Tag: Personal Development
Revealing The Hidden Secret in Think and Grow Rich (and how to use the book)
Think and Grow Rich is one of the most popular self-help books of all time (some estimates point to sales of around 100 million copies).
In this blog post, I’m going to explore the most prescient ideas from the book and explain why, almost a century later, they still have the power to change your life.
First, we’re going to look at the DCA or Definite Chief Aim. Napoleon Hill (the author) believed everybody should have one and I’ll show you how to create, and use it, so you can realize your life’s purpose.
Then, I’ll explain the true value of Think and Grow Rich, breaking down Hill’s 12 Steps to Riches and explaining how to use each one in turn.
Finally, I’ll reveal The Secret to unlimited riches that Hill frequently refers to, but never explicitly states.
Creating your DCA
There are six steps to creating your Definite Chief Aim. Taken from the book, they are;
Step 1: Fix in your mind the exact amount of money you desire. It is not sufficient to say “I want plenty of money.” Be definite as to the amount.
Step 2: Determine exactly what you intend to give in return for the money you desire.
Step 3: Establish a definite date when you intend to possess the money you desire.
Step 4: Create a definite plan for carrying out your desire, and begin at once, whether you are ready or not, to put this plan into action.
Step 5: Write out a clear, concise statement of the amount of money you intend to acquire, name the time limit for its acquisition, state what you intend to give in return for the money, and describe clearly, the plan through which you intend to accumulate it.
Step 6: Read your statement out loud, twice daily, once just before retiring at night, and once after arising in the morning. As you read – see and feel and believe yourself already in possession of the money.
Let’s explore the implications of these 6 steps.
One of the key themes of Think and Grow Rich is definiteness of purpose. You must be certain about how much money you want. Therefore, when creating your DCA, you don’t use guestimates, hopes or wishes. Instead, set your figure with conviction.
How much money do you want?
For a moment, forget societies standards. This isn’t about being realistic. Instead, give your imagination free reign and be honest. How much money will it take for you to be financially free?
Whatever that figure might be (and be precise, down to the penny), write it down now.
Now, what are you going to do to achieve it?
You have to do something. Winning the lottery won’t cut it.
Do you know your life’s purpose?
If so, great. You already know the means through which you’ll generate your riches.
If you aren’t sure, then go with your best idea. Don’t over analyse. Right now, what’s the most inspiring way you can think of, that stands some chance of success, to make money?
Got that? Good, use it for your DCA (you can always choose something else further down the line if you find it more inspiring and there’s a greater chance you can make money from it).
When do you want to realize your DCA?
The importance of set dates, and an exact sum of money, is that it sends a clear message/instruction to your subconscious. The second section will reveal how important the subconscious is but, for now, know it can only help you, if you help it.
Giving yourself a lifetime to achieve your DCA will mean you won’t achieve it until it’s too late. However, if you instruct your subconscious that 10 or 5 years is the deadline, then it knows the urgency with which it needs to deliver the money-making ideas.
So, go ahead and create your DCA.
If you need a little help, here’s Bruce Lee’s, taken from the book Fighting Spirit,
“I, Bruce Lee, will be the first highest-paid Oriental superstar in the United States. In return I will give the most exciting performances and render the best quality in the capacity of an actor. Starting 1970, I will achieve world fame and from then onwards until the end of 1980 I will have in my possession $10,000,000. I will live the way I please and achieve inner harmony and peace.”
Bear in mind that his was written in 1969, before Fists of Fury or Enter the Dragon. At the time, Lee was an injured, out of work actor with mounting debts.
In his mind, however, he was a superstar and, what some might have called empty words, soon became his reality. Be bold.
The 12 Steps to Riches
Think and Grow Rich is not a wealth creating manual, it’s an idea generating manual. Don’t be fooled by the title. You won’t find any advice on investments or saving your money. However, what you will find, is a lot of information on how to access the ideas that are going to create your fortune.
Hill believes in an idea generating loop that looks like this. The conscious mind (if there is enough emotion behind your thoughts), can make an imprint on the subconscious. The subconscious mind shares a connection with The Infinite Intelligence (the source of all knowledge and creation). The Infinite Intelligence will send ideas back to you, in the form of hunches or flashes of inspiration, which are received through your creative imagination.
Sounds far-fetched, right?
It’s not.
I’ll use myself as an example. My DCA is to sell 1 million copies of my books and, because I’m passionate about this goal, I get hunches from The Infinite Intelligence. These hunches take the form of book ideas – I currently have six titles in the pipeline. However, it doesn’t end there.
The Infinite Intelligence also gives me ideas for where I might find opportunities to sell my books. For example, I had hunch that I should attend a YES Group meeting in London to listen to a speaker. While there, I bought his book, got chatting to him and found out which company published his work.
A month or so later, I emailed him, after reading and reviewing his book, and asked if he had any contacts at the company to whom I could submit a book proposal. He did, I did and, a year and half later, I had my own book deal.
Here are two very real things – book titles and a book deal – gained through ideas generated by The Infinite Intelligence. It works.
To ensure you can share in these wealth generating ideas, you must master Hill’s 12 Steps to Riches. They are as follows,
1. Desire – each day, think about what you want to achieve.
2. Faith – feel, and live, as if you’ve already achieved it.
3. Auto-Suggestion – programme your mind by reading your DCA and other affirmations or visualizations on a daily basis.
4. Specialized Knowledge – Become an expert at something. This will increase the quality of your ideas about the subject you intend to become rich through.
5. Imagination – Recognize a great idea when you have it.
6. Organized Planning – Each month, write a new plan on how to achieve your DCA.
7. Decision – Reach decisions quickly. A mind constantly wavering between two or more options doesn’t have the power to make a connection with The Infinite Intelligence.
