are based on real events and all of them reveal the corruption of the system.
Fortunately, though, brave individuals exist who are prepared to put everything on the line to challenge this corruption and do what’s right.
These films will both remove and restore your faith in humanity. You’ll get an insight into the lengths the system will go to protect its power but also how brave individuals, or a group of them, can make a difference and create change.
10. Dark Waters (2019) 7.6
A corporate defence attorney goes rogue, rocking the boat at both his prestigious law firm, and in the corporate world, by challenging the might of chemical giant, DuPont, after it knowingly poisons residents at a nearby factory in the name of profit.
11. JFK (1991) 8.0
A district attorney refuses to accept the official verdict on the Kennedy assassination and risks his career, and life, to ensure justice isn’t forgotten by exposing the corruption that lies at the heart of the American political system.
12. Official Secrets (2019) 7.3
A British intelligence specialist is faced with the unappealing prospect of committing treason to do what’s morally right by exposing the lies that led to the US and UK invasion of Iraq in 2003.
Inspiring Mavericks Who Don’t Give A Fuck Movies
These individuals will inspire you and entertain you in equal measures. Fearless in their approach to life, they don’t give a damn how many people tell them a thing can’t be done, or that they’re putting themselves at risk by challenging the status quo.
Watching these mavericks defiantly face insurmountable challenges will fill you with the courage needed to stand up for yourself and your dreams.
13. Dallas Buyers Club (2013) 7.9
Set in the mid-80s, Ron Woodruff, a hustler and electrician from Texas, refuses to be killed by the AIDS virus and, instead, starts helping other victims who have been failed by the pharmaceutical companies seeking to profit from their disease.
14. Erin Brockovich (2000) 7.4
A feisty single mother refuses to be intimidated by a California power company who were knowingly polluting a city’s water supply, holding them to account for their actions despite zero legal training.
15. Moneyball (2011) 7.6
Billy Beane, coach of the Oakland A’s, takes a radical new approach to Baseball, challenging traditional notions of how to manage a team and succeeding despite a lack of resources.
Movies That Will Blow Your Mind And Alter Your Perspective On Life
1999 was an incredible year for film. The pending turn of the millennium must have caused script writers, directors and producers to think deeply about life and the direction humanity was heading.
The following three movies will leave you feeling different, or changed, after watching them. Whether it’s through their allegorical power or the probing questions they ask about the way most people live their lives, they might cause you to rethink your understanding of life and fire you up to follow a more adventurous path.
16. The Matrix (1999) 8.7
Following the story of Neo, we learn how humanity has been duped into accepting a false reality, living as obedient slaves with only a tiny minority daring to ask the questions that could set them free.
17. Fight Club (1999) 8.8
Don’t be fooled by the violence, this movie is about a vibrant and exciting life philosophy that will free you from the dull monotony of life in the system.
18. American Beauty (1999) 8.3
This movie exposes the façade of modern life, as a man experiencing a mid-life crisis cuts through the bullshit of married, and work, life in an attempt to experience something real.
Triumph Of The Human Spirit Movies
Our final category. These are the movies to pick you up when you feel all hope has gone.
Watch people who have experienced terrible injustices, and faced impossible situations, overcome all the odds and right the wrongs that were done to them.
Their stories will fill you with belief that, no matter how far down you fall, you can always get back up and succeed.
19. The Hurricane (1999) 7.6
The story of boxer, Ruben Carter, who was falsely imprisoned for murder in the 60s and then spent 20 years trying to clear his name while the corrupt local police department, and judicial system, withheld evidence that could have set him free.
20. The Shawshank Redemption (1994) 9.3
Watch main character, Andy Dufresne, remain productive and positive despite serving a life sentence for a crime he didn’t commit and, ultimately, outsmarting everyone to win his freedom.
21. Men Of Honor (2000) 7.2
The true story of Carl Brashear, who faces every obstacle – racism, disability, lack of education – in his attempt to break down barriers and become the first black Master Diver in the US Navy.
Over To You
Please add to the list in the comment section below. Hopefully this can be a useful resource to all people who draw strength and inspiration from movies.
Related Content
Top 10 Films To Change Your Life
The 9 Steps To Achieving Your Dreams
GET YOUR FREE COURSE
If you want to discover a passion you can make a living from and overcome the fears that are holding you back, check out my free course 30 Days to Escape The System. Click here to get the course right now! (You’ll find the tips on developing belief and self-confidence fascinating!)
A REQUEST
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5 Ridiculous Things I Tried Before Finding My Purpose (and how you can find yours)
Let me take you back to 2002.
I’d just completed my politics degree and returned home after 3 years at university.
Now, I was faced with the unenviable prospect of discovering what I was going to do with the rest of my life.
I didn’t have many ideas.
I certainly knew what I DIDN’T want to do.
- I didn’t want to be stuck in an office for 40 to 60 hours a week
- I didn’t want to work solely for money (I wanted the work I did to be meaningful)
- I didn’t want to have my whole life (where I lived, when I took holiday, when I woke up, when I played sports) dictated to me by a job
Beyond that, though, I was stuck.
I knew my criteria. I wanted to support myself in a fun and inspiring way. However, I couldn’t identify an actual occupation that would both do that and to which my skills and personality would be suited.
So, I went through a period of experimentation. I tried the following 5 ridiculous options in the hope I might get lucky and find my purpose. (Please note, when I use the word ridiculous the implication is that they are ridiculous for me. For you, they might be a great fit and I wouldn’t want to dissuade you from pursuing them).
1. Acting
As long as I can remember, I’ve always been inspired by movies. Combine this with my slightly extroverted tendencies (I enjoy being in front of a camera or on stage) and acting seemed like a good fit.
I didn’t want to be any old actor, though, I wanted to be a movie star.
At the time, both Denzel Washington and Ed Norton were my favourite actors and I wanted to play powerful, moving roles like they did in The Hurricane and American History X. However, despite my grandiose ambitions, I had zero acting experience and no idea how to make it in the industry.
I had to start somewhere, though, and for me this involved enrolling on an adult education acting course.
Hollywood, this was not.
I attended 8 weeks of this course (probably geared towards people wanting to appear in local plays) and that was enough.
The final straw came when the tutor wanted us to sing while jumping around (I don’t know whether this was for her amusement or whether it’s a legitimate training technique).
At that point, I was out. I felt like I was embarrassing myself and that this environment was a million miles away from my Hollywood ambitions.
2. Modelling
What possessed me to pursue this avenue?
Probably an, at the time, inflated opinion of the way I looked and the comments of a school teacher (suggesting I should try out as a model) after I took part in a school runway show.
So, I did what any self-respecting would-be model would do and got my Mum to take some photos of me doing, what I thought were, model poses (but probably looked something closer to Ben Stiller in Zoolander).
I took this “portfolio” up to London and shopped it around at various modelling agencies.
The reactions I received varied from barely concealed laughter to being told I was classically handsome but not model material.
I did have one fan, though, who waited for me at the exit of an agency.
A 50-year-old gay guy told me he had a private room where we could take some “special” photos that were bound to impress the unappreciative modelling scouts.
I declined.
3. Becoming A Preacher
Throughout my life, I’d always been sceptical of religion. However, after reading Joseph Murphy’s The Power Of Your Subconscious Mind, I began to think of it differently.
Murphy regularly quoted the bible and explained the deeper meaning of the words in such a way that was both accessible and illuminating. Furthermore, he referenced the Church of New Thought and mentioned he was a minister of this institution.
It’s difficult to capture in words the impact that The Power Of Your Subconscious Mind had on my life at that time. Therefore, I thought to myself, if there’s some opportunity within the Church to be involved in what Joseph Murphy writes about, then I’m in.
This thought process resulted in two trips to Church.