8. Master Mind – An individual only has one connection with The Infinite Intelligence. A group of ten people, all with knowledge pertaining to the realization of your DCA, has ten connections. Take advantage of this and surround yourself with intelligent people willing to help you in a reciprocal relationship.
9. Sex Transmutation – Channel your sex drive. Take the motivation it creates and, instead of pursuing physical gratification, seek spiritual rewards through working on your DCA.
10. Subconscious Mind – See previous explanation.
11. The Brain – Your thoughts have power. However, it’s only the thoughts backed by deep emotion that will carry enough power to make a connection with other minds and The Infinite Intelligence.
12. The Sixth Sense – Follow steps one through eleven and The Infinite Intelligence will communicate with you through your sixth sense. Act upon these intuitions.
The Secret
Hill claims that a secret to infinite riches was passed onto him by Andrew Carnegie during their first meeting (the steel magnate gave Hill the idea for writing Think and Grow Rich). Although he spends most of the Introduction waxing lyrical about its importance, he never explicitly mentions what it is. Instead, he leaves clues, claiming it’s referred to one hundred times throughout the book and, at least, once in every chapter.
I’ve now read Think and Grow Rich three times. It was on my final reading that I finally deduced the meaning of the secret. Ironically, Hill gives it away in the first line of the first chapter when he writes, ‘truly, thoughts are things’. Furthermore, a quote included between chapters, in a later edition of the book, spells it out even more clearly.
Is this news to you?
Probably not. Essentially, it’s what’s become known as The Law of Attraction. Your thoughts, feelings and beliefs, whether you direct them consciously or not, attract the circumstances, events and outcomes of your life.
You should be EXCITED about this information. Right now, you’re being presented with a way to transform your life and create whatever it is you desire. Shouldn’t you be jumping up and down, celebrating in the knowledge that your life will be great from now on?
I bet you’re not!
I also think I know why you’re not. After all, The Law of Attraction isn’t really a law, is it? There’s no mainstream scientific study validating its’ claims. Furthermore, nobody outside the personal development world thinks this way. They all KNOW that events and outcomes are determined by chance and that only those lucky enough to be born with an amazing talent get to do something extraordinary with their life. For the rest of us, we just have to make do, accepting whatever role The System gives us.
But who wants to live like that?
Isn’t it worth experimenting with Napoleon Hill’s secret to see if there’s something in it? Why not give yourself six months to see if you can create some results by changing the way you think, feel and what you believe? If it doesn’t work out then you can go back to how you lived before.
But, what if, there happens to be something in this secret?
If it’s true, then you’ll never be the same again. This could be the moment you realize that YOU are the master of your destiny. You have the power to shape your reality through your connection with The Infinite Intelligence.
Surely this knowledge is worth far more than material riches.
(image taken from samhsloan@gmail.com photostream flickr.com)
The Uncomfortable Truth about “The Secret”
Last night, I watched The Secret on Netflix. Despite this movie/documentary being made in 2006, and despite me working in the personal development world, I’d never seen it before.
I’d heard a lot about it. I knew that it’d been a personal development phenomenon – selling 30 million copies of the book – and introducing a new audience to the self-help world. I also had a good idea what The Secret was about – hence me never watching or reading it. However, I was slightly sceptical.
I’d heard a lot of criticism about The Secret and The Law of Attraction. Pseudoscience or New Age nonsense is a label that’s commonly applied. I believed it was too simplistic. Miracles manifesting in a matter of months. It didn’t measure up with my experience of changing my life. However, despite all this, I was pleasantly surprised when watching the film.
My only criticism was the production of the documentary (and on a tight budget the producers can be forgiven for this). Some of it did come across as a little cheesy and dated and the ‘movie sections’ lacked polish, giving the film a ‘made for TV’ feel. However, Hollywood gloss isn’t the reason people are watching The Secret, so let’s explore its message.
The Law of Attraction gets a lot of criticism. The main gripe is that it isn’t really a scientific Law. Unlike The Law of Gravity or the speed of light etc. . it, SO FAR, it hasn’t been proved. Does this mean it lacks credibility? Furthermore, Is everything that can’t be proved by science worthless?
It’s interesting that, to my knowledge, The Law of Attraction hasn’t been disproved either. The fact is, it hasn’t been tested. Nobody has conducted a series of experiments to check the validity of its claims. Perhaps, and this is why we have no results or findings, we presently don’t have the technology to make any measurements. We can’t see the direct correlation between a raise in mood or energy and subsequent positive events occurring in a person’s life.
I’m sceptical of science. I don’t doubt that it’s discovered some amazing things about how our world works, and brought advances that have massively helped the cause of humanity. However, I don’t agree with the God like status that scientists, doctors etc. are granted in our society and I certainly don’t believe they know all the answers.
As an interesting aside, the speed of light isn’t actually a constant. Despite scientists telling us it’s fixed at 299 792 458 m / s, there’s a lot of evidence to suggests it varies. (Dr. Rupert Sheldrake talks about this in his book and talk ‘The Science Delusion’ if you want to conduct further research.)
Anyway, back to my point. Just because science hasn’t proved The Law of Attraction, doesn’t mean it’s without merit. The basic idea is that YOU attract the circumstances and conditions of your life through the way you think and feel. You have an energy or, vibrational frequency, and this is transmitted to the Universe which responds with the physical equivalent.
It’s both an interesting, and liberating, theory. It means that, through your thoughts and feelings, you can direct and shape your life in a way you desire. You can be happy, healthy, achieve all your goals and experience love. There is nothing stopping you apart from the mastery of this ‘law’.