The first was a regular, if somewhat evangelical, Church where I witnessed scripture readings and several members of the congregation being baptised and “born again.” While the ceremony moved me, it was too traditional, reminding me of the Church I’d known as a child (albeit a far more emotionally charged version).
My second trip was to a New Thought Church in London (the only one I could find – after spending a great deal of time scouring the internet). Here, the service was lot more sombre and sparsely attended.
In truth, it couldn’t have been more devoid of the inspiration I felt in the words of Joseph Murphy’s books. I talked with the preacher/organiser at the end but she dissuaded me from becoming a New Thought minister.
She explained there were limited options in London and that, anyway, the world of politics (I told her about my degree) was in greater need of Joseph Murphy’s teachings than the Church – something I didn’t want to hear.
4. Script Writing
As much as I wanted to be in front of the camera, creating powerful, moving stories was equally appealing.
So, I got myself a script writing guide from the library and studied it cover to cover.
I thought this was going to be easier than writing a book. However, coming up with a plot, characters and writing dialogue was more complicated than I imagined.
I spent a few summer afternoons, lying out in the sun, wracking my brains but not being able to create anything of note.
5. Utility Warehouse Distributor
A year after all these adventures took place, I signed up to be a Utility Warehouse Distributor.
This was a network marketing scheme that involved getting customers to switch their electricity, gas and internet and recruiting a team of distributers who would do the same.
I was lured by the prospect of setting my own working hours and achieving a substantial passive income once my network grew. However, the product, and the work itself, couldn’t have been any further from my wheelhouse.
I’m not a natural salesman (I used to struggle to sell my own books, so selling something I didn’t believe in was a total non-starter).
After 9 months, and 3 customers acquired, I quit.
How You Can Find YOUR Purpose
As you can tell from this list, I did a fair amount of fruitless searching in my youth.
Some of my ideas WERE ridiculous but did it matter?
Not really because the intention behind the search was pure.
I wanted to do inspiring work. Even deeper than that, I wanted to find my life’s purpose and if, in the process of getting to this destination, I had to go through a period of struggle, embarrassment and rejection, it was ultimately worth it.
That’s the first message of this blog post.
DON’T GIVE UP YOUR SEARCH.
You may feel like you’re wasting time pursuing different avenues that, ultimately, lead nowhere but the mere intention to find your life’s purpose is enough.
As a result of this desire, ideas WILL come to you and opportunities WILL present themselves.
Eventually, I turned my hand to writing self-help books.
I wrote 5 drafts of my first book before I finally released it in 2012.
It wasn’t easy. At many points, I felt lost and couldn’t see how this endeavour was going to work out. However, ultimately, through my confusion and struggle, I found a way and experienced success.
That’s the second message of this blog post.
IT’S OK TO FEEL LOST AND TO STRUGGLE.
A way can be made out of no way.
The thought of getting a book publishing deal seemed unreachable to me in 2008. In 2018, I got signed and the impossible became reality.
The same can happen for you. You can struggle, you can have no idea how something is going to work out and yet, you can still make it through the darkness and find clarity and direction.
How?
HOLD ONTO YOUR VISION.
Even if that vision doesn’t have an identifiable endpoint (to sell X number of books, to be a travel blogger with 100,000 subscribers, to run a business creating and selling affordable eco-homes), the strong desire to experience greater freedom, to feel excited and engaged every day and to have a life filled with love (a love for what you do and to be surrounded by people you love) is enough to get you started.
From here, and through a process of experimentation and trial and error, you’ll find out what is, and isn’t, going to work.
A path will emerge.
That path might fade at times, and take a few wrong terms, but by holding onto your vision (and it improving in clarity as you do so), you’ll eventually arrive at your destination.
Good luck!
GET YOUR FREE COURSE
If you want to discover a passion you can make a living from and overcome the fears that are holding you back, check out my free course 30 Days to Escape The System. Click here to get the course right now! (You’ll find the tips on developing belief and self-confidence fascinating!)
A REQUEST
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What I Learned from being Fired 3 Times in 5 Months
Almost twenty years ago to the day, I got fired from a filing job at a major UK residential property developer.
I lasted four hours!
The manager called the temporary agency I was working for at the time and complained about my lackadaisical work ethic and lack of filing experience.
I couldn’t believe it. Who needs experience for a filing job? However, as I took my leave from the office and began the premature journey home to my parents’ house, it all began to make sense.
The day had started ominously. There were no pleasantries when I arrived, no shake of the hand or ‘how are you?‘. Instead, I was shown to a desk, some paperwork was dumped in front of me and I was told to file it.
Ten minutes in, I was bored out of my brain. Their instructions were vague and, I was so demotivated, I didn’t bother asking the manager for clarification. I just muddled through, making it up as I went along and counting down the hours until lunch break.
When I got the phone call from my agency, informing me of my dismissal, I was actually relieved. Despite being a little embarrassed I didn’t last a full day, I couldn’t wait to get out of the office.
The entire morning had been spent clock watching and contemplating my recent employment record. In the previous five months, I’d had six different placements. I’d been dismissed from three of them.
In the month leading up to Christmas, I’d worked in a retail store. At the time, they said I was needed for the holiday period and new year. After Christmas, they informed me they didn’t want me back.
After that, I had a two-week spell doing data entry for a local company. Again, they weren’t interested in keeping me on.
I then went to a local sign making factory and was put to work filing the steel and working in the post room. They fired me after a day.
The agency then thought it best to find me non-office related work. As a result, I was sent to wash dishes at a few different kitchens. This, I managed to complete without being fired. Although I didn’t enjoy the work, the shifts were shorter and, as a result, my boredom wasn’t as apparent.
Having managed to successfully see out these temporary dish washing contracts, the agency thought I might, once again, be ready for office work.
I wasn’t, though, and not only did the ‘four-hour firing’ episode bring an end to my time in this environment, it also brought a close to my reliance on agency work.
Follow Your Inspiration
As I made my way back home, I was buzzing. There was a question running through my mind.
I was done with boring jobs. I knew that. I wasn’t going to spend another hour of my life sitting in an office, wasting away. However, I was also contemplating whether I needed to do anything I didn’t enjoy ever again. Could I use this huge level of inspiration I was feeling as a guide and ride it all the way to the life of my dreams?
I’ve thought about that moment many times since. In some ways, it represents a crossroad in my life. However, rather than taking one path or the other, the conventional or the inspired, I set off walking a middle ground.
I never rode the wave of inspiration and I certainly did plenty of work and tasks I didn’t enjoy in the subsequent years. However, I’ve also followed my heart and made decisions based on what inspires me.
Now, having reaped the rewards of following my inspiration, I look back and wonder whether I could have pushed the envelope even further.
What would have happened if I did? Was there any potential failure or consequence so great it would have stopped me?
I ask these questions for two reasons. 1. I like to look back to learn for the future. 2. It might bear some relevance to you.
It’s no secret that worker satisfaction levels are pitifully low. I mention in my upcoming book ‘Do The Work you Love’ that, according to 2012 Right Management survey of the US and Canadian workforce, 81% of people in employed roles don’t enjoy their jobs.
Perhaps you are one of these people. Perhaps, like me twenty years ago, you’ve wondered whether you can just walk out on your job tomorrow and let your inspiration guide you to a new life.
Is it possible?
After twenty years of tentatively following mine, here are my thoughts.
The Journey
In short, my answer is ‘Yes’. I believe it would be possible to quit your job tomorrow and use your inspiration as a guide to create, and live, the life of your dreams. However, before I elaborate on my thinking, let’s define what following your inspirations means.
Following your inspiration means making decisions based on what excites you the most. For example, let’s say you’re inspired by the idea of writing screenplays. You already know that your present job, as a financial analyst, is not your dream, so you quit and begin a new adventure.
You hand in your notice (in practise, you might then have to work a few more weeks) and start working on your first screenplay the very next day.
It’s great fun. You’re learning every day, making progress and excited about the end product. You continue working away, regardless of your financial situation, because this is what inspires you. This is where the magic is at.
Months down the line, when the screenplay is finished, you begin shopping it around. Perhaps you’re successful and, only a few weeks into looking for interested parties, a studio wants to buy your script.
More than likely, you’re not and, as the months continue to pass, financial concerns start to play on your mind. You realise that, while you continue to shop your screenplay, you’re going to have to get another job. Of course, you don’t want to repeat your previous mistake and get trapped in a job you don’t enjoy, so you look for work that interests and excites you.
Perhaps you find it. Perhaps you don’t. Ultimately, you might have to take any job you can get in order to pay the bills. However, you’re still following your inspiration because you haven’t given up on your dream.
While working, you keep searching for interested studios or agents. If that continues to fail then, maybe, you shelve your first project and begin working on a second. You learn from your previous mistakes and create a superior script. Once complete, you again look for interested parties.
You keep repeating this pattern until you’re successful. Or, perhaps, you reach a point where writing screenplays no longer inspires you. Instead, you become more excited by the idea of taking your newfound writing skills and creating a health and fitness blog.
Perhaps the blog is successful and maintains your interest. Perhaps it doesn’t.
By now, you should understand what living an inspiration led life entails. You keep going and going, either being successful at making a living from your passion or, being inspired by a new idea and making a go of that.
Of course, while walking this path, you may have to do stints of paid work you don’t enjoy. Don’t worry if this is the case. So long as this doesn’t become your main focus, and is only undertaken until you’ve saved up enough money to make another concerted effort at making a living from your passion, then it’s ok. Eventually, you will hit upon an idea or a career that both inspires you and generates enough money for you to live on.
This is what following your inspiration looks like. Yes, it’s risky and you may have little money for vacations and consumer items. You may even be constantly on the verge of going broke. However, you’re alive!
You know why you’re living and every day is filled with purpose. This more than compensates for all the ups and downs and uncertainty you experience in the lead up to becoming successful.
But what happens if your inspiration is telling you to quit your job yet you don’t have a clue about what you might do? Can you still take the risk?
What to do if you Don’t have a Clue
Twenty years ago, I had no idea what my dream might be. As I walked back home, buzzing off the combination of a brilliant song and an exciting idea, my energy levels were at a peak. However, as great as I was feeling, there was no immediate outlet to channel my energy.
What do you do in a situation like this? Can you still quit your job the next day, simply believing you’ll find something?
If you decide to take this risk then you must master your energy.
To have an inspiring idea, you must be inspired. Release all of your doubts, fears and questions. Only then will you have the clarity of mind needed to discover an outlet for your inspiration.
It might take you a week, six months or even a year. However, if you remain inspired, regardless of what’s going on around you, a path will emerge.
It’s also important to realise this path might not lead you into a new career or business idea. It may simply lead you to travel. Or, perhaps, like Gregory Howe, author of the book Chasing Points, it might encourage you to set out on a new adventure – aged 34 he decided to quit his job as a school teacher and pursue his long cherished dream of becoming a world ranked tennis professional.
Whatever the case, the longer you remain inspired, the greater the chance you’ll discover an outlet to support you in a way that brings excitement and meaning. New acquaintances that lead to inspiring work can be made while travelling. An adventure, even if unsuccessful, might develop the character and skills needed to be successful in another endeavour. (While Gregory Howe didn’t become a regular fixture on the professional tour, he was able to write a book about his experiences and make money through the sales).
Inspiration is the source through which all of your great ideas flow. Therefore, don’t worry about the temporary loss of income caused by quitting your job. Instead, do whatever it takes to stay inspired and see where the path leads you.
Conclusion
I don’t want to tell you what to do. Afterall, everybody’s situation is different and I couldn’t possible know your circumstances. At best, all I can do is share my experiences with you and hope that something strikes a chord.
Despite my enthusiasm, I didn’t follow my inspiration all the way to the life of my dreams. Sometimes, I ignored it and made decisions based on what I believed were financial necessities at the time. As a result, I can’t say with any certainty what would have happened on that day, twenty years ago, if I’d refused to do anything that didn’t inspire me and lived in accordance with my heart. However, having lived a semi-inspired life since then, I can offer you some insights.
I don’t think basing all of your decisions on what inspires you is a recipe for disaster. In fact, the penalties for doing so are more psychological than real. Unless your dream requires you to put your life on the line, or take long term risks with your health, there is nothing to fear.
What are the consequences of starting a new business and failing?
You might lose a substantial amount of money. As a result of this, you might have to move back in with your parents. You won’t be able to buy the things you like or go on vacation. Savings you were setting aside for your first home may have gone.
While all of these outcomes are undesirable, none of them are life threatening.
Let’s look at another scenario.
What are the consequences of pursuing your dream of being a successful actor and failing?
Again, you might lose some of your savings while you support yourself on this adventure. Furthermore, for the five or so years you were trying to make it as an actor, other areas of your life, like relationships, may fail to advance. Then again, perhaps you’ve met some fantastic people on your journey and fallen in love.
Certainly, you’ll have fallen behind your peers in mainstream work. If you were to now re-enter, you might have to bear the indignity of them being in senior positions to you.
Again, I ask you, are any of these consequences life threatening?
No, none of them are. The money can be recouped and the relationships rekindled. The only damage you might suffer is to your self-esteem and this can be protected. Furthermore, surely, you’d feel better about yourself for having tried? Theodore Roosevelt once said,
“The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again . . .
who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at best in the end knows the triumph of high achievement, and at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”
and I agree. The worst-case scenario is that you get to the end of your life and regret never having followed your heart.
Therefore, you have two options.
You can be like me, adopting a ‘dip your toe in the water’ approach to following your inspiration and take years upon years to be successful.
Or, you can plunge straight in, run the risk of enduring some scary moments and trying times, but potentially transform your life in a matter of a few years.
The choice is yours. Just don’t spend your life playing it safe, never having known what it feels like to be alive.
(image taken from LeonH photostream flickr.com)
How Strong is your Will to Survive?
My Grandma died last month. She was one hundred and one, 2 months shy of her one hundred and second birthday.
Over the years, I watched her pass through the various stages of deterioration. Amazingly, she was still walking and completely independent up until the age of 96. At that point, she had a fall, lost her confidence and, from then on, relied on a walking frame.
Despite this setback, she fought to maintain her independence and remained in her home until she reached her 100th birthday. She then moved into a local care home.
While in the care home, she still battled away. I visited her 3 times a year (my mum would make the journey to Yorkshire monthly). Throughout this time, her spirits remained high. She had little to do, as she spent more and more time in her chair, but she was always happy to see us and her mind was focused on living. Even as her eyesight began to fail, and she could no longer watch TV or read, she was still, largely, positive.
Then, after a visit from her new born great grandson, she started to weaken. She reported feeling tired and a couple of weeks after that, lost the ability to swallow.
This was the beginning of the end. At that age, no intravenous fluids are administered and the human body typically lasts no more than three to four days without water.
She lasted five.
I was with her two days before she passed. Despite being laid out in bed, unable to see, eat or drink, she still fought on. I heard the continual cycle of shallow gasps, followed by about five minutes of regular breathing, and wondered what she was living for?
Why did she hold on?
Keep Fighting
My Grandma always had a strong survival instinct. She never talked about death. She didn’t even talk about getting old. She just wanted to live.
At times, I wondered why.