I agree.
While The Law of Attraction can’t scientifically be described as a ‘law’; it operates close enough to this definition to be effective. I’ve turned my entire life around through changing my thoughts and feelings. On many occasions, which I’ve documented in a diary spanning 16 years, I’ve changed the outcome of a tennis match, my ability to attract women, injuries and my ability to help clients, through raising my energy. There was a direct correlation. Higher energy (better mood) = improved outcomes. I don’t need a scientist to tell me this. I’ve conducted my own experiments and proved it to myself.
The Secret gives an excellent and easily applied explanation of The Law of Attraction. Think about the outcome you desire as much as possible and feel how you would feel if this outcome came to pass. Furthermore, always think about what you want. If you ever catch yourself thinking about the things you don’t want, then immediately correct this thinking and redirect it towards to something positive.
The Uncomfortable Truth
A major criticism of The Secret is that it claims each individual is responsible for ALL the events and outcomes in their life. This means that if you have cancer or a failed relationship, or get fired from your job, it’s because of something you thought and felt for a sustained period of time.
This triggers a lot of people. It’s an uncomfortable truth that challenges their notion of being a blameless victim. ‘I don’t deserve this’ they say. It’s cruel.
To some extent, I agree. You would never say to someone who has just been diagnosed with a terminal illness, ‘you brought it on yourself.’ However, I think people who despise The Secret or The Law of Attraction for this reason are missing the point.
Rather than blaming you for what has happened, you’re being given the key to change and recover. The film documents two cases of people who have bounced back from life threatening situations by using The Law of Attraction. The first, is a lady who healed herself of breast cancer in 3 months. The second, is a man who recovered from a plane crash that broke his back and crushed his diaphragm.
So, rather than focusing on blame, think about responsibility. If you take total responsibility for all the events and circumstances in your life, irrespective of how bad they are, you can then start to move towards a solution.
Finally, the issue of time scales must be addressed. On this point, I am slightly critical of The Secret. In the film, the author Jack Cranfield talks about how he manifested a $100,000 income in a matter of months. It all seems so easy.
My experience has been anything but. I’ve struggled for 16 long years to turn my life around. I’ve been successful, but it’s been the fight of my life. To see people talking about realising their desires in less than half a year is difficult to comprehend.
Again, though, this could just be a fault in my approach. Notice how I use the words ‘struggle’ and ‘fight’ in my previous paragraph. The Law of Attraction indicates that if one believes they need to struggle and fight against their conditions then they’ll receive more of this experience. Perhaps my own slow progress is a result of the internal battle that has been raging inside me throughout this time. And, if I could just believe with greater clarity, then I’d have achieved my desires far more quickly.
I can accept this criticism. In fact, I want to believe it because of the opportunity it presents. If I can let go of the struggle, then the possibilities for rapid manifestation are very appealing.
In conclusion, I couldn’t find much to fault in The Secret. Yes, The Law of Attraction isn’t a bonafide scientific law, but that won’t stop it from working in your life. My advice is to USE IT!
Why you Shouldn’t Give up on your Dreams
I was talking to one of my tennis students today about her interest in drama and singing. I suggested she might want to pursue it professionally when she left school or university.
Her response was that it would never work. Apparently, to make a career as an actress you have to be incredibly lucky. She also mentioned that most people performing in West End shows are barely able to make a living.
I was disappointed to hear this. I don’t know how passionate she is about acting (I know she likes it a lot), so I don’t want to presume that it’s her dream. However, I was more disappointed to hear that a 15 year old already had this kind of belief system.
Where did she get it from?
At a guess, possibly parents and friends, most likely from fellow students or teachers at her drama class and receiving rejections from auditions. All of these voices and experiences, when delivered from figures of authority we’ve been taught to respect, bypass the critical, reasoning faculty of our mind and form limiting beliefs in our subconscious. We accept them as The Truth, but do we ever take time to analyse or attempt to discredit them?
The conversation reminded me of my own thinking when I was 22. At the time, I wanted to write a best selling personal development book but all I heard from my parents, another author and the media (reading magazine articles/writers’ handbook), was that this was an impossibility. There was no money in being an author, apparently. Furthermore, the chances of getting published were so remote it wasn’t even worth trying. Basically, it was down to luck. It was a total shot in the dark, so did I really want to invest all that time on something that might never work out?
Unfortunately, I believed these voices. I accepted them as The Truth. Whenever I contemplated my dream of becoming a best selling personal development author, a subconscious feeling of embarking on an impossible journey was triggered.
However, I persisted. I imagined my life as lawyer, accountant, working in a corporation etc as being so dull and out of sync with who I was, I reasoned that I may as well go for my crazy dream. What did I have to lose?
Many years later, I can see how that initial belief held me back. I never threw myself into my dream with the vigor that might have enabled me to be successful.
I don’t have that belief anymore. By challenging it, I can see there are a lot of grey areas when it comes to achieving a dream society declares impossible or dependent on luck. Here are some of them;
1. Almost everybody accepts the conventional way of thinking. They also believe the chances of achieving a ‘crazy dream’ are minuscule. This is actually to your advantage. It means that, if you persist, most of your competition is going to drop out, so the competition for places is not as intense as you think.
2. Although you may not achieve your dream, you can still make a living from it. Aim for the moon and you may hit a star, right? Although this quote makes zero cosmological sense, you get the idea. Despite what The System would have you believe, achieving a crazy dream isn’t always black and white. You might fail to becoming a best selling author or star in Hollywood films, but you might sell enough copies of your book to get by or land enough acting roles on TV or the stage to make it work. Isn’t that good enough? Sure, you’d rather accomplish the goal you set out to achieve, but it beats a load of other alternatives.