During her final year, her quality of life was negligible. In fact, it had been diminishing ever since she’d had the fall aged 96. She had very little to do (being immobile) and very little stimulation. Human contact was all she had. My mum visited regularly and so did a couple of local friends.
That being said, she still spent a large amount of time on her own, in a bedroom, with only the noise of the TV to entertain her.
‘What kind of life is this?’ I thought, when I visited her the time before last. ‘Why doesn’t she just give up and let go? I would in a similar situation.’
However, now, I’m not so sure. Being with my Grandma in her final few days filled me with a huge sense of admiration. She had nothing to live for yet kept on fighting.
The family theory was that she’d been living to meet her great grandson and, once she’d done this, she gave up. I disagreed. While she was undoubtedly looking forwards to meeting Arlo, and it certainly gave her something to live for, there just simply wasn’t any quit in her. Life had to be taken.
Of course, in the end, it was. Even the people with the strongest survival instincts will eventually have their light extinguished. However, this isn’t the point.
We need to focus on the lessons these fighters can teach us. Why do they cling to life so desperately?
Is this all we’ve got?
You may not like my answer and, secretly, I hope it’s wrong. Watching my Grandma cling to life so desperately, when she seemed to have nothing to live for, made me think this is all we’ve got!
No heaven or hell or afterlife or spiritual dimensions. When that mortal light goes out, that’s it. Game over. We cease to exist in any shape or form.
Perhaps, subconsciously, we know this. We know there’s nothing else and that’s why we place such a high value on survival, even when our lives are shitty.
Of course, you may point to suicide – the number one killer of men in England and Wales between the ages of 20 and 49 – and claim it shoots down my theory.
Maybe so. Then again, people who voluntarily kill themselves would almost certainly be categorised as mentally ill and, therefore, not acting in their right mind.
Whatever the case, it’s clear the desire to survive has a lot to do with not wanting to lose the gift of life.
I understand this. When you stop to think about it, life is magical.
You get to wake in the morning, see a brilliant sunrise and listen to the birds sing. As I write this, the sun is descending and there’s a majestic red hue to the blue sky. Sights like these are precious. Still, they only represent the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the experiences life offers.
What about love? You can have an amazing spiritual and physical connection with another being which makes you feel alive in ways you never imagined possible.
What about creation? Whether it’s a child, a book, a product or a project, you get to create something that might have an inspiring impact on another person.
And what about the arts and sports? You get to listen to music which moves your soul, watch films that inspire and connect with a deeper part of your being and see paintings that transport you to another place and time. Then, you get to move your body in incredible ways, overcome challenges and feel the thrill of succeeding.
Furthermore, you get to explore. You get to discover the richness of life on earth, taking in all the spectacular scenes, smells and people.
Finally, what about being? Without any stimulus at all, you can still experience those quiet, still moments and feel connected to life.
When faced with oblivion, I could see why someone would want to cling to this with everything they’ve got.
Final Thoughts
My purpose in writing this is not to challenge your hopes or beliefs in an afterlife. It may well exist. Instead, my intention is to get you to appreciate the magic of being alive.
If this is all we’ve got, then you must make the most of it. Give more than ever, both of your talents and help when it’s needed. Dare to go for what you want. Fearlessly explore the avenues that could lead to greater love, freedom and expression. Appreciate each breath you take, each meal you eat and every sunset or full moon you see. Recognise it for the gift it is.
And, above all, don’t waste your time. Don’t spend your life doing things that make you unhappy. Don’t get distracted by mindless TV, trivia, social media or the internet. Don’t allow anxiety to take residence in your mind and prevent you from experiencing life to the fullest.
Live as much as you can. Get as much as you can out of life. Cling to it with every breath you have.
This is the lesson I took from witnessing my Grandma in her final few days. It reminded me of the Dylan Thomas poem ‘Do Not go Gentle into that Good night’. I don’t know whether my Grandma was a fan, but, somehow, it seems relevant.
“Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rage at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they,
Do not go gentle into that good night.”
My Mum read a eulogy at my Grandma’s funeral. Towards the end, she talked about the lessons she’d learned from her. With this being a personal development website, I thought it appropriate to end with them,
“Stay active, have an enquiring mind, take on new hobbies, never think of yourself as old and never leave the house without make up!!”
IN LOVING MEMORY OF JOYCE THOMPSON, 22ND NOVEMBER 1916 – 12TH SEPTEMBER 2018
(Picture n1: Taken circa 2002, me and my Grandma.)
(Picture n2: Taken in Northallerton, North Yorkshire on the morning of my Grandma’s funeral. In the background are the Hambleton Hills, her birthplace.)
Why you Shouldn’t Give up on your Dreams
I was talking to one of my tennis students today about her interest in drama and singing. I suggested she might want to pursue it professionally when she left school or university.
Her response was that it would never work. Apparently, to make a career as an actress you have to be incredibly lucky. She also mentioned that most people performing in West End shows are barely able to make a living.
I was disappointed to hear this. I don’t know how passionate she is about acting (I know she likes it a lot), so I don’t want to presume that it’s her dream. However, I was more disappointed to hear that a 15 year old already had this kind of belief system.
Where did she get it from?
At a guess, possibly parents and friends, most likely from fellow students or teachers at her drama class and receiving rejections from auditions. All of these voices and experiences, when delivered from figures of authority we’ve been taught to respect, bypass the critical, reasoning faculty of our mind and form limiting beliefs in our subconscious. We accept them as The Truth, but do we ever take time to analyse or attempt to discredit them?
The conversation reminded me of my own thinking when I was 22. At the time, I wanted to write a best selling personal development book but all I heard from my parents, another author and the media (reading magazine articles/writers’ handbook), was that this was an impossibility. There was no money in being an author, apparently. Furthermore, the chances of getting published were so remote it wasn’t even worth trying. Basically, it was down to luck. It was a total shot in the dark, so did I really want to invest all that time on something that might never work out?
Unfortunately, I believed these voices. I accepted them as The Truth. Whenever I contemplated my dream of becoming a best selling personal development author, a subconscious feeling of embarking on an impossible journey was triggered.
However, I persisted. I imagined my life as lawyer, accountant, working in a corporation etc as being so dull and out of sync with who I was, I reasoned that I may as well go for my crazy dream. What did I have to lose?
Many years later, I can see how that initial belief held me back. I never threw myself into my dream with the vigor that might have enabled me to be successful.
I don’t have that belief anymore. By challenging it, I can see there are a lot of grey areas when it comes to achieving a dream society declares impossible or dependent on luck. Here are some of them;
1. Almost everybody accepts the conventional way of thinking. They also believe the chances of achieving a ‘crazy dream’ are minuscule. This is actually to your advantage. It means that, if you persist, most of your competition is going to drop out, so the competition for places is not as intense as you think.
2. Although you may not achieve your dream, you can still make a living from it. Aim for the moon and you may hit a star, right? Although this quote makes zero cosmological sense, you get the idea. Despite what The System would have you believe, achieving a crazy dream isn’t always black and white. You might fail to becoming a best selling author or star in Hollywood films, but you might sell enough copies of your book to get by or land enough acting roles on TV or the stage to make it work. Isn’t that good enough? Sure, you’d rather accomplish the goal you set out to achieve, but it beats a load of other alternatives.
3. Luck isn’t necessary. Your own hard work will forge a path. When you challenge a system held truth (nobody makes money as an author, being a professional actress is all about luck), and PROVE to yourself that it isn’t, it messes with your head (in a good way). You discover that the world doesn’t work in the way you were led to believe. Your hard work and clarity of purpose, DOES make a tangible impact. As Steve Jobs said,
“The minute you understand that you can poke life and something will pop out the other side, that you can change it, you can mold it, that’s maybe the most important thing. To shake off this erroneous notion that life is there and you’re just gonna live in it.”
However, to get to this place, you have to challenge accepted beliefs. If you’re never take this step, the world will always conform to the way it’s been presented to you.
(Image taken from Deneb Catalan photostream flickr.com)
What to do if You’re Thinking About Giving Up on Your Dream
Yet another failure! As I checked the sign ups to my newsletter, my heart sank.
I’d heard good things about Facebook Ads. Authorities I respected said they were a great way to gain exposure and increase your following. Of course, you had to pay, but I didn’t mind as long as I saw a return.
That was the problem, though, there were no returns. Despite paying close to £500 on filming a video, editing and the ads themselves, I received no more than a handful of subscribers to my website. Yet another failure.
Of course, on its own, this failure was not catastrophic. However, when it’s the tip of a humongous iceberg, that stretches back 16 years, it’s hard to process.
It reminds me of a time, back in 2003, when I was struggling to get tennis coaching clients and wasn’t sure if I could make enough money to continue working.
It reminds me of a time, back in 2005, when I was spending money on advertising, to build awareness for my new hypnotherapy business, and nothing seemed to work.
It reminds me of my early and mid-twenties when I couldn’t get a date. No matter how many girls I asked, or what tactic or approach I used, nobody was interested.
And this mentions nothing of the struggles I’ve experienced attempting to become a personal development author and speaker. I had to rewrite my book four times, as I learned to gather and present my thoughts in a coherent fashion.
Even when the book was published, the failures continued. The next 6 years saw setback after setback as I attempted to learn the steps to building a brand and promoting my work.
Of course, it hasn’t all been doom and gloom. Over the years, there have been many successes. I got enough tennis coaching and hypnotherapy clients to build a successful business. I found the love of my life. Many copies of my book have been sold and I’ve received a lot of satisfying feedback on my work. However, my recent experience with Facebook Ads reminded me of those moments during my twenties when I just wanted to give up.
I’m sure I’m not alone in feeling this way. Many of you reading this will have had similar experiences. There’s something you want to do with your life, something you care about so much, yet no matter how hard you work and no matter what strategy you try, all you’re met with is a closed door.
Sounds familiar?
Well, if that’s the case, then I want to share something with you. I want to give you the strategy and reasoning process that got me through. I’m going to explain the dilemma you face, what your options are and help you understand what to do in these testing moments.
The Options
When considering giving up on your dreams, the first thing to understand is that your options are limited. You only have two (although there are sub-divisions within these options). They are,
Stick at what you’re doing.
Or,
Return to The System’s Path.
Unless home schooled (and even then, it’s difficult to completely escape its influence), you will have walked The System’s Path. It begins when you’re taught about the importance of getting good grades. These, you are told, will help you get into University. Once at University, you then have to get a good degree – life’s golden ticket and the route through which you secure a ‘good job’.
Once you get this job, though, the chase isn’t over. You must now pursue promotion after promotion, hoping you can earn enough money to retire early and wait to die in relative comfort.
Even if you don’t go the University route, you’re still indoctrinated on the importance of earning money. You have to trade your time for financial reward. It doesn’t matter how you do it (as long as it doesn’t break the law), and the subject of whether you enjoy it is irrelevant, but you must be able to provide for yourself.
This is The System’s Path. Most people begrudgingly accept it because a) they believe there is no feasible alternative or b) they’re afraid to challenge what so many people accept. However, when you leave the education system, you’re presented with a unique opportunity.
For the first time in your life, you can start walking your own path. A rare few grasp this opportunity immediately. Some do so in their 20s, after they’ve left University or are frustrated with a few years spent in the world of work. Finally, some make the brave decision later in life when they have the responsibilities of paying a mortgage and supporting a family.
Undoubtedly, some of you have also taken advantage of this opportunity. You’ve identified a passion and made inroads into earning a living from this project. However, as is inevitable on this journey, you’ve encountered failures and difficulties and now you’re questioning the validity of your decision.
What do you do?
The situation is serious. Your project hasn’t been as successful as you anticipated and now you’re faced with the pressing needs of making money and avoiding the heartache of continual failure.
In such moments, you consider returning to The System’s Path. You tell yourself you could get a regular job. This would remove all your financial concerns and help avoid the challenge of continually having to grow.
Also, you wouldn’t have to put up with the stress of thinking for yourself. Just do what everybody else does. Clock in. Work. Go home. Get drunk at the weekends. Or, watch TV. Go shopping or use the few free hours a week you have to take part in your hobby. Just focus entirely on your children and forget about yourself. It’s not a bad life. You’re not in pain (yet). You just have to put up with some boredom and stress.
But is this a long-term solution?
Yes, it may alleviate your immediate financial concerns but, six months down the line, will the symptoms that caused you to break free from The System’s Path not return?
Will the restlessness not re-emerge? Will the feeling that you could be doing so much more with your life not begin to haunt you again?
It’s likely it will.
So, I ask you again, what can you do?
You appear trapped between a rock and a hard place. Continuing to pursue your dream presents further, almost unendurable, financial and emotional hardship. Returning to The System’s Path only presents a short-term solution.
To answer this question and find a solution to your dilemma, you must gain a deeper understanding of what you really seek.
Listen to your Heart
Moments of desperation, brought about by repeated faiIure, create a vortex. The trivia of day to day life disappears as you gain clarity on the bigger picture. In these moments, you’re closer to your source of guidance.
Go deep inside your mind. Slow everything down. Notice your breathing. Now ask yourself, ‘what is my heart telling my to do? What do I know is right?’
Your hearts response will always be to follow its deepest calling. Behind the object of your quest (to sell a million copies of your book, to have your product on the shelves of major retailers across the world, to win a contest) is the desire to express yourself, to give and receive love and to realise your potential. In short, to be complete.
This is what you need to remember.
Then, you need to ask yourself a powerful question, ‘can this be achieved through walking The System’s Path?’
With the daily sacrifice of your inspiration and conscience this entails, the answer is, ‘no’.
Then, you need to ask yourself another question, ‘is the dream I’m currently attempting to achieve the vehicle through which I’ll become complete?’
Don’t expect an immediate answer. Instead, it will be revealed with time. You’ll have to return to your present quest, pick up the pieces and continue along your journey.
If it’s not the correct path, you’ll begin to see signs. Others ideas will present themselves to you. Ways of achieving your dream in a manner you hadn’t anticipated will become apparent. (For example, I genuinely thought I’d only need to release one book to become a best-selling self-help author. I now realise that I’ll need a whole series.)
Remember this golden rule – you only give up on your dream when you find something more inspiring.
If you do, be flexible. Be open to what your heart is telling you. It can be hard to walk away from a project when you’ve put so much into it but you rarely leave with nothing. The lessons you’ve learned, the skills you’ve developed and the character you’ve built, will go with you into the next one and ensure your success.
Martin Luther King used this technique for guidance when doubting his path as leader of the civil rights movement during the 60s. He faced death threats, jail time, physical harm and the opposition of state governments and local police forces. In a candid passage from his autobiography, he describes the exact process he went through when considering giving up on his dream,
“I got out of bed and began to walk the floor. I had heard these things before [referring to a death threat he’d just received over the phone], but for some reason that night it got to me. I turned over and over and tried to go to sleep, but I couldn’t sleep. I was frustrated, bewildered, and then I got up. Finally I went to the kitchen and heated a pot of coffee. I was ready to give up. . .
With my head in my hands, I bowed over the kitchen table and began to pray aloud. The words I spoke to God that midnight are still vivid in my memory:
“Lord, I’m down here trying to do what’s right. I am here taking a stand for what I believe is right. But Lord, I must confess that I am weak now, I’m faultering. I’m losing my courage . . .”