3. Luck isn’t necessary. Your own hard work will forge a path. When you challenge a system held truth (nobody makes money as an author, being a professional actress is all about luck), and PROVE to yourself that it isn’t, it messes with your head (in a good way). You discover that the world doesn’t work in the way you were led to believe. Your hard work and clarity of purpose, DOES make a tangible impact. As Steve Jobs said,
“The minute you understand that you can poke life and something will pop out the other side, that you can change it, you can mold it, that’s maybe the most important thing. To shake off this erroneous notion that life is there and you’re just gonna live in it.”
However, to get to this place, you have to challenge accepted beliefs. If you’re never take this step, the world will always conform to the way it’s been presented to you.
(Image taken from Deneb Catalan photostream flickr.com)
Can you Trust your Intuition?
In the film, Interstellar, Matthew McConaughey’s character travels to a dimension beyond normal human consciousness. In this realm (far out in space), he attempts to communicate with his daughter to warn her about the impending doom planet earth is facing. However, because the means of communication are so limited, he can only relay this message through grains of dust arranged in Morse code.
This got me thinking. What if our own ‘Higher Self’, inhabiting a different dimension, tried to communicate with us? In fact, could the hunches, intuitions and visions we spontaneously receive be exactly that?
The concept of the ‘Higher Self’ is interesting. This is the ‘us’ that’s realised our potential and lives a life in accordance with this ideal. There’s no grovelling to the weaker elements of our mind. No addiction, perpetual fear or acting from ego. Instead, the ‘Higher Self’ is brave enough to do what’s right and wise enough to realise what this means.
Now, combine this concept with the much discussed theory among quantum physicists about the possibility of there being multiple realities, and that the past and future may be occurring at the same time as the present, and you have the potential for some fascinating occurrences.
What if our ‘Higher Self’, inhabiting a different dimension (much like Matthew McConaughey’s character in Interstellar), is trying to communicate with us and share information that could alter the course of our present lives? What if they were trying to guide us to our ‘true path’?
What is Intuition?
My understanding of intuition is this. Intuition is not directed thought. I regularly take 5 or 10 minutes out of my day, either in a quiet room or a peaceful, scenic location, and turn my thoughts over to the contemplation of my dreams.
This is directed thought. I’m channelling my consciousness in the direction of something I want to achieve, with the intention of priming my subconscious to offer insights on how to attain it.
Intuition is something else entirely. In my experience, it strikes rarely and is spontaneous. Furthermore, it’s always accompanied by powerful emotions. It may leave you with a message regarding a course of action you should take or the person you should become. This flash of intuition might not last longer than a matter of moments, but the feeling it generates will be remembered for a lifetime.
To help you identify your own moments of intuition, read an of example of mine.
Last year, I attended a Live your Legend meet up in London. I’d spoken at this group the previous year, giving my ‘How to Escape The System’ talk. At the end of the evening, a lady who’d attended the talk and bought my book, came over and struck up a conversation. Much to my delight, she reported having read the book and said she ‘loved it‘. So much so, it contributed to her decision to move countries and pursue a new job.
Although this was far from the first time I’d received positive feedback on my work, for some reason, this particular conversation had a profound impact. I was left with the feeling I would achieve my lifetime goal of becoming a million selling personal development author. It was a certainty. So long as I continued to do the work, I’d get there. Therefore, no matter what was happening in my life – the length of time it took, being conscious of getting older, problems in my relationships, potential money difficulties – I had to stay focused on my goal and keep going.
This was the message communicated to me by my intuition. For the rest of the evening, I was in a state of elation. Over the next couple of days, the intensity of the feeling wore off. However, the experience stayed with me as a reminder whenever I doubt my path or lose focus.
This is just one example of my intuition. I’ve had similar experiences regarding love and relationships, what I should do about the feeling that I didn’t ‘fit in’ and my life purpose.
On each occasion, the moment of intuition happened to me rather than me creating it, typically being triggered by a stimulus in my environment. The insights I received were incredibly clear and communicated through a knowing or emotion (I didn’t hear voices).
Who can you Turn to for Life Guidance?
Hopefully, with the assistance of my example, you can begin to identify your own intuition. The issue then becomes one of trust. Can you rely on the revelation your intuition reveals?
This question is especially important when you consider the possibility your intuition might prompt you to pursue a course of action incompatible with the logical reality of The System you live in.
Should I be listening to the feeling telling me I can become a million selling author? Should you be listening to the feeling telling you to quit your job and attempt to launch your new business?
In my experience, the answer is ‘yes’.
We have little to rely on to guide us through life. Our parents, as loving as they are, tend to advise us on how to become copies of themselves. Either that, or, they’re so afraid of us getting harmed, their guidance is overly cautious.
Following the crowd won’t work either. This will, at best, only lead you to a life of security and comfort. The higher prize of authentic success and true expression will be out of reach as you spend the majority of your life working to make somebody else rich.
So, who, or what, can you turn to for guidance?
You must look within. Not in the sense of endlessly deliberating over a course of action. This mental back and forth will only lead to procrastination. Instead, you must be aware. You must decide upon a goal you wish to achieve, or a life you wish to live, and then endeavour to claim it.
It’s through action your path will be revealed. As you strive to live the life of your dreams, if you can still your mind, moments of intuition will spontaneously occur and offer guidance.
A quiet mind is the key, though. Too many questions, or too much over-analysis, and the mental chatter will drown out the message.