At this point it seemed as though I could hear the quiet assurance of an inner voice saying: “Martin Luther, stand up for righteousness. Stand up for justice. Stand up for truth. And lo, I will be with you. Even until the end of the world.”
I’ll leave you by paraphrasing Martin Luther’s message – live for what you believe is right. Stand up for what you love. The Universe will be with you, guiding you to where it wants you to be.
How your Mind is being Controlled and What you need to do to Stop it
Did you know that you only have 5% conscious control over your daily actions and decisions?
The other 95%, according to neuroscientists, is determined by your subconscious programming. This means that when you choose what to eat, perform in a presentation, compete in a contest, sleep at night and interact with loved ones, you have very little direct scope to influence the outcome.
Instead, what occurs is decided by your subconscious programming. This is determined by years of repeating certain actions (e.g. practising a musical instrument), behaviour (e.g. always choosing fatty foods) and also the beliefs you’ve adopted about yourself and the world.
There’s a problem with this 5%/95% balance. So that you don’t have to learn important skills and, even language, from scratch every time you engage in a task, you have evolved to run mainly on autopilot. However, it’s likely you’ve had little influence over part of the programming that controls you when in this mode.
Of course, you can repeat actions over and over and, thereby, learn a skill, but the proficiency with which you use that skill will be determined by your beliefs. Most of these beliefs (unless you are an exceptionally conscious being and have been since early childhood) will have seeped into your programming unconsciously.
Consider The System we’ve been raised in and you’ll see why this is a problem. We’ve been taught that so much is impossible and that we have weaknesses and limits. Furthermore, we receive conditioning through the various influential figures in our lives – parents, teachers, bosses, popular people we want to impress, girlfriends or boyfriends, religious leaders, therapists – who comment on our ability and worth. If their influence is strong enough, then we’ll believe what they say, whether their comments are true or false, positive or negative.
I hope the picture’s getting clearer. A person running largely on autopilot, receiving a large amount of negative environmental conditioning, over which (especially at a young age), they have little ability to filter out, ends up feeling powerless and frustrated.
Have you ever felt like this?
If so then I want you to know you’re not a victim to chance, God or genetics. Furthermore, your life isn’t doomed to play out the way it always has. There is a means to unlocking your potential and living the life you want but you need to be aware of The System’s manipulation.
In this article, I’m going to explain the ceiling it imposes on you and show you how to break free. For if a lack of understanding about the power of belief can shrink your opportunities, then clarity will open the gates to a life beyond your wildest dreams.
How Powerful is The Power of Belief?
The placebo effect provides the most compelling evidence of the power of belief. Throughout medical history, there are numerous documented cases of patients reporting healings, or that their symptoms have disappeared, after treatment with ‘fake drugs’ and, even, ‘fake surgery’. Of course, the patient doesn’t know this at the time. They believe they are the recipient of the correct medical intervention and respond as if it is so.
Take an example from the 2002 New England Journal of Medicine. In this case, prominent knee surgeon Dr Bruce Moseley, conducted an experiment on three groups of patients, all of whom experienced osteoarthritis of the knee.
Dr Mosely had enjoyed great success with his previous surgeries and wanted to discover exactly which part of the procedure was effective. Therefore, with the first control group, he shaved the damaged cartilage in the knee. In the second, he flushed out the knee joint, removing material thought to be causing inflammation. With the final group, he did nothing. He performed a fake surgery, making the standard incisions but carrying out no medical procedure. Of course, the final group were led to believe they’d received ground-breaking surgery and were put on the same postoperative care program as the other two.
The outcome?
The third groups knee conditions improved to the same level as the first two!
Take a moment to let that sink in. It means that belief played just as powerful a healing role as surgery.
Can your mind fathom that?
The System we’re raised in teaches us that physical injury or illness needs a physical cure. We’re like machines. If one part doesn’t work then you take it out, either replacing it with a new one or removing altogether.
Yet here we have an example proving there’s a force beyond the physical that also plays a role in healing. The mind, if convinced of the truth, can compel the body to produce a healing effect.
With this kind of power, what else do you think it could do (or more pertinently, prevent you from doing) if manipulated or harnessed in the correct way?
Let’s explore that question.
The above example was taken from a book called, The Biology of Belief, written by Dr Bruce Lipton. Further on, he provides another fascinating example but this time concerning the power of a nocebo – the reverse of the placebo effect where a suggestion or diagnosis causes illness when there was no physical cause.
In this example, a patient called Sam Londe was treated for a believed case of esophageal cancer. At the time (1974), the medical establishment believed this form of the disease to be fatal. Nothing could be done but ease the patients suffering and prolong their life before an inevitable death. His Doctor, Clifton Meador, treated him with this belief, and although initially helped Londe, was certain that the cancer would return.
Sadly, there were no surprises or miracle healings in this example. Londe died a few weeks after his diagnosis. However, there was a big surprise when the results of the autopsy were revealed.
It turned out that Londe had very little cancer in his body. There were a couple of spots on the liver, and one on the lung, but not enough to kill him. Furthermore, there was no trace of the esophageal cancer that was believed to be the cause of his death. Dr Meador told the Discovery Channel, ‘He died with cancer, but not from cancer.’
So, what killed him?
We can only conclude that it was the power of belief. The Doctor, an influential and powerful figure in society, presented Londe with a diagnosis that was not true. However, because of his status, Londe had not thought to question the Doctor’s diagnosis and instead, accepted it for the truth.
What followed was Londe’s death. Although there was not enough cancer present in his body to kill him, he’d developed a belief that there was. Due to this programming, his body was compelled (via the 5%/95% mechanism) to act upon this belief.
I’ve included these two examples in a deliberate attempt to blow your mind. I want you to understand the role the power of belief can play in your life, often without you realising it. I believe The System, either accidently or deliberately, uses the power of belief to blind you from how amazing life could be, both for you individually, and humanity.
Set the Elephant Free
Another reason for the second examples inclusion was to demonstrate the power we accredit the people The System considers influential. Do you think that if a friend told Sam Londe he had esophageal cancer and, therefore, had no chance of recovery, then his body would have responded in the same manner?
It’s unlikely. It was because the role of Doctor is so respected in our society, and seen as a keeper of knowledge that ordinary mortals do not possess, that his suggestion about the terminal nature of the cancer carried so much weight.
When you consider that Doctors are just one of many influential figures our system ascribes a significant influence over our minds, you begin to see the extent of the problem. When these voices combine, telling us how the world is, and what our opportunities are within it, a model of our possibilities is created in our minds. And much like the diagnosis the Doctor gave Sam Londe, this model shuts us down.
We no longer need the nine tenths of our brain we famously don’t access because, apparently, our possibilities are so limited. In fact, we hardly need anything at all to function in The System’s world. Just work hard and comply. Our creativity, innovation, imagination, personality and uniqueness have no purpose because we’ve been led to believe that a world where our dreams come true is pure fantasy.
So, how do you free yourself from The System’s manipulation and harness the power of belief so you can do whatever you want with your life?
This story, taken from Brett Moran’s book, Wake The F#ck Up, will point you in the right direction,
‘In Southeast Asia, elephants are still used for transportation. At the end of each day, the elephant handlers prevent them from running away by looping a thin piece of rope around one of their legs and attaching it to the ground using a small stick. Do you think the elephants, capable of moving massive loads, couldn’t simply pull out the stick and do a runner? Of course they could, so why don’t they?
When the Elephants are young they are restrained by hefty ropes and no matter how hard they struggle and pull they can’t escape. Over time they give up fighting and by the time they reach adulthood they have been conditioned to believe they can’t move when they’re tied up, even though the smallest of tugs would set them free.’
You are the elephant; wise, mighty and powerful.
Realise this, pull your rope out of the ground and do whatever the hell you want!
(image taken from DavidBlackwell stream flickr.com)
1 Weird Hack that will Massively Increase your Motivation
Do you believe in time travel?
I do!
Not in a ‘Back to the Future’ sense of the word (although wouldn’t that be cool), but I do believe in our ability to go back into our minds and memories and relive experiences from the past.
Some of you will know that, when I’m not running this website and promoting my book, I work as a hypnotherapist. One of the techniques I trained in is called Time Line Therapy.
This technique, created by NLP Master Trainer Tad James, asks the client to go back through their memories to a significant emotional event connected with the problem state they are experiencing in the present. For example, a person terrified of public speaking might go back to a humiliating childhood memory, of being laughed at, while trying to speak in front of a class at school.
They are then asked, ‘What’s the one learning that the you now, would tell the you back then, that were they to live it, would completely free them from this feeling of X (whatever the problem state might be)?’ If the client successfully embraces this learning, their subconscious is then updated and they are freed from an emotion that has been holding them back for years.
This is a simplified explanation of Time Line Therapy (and if you want a more detailed idea of how it works then watch this video of Tad James in action) but the point is that, through our minds, time travel is possible.
If you can get into a relaxed enough state, and focus clearly on a powerful memory from the past, after a while, you will be drawn deeply into that memory so that it begins to feel real.
You then have two options. You can just enjoy, or experience (if it’s a bad one), the memory. Or, you can use the Time Line Therapy question above and try to work out what you needed in order to successfully progress through what you were experiencing.
I’ve been using this hack a lot lately with some amazing results. I wander back in my mind to some key moments in my development, centered around the time when I first started getting intuitions about what I felt was my life’s purpose, and then ask this question, ‘What would I have done back then if I’d had the knowledge that I now possess?’
You see, back then, I wasn’t the person that I am now. Although I had this embryonic dream of writing a best-selling personal development book, it was also one of the darkest times in my life (I was 22 at the time and had just finished University).
I was lost and full of self-doubt. On top of that, I had these doubts echoed to me on a daily basis by careers advisers, parents and an environment of lack (lack of supportive friends, lack of my own money, lack of any contacts or ideas on how to break into the personal development industry).
As a result, my progress was incredibly slow. It was a case of one step forward, nine tenths of a step back. I doubted every decision (or proposed decision) I made and had to test the water with everything I did (rather than diving straight in, learning from my mistakes, and making progress).
With this approach, it’s hardly a surprise that the meteoric rise to the top I frequently imagined, never occurred.
But it could have done! And this is the point.
If only I’d known back then, what I know now, my progress would have been so much quicker. If I’d approached my dream with the energy that I now possess, I could have halved the time which I took to achieve it.
I don’t want you to fall into the same trap as you advance in the quest to live your dreams.
My problem was self-doubt but there could be any one (or more) of an array of problem states that currently block or slow your path. How can you tackle them?
As crazy as it sounds, by using the technique above!
Altering the Course of Your History
Right now, I want you to recall a pivotal time in your life, when you had the opportunity to make significant progress or alter the course of your life in a positive way, yet you didn’t take full advantage of it.
Drift back into the memory. Focus on where you were and what you could see. Remember the possibilities and excitement of the time. Try and recall what you were doing. You’re looking for a specific memory. The more you focus on it, the more real it will feel. Close your eyes if it helps (it probably will!).
Now ask yourself this question, ‘What would I have done back then if I had the knowledge that I now possess?’
Now see yourself doing it. Rewrite your own history and feel the excitement of putting that knowledge into action.
Then, once you’ve immersed yourself in the experience, write down your answer.
For help doing this, read the following example. It’s taken from my ‘success diary’, that I’ve been keeping since September 2002, and is an account of me going through the process outlined above.
The entry for the 1st May 2016 reads as follows:
The event I was thinking about last night was from May 2002. A month away from finishing at Manchester University, I was in the Library on the first or second floor, staring out of the window pondering my future. I was starting to feel alive again after having spent the last 3 years in another time and place. The power of my dream was calling me and I could feel the excitement of its possibilities. However, I didn’t throw myself into it wholeheartedly. There was too much doubt, delay and confusion in my mind.
If only, if only I could go back there now. I would attack my dreams full tilt. I’d have knuckled down and written my book [referring to what was to become Escape The System] in 6 months. It wouldn’t have been perfect but at least I’d have had something. I’d then have started promoting myself by starting up groups and perhaps gained a life coaching qualification. Then, as my skills developed, and my writing became more refined, I’d have got a publishing deal by 2006.
I’ve got to stop there because it’s pointless saying what I would have done. I can’t go back. All I’ve got is now. And as of today, I must approach my dream full tilt. Risk everything and don’t hold back. I can’t do anything about 2002, but, sure as hell, I can do something about today. Throw yourself into it. If these 14 years have taught me one thing, it’s that I never fail by taking risks to advance my dream. I fail when I delay and opportunities (and life) pass me by.
I highlighted my key learning (and answer to the question posed above) in bold. I’ve then taken that knowledge and lived it every day since the 1st May this year.
As a result, my motivation has increased immensely and I no longer fear cutting back on higher paying tennis coaching and hypnotherapy clients to make time to work on my greater, but less well paid (at the moment), dream of becoming a best-selling author. Experience has taught me that taking risks works and that removes any reservations I have about what I stand to lose. Therefore, my mind is clear and I’m free to act, certain in the knowledge that my actions will bring success.
Don’t Keep Repeating the Same Mistakes!
My learning demanded that I take greater risks and attack my dream with unrestrained energy.
What did yours teach you?
In whatever way you can, I urge you to apply that knowledge.
The increased motivation it provides is immense. How could it not be? Here you are, in exactly the same position as you were in the memory I asked you to recall (i.e. with an amazing opportunity to advance your life) but now you have the chance to benefit from your increased wisdom.
What could be more motivating or exciting?
You see, in some way, we do have the opportunity to go back and correct our mistakes from the past. We do it by taking on board the lessons they’ve taught us and then acting on them NOW.
(Image taken from Ape Lad photostream on flickr.com)
The 16 Things I Learned Working 20 Hours a Week Building a Business in 2015 (while still having a regular job)
I did it!!!!
That picture you see is me celebrating achieving my New Year’s resolution for 2015. At the start of the year, I set myself the goal of working on average 20 hours a week building my business, EVERY WEEK, for the whole year (while still working a regular job).
I’ve got to be honest, it was tough. It required a huge amount of discipline and a surprising amount of planning too. In the process, I learned a lot, both about myself, and what it takes to achieve your goals and New Year’s resolutions.
I will share these discoveries with you now. My hope is that it will give you the motivation to set and stick to your own New Year’s resolutions, the information on what to expect and the proof that it’s worthwhile.
And the lessons I’ve learned from this one year journey can be applied to any area. While my experiment focused on the benefits to building a business, these lessons will apply just as readily to someone looking lose weight, implement a regular exercise routine, enforce regular meditation or do anything on a consistent basis, throughout the year, while having multiple pressures on their time.
So basically, what I’m saying is, if you have a goal to achieve in 2016 then you need to read this!
Before we Start
Before we dive into the list, let me clarify a few things.
Firstly, when I say ‘building a business’, I’m referring to all work on my Screw the System project. This means blogging, updating my book, creating videos (here’s one related to this post), updating social media, attending and giving talks and coaching (not my hypnotherapy though).
Secondly, my ‘regular job’ is not regular (more on the relevance of this as we delve into the list). My main source of income is through tennis coaching and then hypnotherapy. I make a small amount of money (book sales) through the Screw the System project but it is certainly not enough to live on. (However, through the solid foundation I’ve built during 2015, I look to 2016 as the year I’ll earn half my income through StS).