What the Research Says
Of course, this is just my experience and you shouldn’t take my word for it. Instead, listen to the science.
Research undertaken at Boston College and published in The Journal of Organizational Behaviour and Human Decision Process in 2012 indicates intuition can be just as effective as an analytical approach when it comes to decision making. In fact, depending on the expertise of the decision maker, sometimes even more. The key ‘take home’ is this,
“Testing intuition against analysis, Pratt and co-authors Erik Dane of Rice University and Kevin W.Rockmann, of George Mason, found that people can trust their gut and rely on intuition when making a broad evaluation – one that doesn’t include a subset of additional decisions – in an area where they have an in-depth knowledge of the subject.”
This research is fascinating. Look at where intuition is at its most effective – ‘when making a broad evaluation’.
What are major life decisions if they’re not broad evaluations? You either decide to stay in your present job or quit and pursue your passion. You either decide to marry your boyfriend or girlfriend or call an end to the relationship and look for someone else. There’s no ‘subset of additional decisions’ to be made.
This is why you can trust your intuition. When there isn’t a large amount of data to analyse, it won’t get confused. It knows your hearts deepest desires and will keep you on a path aligned with their realisation.
Of course, this doesn’t mean the action it prompts you to take is easy. It just means it’s the right thing to do.
Final Thought
I have no way of knowing whether your intuition is your ‘Higher Self’ communicating with you from a different dimension. It’s a nice thought. However, I do know that your intuition must come from somewhere.
Unlike thought, it’s not self-generated. Therefore, its origins must, in part, be somewhere outside of yourself yet, at the same time, connected to you. Some people call this God, The Universe or the super conscious mind. The terminology doesn’t matter.
What does, though, is that you pay attention. Many people ignore their intuition because The System’s conditions them to believe the insights it reveals can’t work in ‘The Real World.’
But, do you know the problem with living a completely ‘head’ driven life? No matter how successful (in the eyes of society) you become, you risk feeling empty inside.
This won’t happen if you trust your intuition. It may lead you down a challenging path but you’ll feel alive every step of the way.
(image taken from Stuart Ranking photostream flickr.com)
Transform your Life with Fight Club Philosophy
Are you looking for a radical way to shake up your life?
Are you bored with the seemingly meaningless way of life The System offers?
Would you like your life to be one big adventure?
If you answered yes to any, or all, of these questions then I have the solution. It comes in the form of a 1999 film that introduced a revolutionary new character with a dark, yet liberating, life philosophy.
I am, of course, talking about Fight Club and Tyler Durden and, by learning from its philosophy, you’ll be able to transform yourself into the person you’ve always wanted to be.
Philosophy Number 1: Live a Life that Makes You Feel Alive
What was the fight club in Fight Club all about? A chance for some blue and white-collar workers to vent their aggression?
No, it was an opportunity for a group of men, totally disconnected from life, to feel alive.
Fight Club was criticised for the level of violence displayed. People said it promoted fascism and misogamy. These critics totally missed the point.
The men in Fight Club were so numb from a life of pumping gas, waiting tables, working in offices and chasing the empty dream of consumerism, that they needed something as extreme as fighting to remind them they were alive.
Remember what led Jack (Edward Norton’s character) to Tyler Durden and the creation of Fight Club. He was an insomniac. His life was so dull, he described himself as living in a state that was neither ‘asleep nor awake’.
What happened when he started attending fight club? He slept like a baby!
The lesson here is that without stimulation, your mind is prone to turning in on itself, shutting down or seeking other more destructive outlets such a drugs, emotional eating or gambling. Therefore, you must engage in, and with, the pursuits, people and activities that make you feel alive. This prevents mental illness, increases your happiness and unleashes your creativity.
Philosophy Number 2: Let Go of the Need to Control
‘Hitting bottom isn’t a weekend retreat. It isn’t a god damn seminar. Stop trying to control everything and let go. LET GO!’
– Tyler Durden
Do you find that attempts to control your life often backfire?
Whether a natural impulse, or inherited from growing up in such a demanding society (exams, deadlines, work targets etc.), the need to control is hard to resist. We struggle, push and strain, hoping that if we can exert enough effort, then we can achieve our goals.
But what if there was another way?
Throughout the film, Tyler urges Jack to let go of his need to control. This, he teaches him, is the only way to evolve and be free.
To prove his point, he lets go of the steering wheel while they’re driving on the freeway. Jack immediately urges Tyler to take control of the car. Tyler refuses. Jack’s been questioning him about the exact direction that Fight Club is taking as it transitions into Project Mayhem. He’s insisting that he’s kept informed of all developments.
Tyler doesn’t want to hear this. To him, it’s a sign that Jack hasn’t learned a thing since coming to Fight Club. He doesn’t realise that projects evolve and grow and can’t be micro managed. Sometimes, the destination isn’t clear, but if we’re open to where the journey might lead, we can still achieve the outcomes we desire.
Of course, without Tyler controlling the car, it crashes and careens off the road. It’s an extreme lesson and, for a moment, the viewer is left wondering what it’s about. However, Tyler, in his twistedly brilliant way reveals all, as says to Jack while scrambling from the wreckage, ‘God damn, we’ve just had a near life experience.’
He wants to show Jack what happens when you learn to let go of your need to control. You don’t die. Your world doesn’t fall apart. You don’t lose all motivation and you’re still able to function and perform important duties. However, what does happen, when you stop attempting to control every tiny detailed, is that you are opened to the adventure of life.
Defeats turn into opportunities. A blocked road alerts you to a more interesting path. Being injured or unable to do something, frees up time for you to explore other areas.
The message is that your subconscious mind is connected to a deeper wisdom than your conscious. You can’t possibly control all the millions of outcomes that need to go your way to be successful. It would take too long. At some point, you must let go and trust that everything that needs to happen will occur.
Philosophy Number 3: Do What Matters and Forget Everything Else
In one of the most powerful scenes of the film, Tyler holds a gun to a convenience store workers head. The worker (Raymond) is terrified. He thinks his store is being held up. However, his terror soon turns to confusion as Tyler starts questioning him about his life.
Raymond has been putting off becoming a vet because of all the obstacles he believes stand in his way.
Tyler views everything Raymond says as an excuse. So, he gives him an option. Either he can enrol in veterinary school and follow his dreams, or, Tyler can re-visit him in six weeks and blow his brains out.
Extreme and cruel?
Perhaps, but Tyler also makes a brilliant point. Far too many of us don’t follow through with the truly important things in our lives. We’re too willing to believe our own excuses and spend our lives focusing on the small stuff we think needs to be done.
The problem is that, unlike Raymond, none of us are faced with a life or death choice. When walking The System’s Path, our decline is slow. We don’t notice the loss of vitality and health until it’s too late. Looking back, we rue the wasted years and regret the dreams we didn’t follow but, at the time, we have no perspective.
When faced with a life and death situation, you see clearly. When threatened with the loss of everything, you realise you’re free to do anything. What else matters? Paying the rent on the crappy apartment you hate? Paying a mortgage to a bank who’s ripping you off? Turning up on time to a job that bores your brains out?
Are you really going to be thinking about these things on your death bed?
No, so why let them stop you going for the life you want?
The lesson here is that living your dreams is relatively simple. There’s nothing stopping you. If someone put a gun to your head and told you to follow through on that idea you have for a business, or pursue your dream to be an actor, you’d do it, and probably be successful too!
Final Thought
In, perhaps, the most powerful speech of the film (or any film), Tyler tells the group of disaffected men congregated at Fight Club, “We’re the middle children of history. No purpose, no place. We have no great war, no great depression. Our great war is a spiritual war; our great depression is our lives.”
It’s a sentiment echoed by another great thinker – Victor Frankl – when he wrote this in his best-selling book, Man’s Search for Meaning,
“Every age has its own collective neurosis, and every age needs its own psychotherapy to cope with it. The existential vacuum which is the mass neurosis of the present time can be described as a private and personal form of nihilism; for nihilism can be defined as the contention that being has no meaning.”
At its deepest level, Fight Club is a film about finding meaning. Life seems pointless because you’ve been conditioned to value things that make you feel empty (accumulation of wealth and status). If you can reject this conditioning and, instead, win the ‘spiritual war’ of your soul (obey your inner voice, rather than societies, in all your major life decisions), then the sense of purpose that eludes so many of us, will be yours.
(image taken from Jess’s photostream at flickr.com)
To read more on Tyler Durden and Fight Club, please check out Self-Improvement is Masturbation: Tyler Durden’s 3 Rules for an Exciting Life. With over 3000 shares it’s the sites most popular post.
Don’t end up Sleeping in Bed with your Mommy
Talk About It!
And this was the problem. One was a rugby player, one was a fireman and one was a comedian. The person they had to show the world, the man they felt they had to be to successfully navigate their strong male environment, never expressed the deeper side to their nature. Eventually, this shut them down.
Final Thought
1 Weird Hack that will Massively Increase your Motivation
Do you believe in time travel?
I do!
Not in a ‘Back to the Future’ sense of the word (although wouldn’t that be cool), but I do believe in our ability to go back into our minds and memories and relive experiences from the past.
Some of you will know that, when I’m not running this website and promoting my book, I work as a hypnotherapist. One of the techniques I trained in is called Time Line Therapy.
This technique, created by NLP Master Trainer Tad James, asks the client to go back through their memories to a significant emotional event connected with the problem state they are experiencing in the present. For example, a person terrified of public speaking might go back to a humiliating childhood memory, of being laughed at, while trying to speak in front of a class at school.
They are then asked, ‘What’s the one learning that the you now, would tell the you back then, that were they to live it, would completely free them from this feeling of X (whatever the problem state might be)?’ If the client successfully embraces this learning, their subconscious is then updated and they are freed from an emotion that has been holding them back for years.
This is a simplified explanation of Time Line Therapy (and if you want a more detailed idea of how it works then watch this video of Tad James in action) but the point is that, through our minds, time travel is possible.
If you can get into a relaxed enough state, and focus clearly on a powerful memory from the past, after a while, you will be drawn deeply into that memory so that it begins to feel real.
You then have two options. You can just enjoy, or experience (if it’s a bad one), the memory. Or, you can use the Time Line Therapy question above and try to work out what you needed in order to successfully progress through what you were experiencing.
I’ve been using this hack a lot lately with some amazing results. I wander back in my mind to some key moments in my development, centered around the time when I first started getting intuitions about what I felt was my life’s purpose, and then ask this question, ‘What would I have done back then if I’d had the knowledge that I now possess?’
You see, back then, I wasn’t the person that I am now. Although I had this embryonic dream of writing a best-selling personal development book, it was also one of the darkest times in my life (I was 22 at the time and had just finished University).
I was lost and full of self-doubt. On top of that, I had these doubts echoed to me on a daily basis by careers advisers, parents and an environment of lack (lack of supportive friends, lack of my own money, lack of any contacts or ideas on how to break into the personal development industry).
As a result, my progress was incredibly slow. It was a case of one step forward, nine tenths of a step back. I doubted every decision (or proposed decision) I made and had to test the water with everything I did (rather than diving straight in, learning from my mistakes, and making progress).