Thirdly, I did not work 20 hours a week on building my business every week. It was an average. During the spring and summer it was more like 15 hours a week, while during the Autumn and Winter it got up to 25 hours and occasionally more.
To record my hours, I ticked a page in my diary (see pic) to keep up to date with my progress. On completing a block of 2 hours 45 minutes, I would tick that day off as complete.
Why did I choose 2 hours 45 minutes?
Add that up over 7 days and it comes to approximately 20 hours for the week. It was a figure inspired by reading an article on Jon Morrow’s site Boost Blog Traffic. He states that in order to create a successful blog (with a huge amount of traffic), you have to be prepared to put in 20 to 40 hours work a week for 4 to 6 years.
So, now you’ve got the background info, let’s get into the list.
1. THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN UTTERLY IMPOSSIBLE IF I’D WORKED A REGULAR JOB!
I have the upmost respect for anybody building a business, or creating a dream, whilst working a regular 9 to 5 job. I couldn’t do it!
We all know that a 9 to 5 is rarely a 9 to 5. When you include travel, and the strong likelihood you’ll be required to work overtime, you’ll probably be occupied from the hours of seven thirty in the morning to roughly seven thirty or eight at night. That gives you one quality hour a night to build your business (if you’re extremely motivated and don’t have any other interests) and means you’ll have to work 15 hours over the weekend.
As I said earlier, over a sustained period of time, there’s no way I could have done this (and I like to consider myself a highly motivated person).
2. DON’T UNDERESTIMATE THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING IN CHARGE OF YOUR TIME
The only way I could dedicate 20 hours a week to building my business, while working others jobs, was to be in complete control of my time. On average, throughout the year, my combined ‘regular job’ of tennis coaching and hypnotherapy probably occupied a little over 30 hours a week. However, I got to set my hours. Typically, I’d have every week day morning between the hours of 9 and 1 free to work on building my business.
This was probably the number one reason for me achieving my goal. Do not underestimate the importance of working less time and earning less money if it allows you to focus on something you consider to be your higher purpose!
3. THIS WOULDN’T HAVE BEEN POSSIBLE IF I’D TAKEN A VACATION!
For the whole of 2015, I never went abroad. I had about four weekends away either visiting my Grandma or going somewhere with my girlfriend. The rest of the time I was at home.
This may horrify some of you who work ‘regular jobs’ and use the thought of their next vacation as motivation to get through what can otherwise be a monotonous year. However, to paraphrase Seth Godin, when you’re living and creating ‘a life you don’t need to escape from’, you don’t really miss vacations.
4. I NEVER FELT ‘BURNT OUT’
Baring my few weekends away, I had no time off during 2015. I worked pretty consistently for 50 hours a week, EVERY week of the year. However, I never felt ‘burnt out’.
How could this be?
The simple answer is that all of my work inspires me. I don’t believe it’s hard work that makes you tired. It’s demotivating work that drains you. Working hard on something that inspires you makes you stronger.
5. I LOVE AND NEED MY SLEEP
I achieved this goal while regularly sleeping 8 hours a night (occasionally less, rarely more). I don’t believe that cutting down on sleep, or taking supplements so that you can work longer, is a route to greater productivity. Being fully alert and happy is the route to greater productivity, and over a sustained period of time, this can only be achieved by sleeping well.
6. I LOVE AND NEED MY EXERCISE
As is the case with number 5, this was something I wasn’t prepared to sacrifice. You can read about my exercise routine and why I feel it should never be sacrificed to the demands of a job here. I’m certain that my strict adherence to it was vital in recharging my mind and keeping me full of energy.
7. IT GOT EASIER AS THE YEAR WENT ON
This is something everybody who disciplines themselves to do something that, on occasions, they’d rather not do, experiences. There were times when I wanted to veg out and watch TV or browse the internet, but the more I forced myself to work, the more I enjoyed it.
It becomes a habit and this bodes well for anyone wanting to alter their eating habits, exercise more or cut out an addiction. Keep going because it gets easier.
8. IT WAS EASIER BECAUSE I KEPT TRACK OF MY PROGRESS
You’ve seen the picture of my diary above. This was a big big reason I completed my goal. I felt a huge wave of motivation every time I ticked a day off. It made me hungry for the next one.
9. PUTTING IN THE HOURS PAYS OFF
As a result of achieving this goal, I gained more subscribers in 2015 than I did in the previous two and a half years combined.
Previous to this year, the hours I put in were sporadic. I’d put in the odd 20 hours a week when I was working on something time sensitive, but then might only put in 5 hours a week when I was busy tennis coaching during the summer. Making sure there was never a time when I was putting in less than 15 hours a week this year was vital to maintaining my momentum. And as any sports person knows, momentum brings results.
10. PUTTING IN THE HOURS DOESN’T PAY OFF
Hard work alone doesn’t bring results. Although the jump in my subscriber rate was pleasing, my book sales didn’t match this growth and overall, I didn’t achieve the impact I’d hoped that amount of work would.
What’s the conclusion?
Smart work is essential. I wasted too much time messing around with social media when it could have been more effectively used writing guest posts for other sites.
11. SET YOURSELF MINI GOALS WITHIN THE TIME YOU WORK
This links to the concept of working smart. If you want to make the most out of a 2 hour time slot, then set yourself a task to achieve within that time frame. For example, I now insist on writing 300 publishable words per hour for any of my blog posts or books. It stops me daydreaming and made December of 2015 my most productive month by far.
12. PLANNING IS CRUCIAL TO ACHIEVING ANY GOAL
This was the biggest surprise to me. Working hard wasn’t the difficult part. Looking at my calendar and figuring out what ‘paid work’ I’d have to cancel, to fit in my hours, was. It was a constant juggling act. I didn’t want to piss off any of my tennis or hypnotherapy clients yet I knew that if I didn’t carefully manage my time, and say NO to extra work and social events, then I’d never achieve my goal
13. DISCIPLINE BEATS INSPIRATION EVERY TIME
I’ve tried the whole, ‘work when the inspiration hits you’ approach. Problem is, the inspiration doesn’t strike enough. It’s far better to have a set schedule for you business building work. If you’re feeling inspired, great; if not, well then at least you still get some work done.
14. RELATIONSHIPS WILL SUFFER UNLESS YOU’RE VERY VIGILANT
I’m close to my parents, have one girlfriend and three close friends. I don’t have time for anything more. I even worry that I don’t give enough time to these relationships – my girlfriend would certainly say so!But what’s success for? So that you can reach the top of the mountain and enjoy being there by yourself?
This is why, no matter what, you have to maintain your relationships and humanity. Sacrificing a friend in need for your own work is not an option. However, realise that you might come close to doing this on many occasions. Just be vigilant!
15. THERE ARE MORE IMPORTANT THINGS THAN MONEY
I could have earned an extra $20,000 this year if I focused solely on tennis coaching and hypnotherapy. Some of you may find it insane that I consider myself richer for having put that time to use building my business.
I believe time will prove this to be a worthy financial investment but it isn’t all about the money. The feedback I’ve received from some of you concerning the impact of my book and work has given me a sense of satisfaction I struggle to put into words. You don’t get to walk this higher path when financial concerns are the driving force behind your decisions.
16. ACHIEVING THIS GOAL WAS AN INCREDIBLE BOOST TO MY SELF-ESTEEM
Sitting here, writing this blog post in early 2016, I feel incredibly strong. Part of that comes from knowing I’m a person who can set himself a goal and achieve it. I feel good about myself and I want you to feel good about yourself too.
So find a goal for 2016 that has a deep personal meaning to you, and will benefit your life in some way, and set out on a mission to achieve it. Do not sway in your commitment, and do not compromise the goal for anything, and I guarantee that this time next year you will have been hugely enriched by the experience.