With this approach, it’s hardly a surprise that the meteoric rise to the top I frequently imagined, never occurred.
But it could have done! And this is the point.
If only I’d known back then, what I know now, my progress would have been so much quicker. If I’d approached my dream with the energy that I now possess, I could have halved the time which I took to achieve it.
I don’t want you to fall into the same trap as you advance in the quest to live your dreams.
My problem was self-doubt but there could be any one (or more) of an array of problem states that currently block or slow your path. How can you tackle them?
As crazy as it sounds, by using the technique above!
Altering the Course of Your History
Right now, I want you to recall a pivotal time in your life, when you had the opportunity to make significant progress or alter the course of your life in a positive way, yet you didn’t take full advantage of it.
Drift back into the memory. Focus on where you were and what you could see. Remember the possibilities and excitement of the time. Try and recall what you were doing. You’re looking for a specific memory. The more you focus on it, the more real it will feel. Close your eyes if it helps (it probably will!).
Now ask yourself this question, ‘What would I have done back then if I had the knowledge that I now possess?’
Now see yourself doing it. Rewrite your own history and feel the excitement of putting that knowledge into action.
Then, once you’ve immersed yourself in the experience, write down your answer.
For help doing this, read the following example. It’s taken from my ‘success diary’, that I’ve been keeping since September 2002, and is an account of me going through the process outlined above.
The entry for the 1st May 2016 reads as follows:
The event I was thinking about last night was from May 2002. A month away from finishing at Manchester University, I was in the Library on the first or second floor, staring out of the window pondering my future. I was starting to feel alive again after having spent the last 3 years in another time and place. The power of my dream was calling me and I could feel the excitement of its possibilities. However, I didn’t throw myself into it wholeheartedly. There was too much doubt, delay and confusion in my mind.
If only, if only I could go back there now. I would attack my dreams full tilt. I’d have knuckled down and written my book [referring to what was to become Escape The System] in 6 months. It wouldn’t have been perfect but at least I’d have had something. I’d then have started promoting myself by starting up groups and perhaps gained a life coaching qualification. Then, as my skills developed, and my writing became more refined, I’d have got a publishing deal by 2006.
I’ve got to stop there because it’s pointless saying what I would have done. I can’t go back. All I’ve got is now. And as of today, I must approach my dream full tilt. Risk everything and don’t hold back. I can’t do anything about 2002, but, sure as hell, I can do something about today. Throw yourself into it. If these 14 years have taught me one thing, it’s that I never fail by taking risks to advance my dream. I fail when I delay and opportunities (and life) pass me by.
I highlighted my key learning (and answer to the question posed above) in bold. I’ve then taken that knowledge and lived it every day since the 1st May this year.
As a result, my motivation has increased immensely and I no longer fear cutting back on higher paying tennis coaching and hypnotherapy clients to make time to work on my greater, but less well paid (at the moment), dream of becoming a best-selling author. Experience has taught me that taking risks works and that removes any reservations I have about what I stand to lose. Therefore, my mind is clear and I’m free to act, certain in the knowledge that my actions will bring success.
Don’t Keep Repeating the Same Mistakes!
My learning demanded that I take greater risks and attack my dream with unrestrained energy.
What did yours teach you?
In whatever way you can, I urge you to apply that knowledge.
The increased motivation it provides is immense. How could it not be? Here you are, in exactly the same position as you were in the memory I asked you to recall (i.e. with an amazing opportunity to advance your life) but now you have the chance to benefit from your increased wisdom.
What could be more motivating or exciting?
You see, in some way, we do have the opportunity to go back and correct our mistakes from the past. We do it by taking on board the lessons they’ve taught us and then acting on them NOW.
(Image taken from Ape Lad photostream on flickr.com)
How the ‘Muhammad Ali Mind-Set’ will help you Live your Dreams
Last weekend, I went to the Muhammad Ali exhibition at the O2 in London.
I left the venue buzzing. Not only was I dazzled by Ali’s boxing prowess and career, I was awed by the strength he showed in standing up for what he believed in and touched by his humanity.
But I also left the venue in a deep state of thought. Many of Ali’s quotes were plastered around the walls and most of them referenced his incredible self-belief. He went around telling people he was ‘The Greatest’ and this was even before he won a championship belt.
Read the quote below (taken from the exhibition).
Amazing, isn’t it? He was a kid from Kentucky who believed in himself and went on to conquer the world.
How was he able to do this? What was so unique about Ali?
Of course, his physical attributes and hard work played a massive role but there are plenty of other athletes who share these qualities.
So I want to focus on something else that Ali seemed unique in possessing, or was at least the undisputed king in this field – self-talk!
“I’m the greatest of all-times.”
“I’m so fast that last night I turned off the light switch in my hotel room and was in bed before the room was dark.”
“I’m gonna show you how great I am.”
“I am the king of the world.”
These were just some of the affirmations he would tell himself, his opponents and the media. Some were funny, some seemed arrogant but they were all fueled by a divine certainty in himself and his abilities.
I now want to explore the implications of adopting Ali style self-talk and delve deeper into the possibilities of you becoming great through using his method.
How do you see yourself?
I’m from the UK and, in general, we’re a pretty miserable bunch. I’ve grown up in a society where it’s more socially acceptable to put yourself down than to dare say something positive about your abilities.
I’m used to hearing people say,
“I’m rubbish at that.”
“I’m not good enough.”
“I couldn’t do that.”
It’s considered OK to tell people about your perceived weaknesses but a sign of thinking you’re better than others if you vocalize a belief in yourself.
How crazy is that? We’d rather encourage playing small, in the misguided belief that others will feel safe around us, than tell (and show) the world how great we are and give other people permission to let their light shine.
I doubt such an attitude is restricted exclusively to the UK. My country may be an extreme example but how many cultures encourage positive self-talk?
Not many, I would wager, and this is the problem.
You don’t get to be great by telling yourself that you’re rubbish!
Could there be millions of us talking ourselves out of greatness?
I think so!
And as it turns out, I’m not alone in my thinking.
Two giants of the personal development world list identity or self-image (basically how we see ourselves) as the main factor in determining a person’s level of success.
Tony Robbins, with his best-selling books, seminars with an accumulated total of well over a million attendees and celebrity roster of coaching clients, has this to say about identity,
Then there’s Dr Maxwell Matlz, who’s 30 million plus selling book, Psycho-Cybernetics, is based upon the idea that people conform to their self-image.
His is an interesting perspective because he was originally introduced to the importance of self-image through his work as a plastic surgeon. He discovered that while some clients were delighted with the results of their surgery, and, as a result, adopted a more confident and outgoing persona, others would experience no change in their confidence levels despite their operation being a success.
This led him to the conclusions that self-image was more important than actual image. He could remove or correct what the patient viewed as an ugly disfigurement, yet if the patient still saw themselves as ‘ugly’, then their self-esteem wouldn’t change.
Both Robbins and Maltz’s findings concur with my experiences as a hypnotherapist.
The most difficult part in helping a smoker give up their habit was convincing them of their new identity as a non-smoker. Often, changing the behavior wasn’t too difficult as most could go without smoking for a short to medium period of time. However, if that change was to last then they had to believe they were non-smokers. If they still identified as a smoker they might abstain for a couple of months but the pull of their identity would be too great for them to maintain their resistance.
The significance of all these examples is that we build our identity, or create a self-image, partly through self-talk. Constantly tell yourself that you are ‘The Greatest’ and you’ll unleash your limitless potential. However, tell yourself that you’re ‘not good enough’ or ‘rubbish’ or ‘ugly’ and you’ll unwittingly inflict a life time of self-sabotage on your efforts.
Mastering your Self-Talk
So how will you apply what you’ve learned today? It might wear a little thin if you’re constantly telling friends, colleagues and anyone who’ll listen about how amazing you are and accompanying it with a quick ‘Ali shuffle’.
So I suggest that in some (but not all) cases you keep your positive self-talk to yourself.
- Anytime you’re confronted with a work challenge, or are learning a new skill, you can gently remind yourself, ‘I can do this’.
- When you’re playing a match, or competing at a discipline, you can repeat the words, ‘I’m a champion.’
- Before you take to the stage to deliver a talk, or get up in front of your colleagues to give a presentation, you can tell yourself, ‘My words inspire.’
There are hundreds of small phrases that you can focus on in daily situations to reinforce the message that you have the ability to achieve anything you desire.
Of course, you have to feel them as well.
Think back to how Ali used to talk about himself. He would shout and holler, ‘I’m the Greatest of all-times.’ In some interviews he looked manic but it was this depth of feeling that turned mere words into a powerful identity.
It’s also important to note that there will be times when it’s appropriate to vocalize the belief you have in yourself. If someone at work asks you whether you can handle a particular job, if a prospective client wants to know if you can help them, if an organizer is asking you whether you’re ready to speak at their event, and you believe you are and can, THEN DAMN WELL TELL THEM. Don’t play small and say ‘maybe’ or ‘I’ll do my best.’
Look them in the eye and tell them that you’re the real deal and you can get the job done.
Let’s make a start right now, shall we?
In the comment section below I want you to tell me one thing you’re really good at or have done. And if you have a website promoting this skill then by all means leave a link.
I’ll start it off so no one feels awkward. You then follow my lead and from this day forward, start positively affirming your abilities and NEVER put yourself down!
The 16 Things I Learned Working 20 Hours a Week Building a Business in 2015 (while still having a regular job)
I did it!!!!
That picture you see is me celebrating achieving my New Year’s resolution for 2015. At the start of the year, I set myself the goal of working on average 20 hours a week building my business, EVERY WEEK, for the whole year (while still working a regular job).
I’ve got to be honest, it was tough. It required a huge amount of discipline and a surprising amount of planning too. In the process, I learned a lot, both about myself, and what it takes to achieve your goals and New Year’s resolutions.
I will share these discoveries with you now. My hope is that it will give you the motivation to set and stick to your own New Year’s resolutions, the information on what to expect and the proof that it’s worthwhile.
And the lessons I’ve learned from this one year journey can be applied to any area. While my experiment focused on the benefits to building a business, these lessons will apply just as readily to someone looking lose weight, implement a regular exercise routine, enforce regular meditation or do anything on a consistent basis, throughout the year, while having multiple pressures on their time.
So basically, what I’m saying is, if you have a goal to achieve in 2016 then you need to read this!
Before we Start
Before we dive into the list, let me clarify a few things.
Firstly, when I say ‘building a business’, I’m referring to all work on my Screw the System project. This means blogging, updating my book, creating videos (here’s one related to this post), updating social media, attending and giving talks and coaching (not my hypnotherapy though).
Secondly, my ‘regular job’ is not regular (more on the relevance of this as we delve into the list). My main source of income is through tennis coaching and then hypnotherapy. I make a small amount of money (book sales) through the Screw the System project but it is certainly not enough to live on. (However, through the solid foundation I’ve built during 2015, I look to 2016 as the year I’ll earn half my income through StS).
Thirdly, I did not work 20 hours a week on building my business every week. It was an average. During the spring and summer it was more like 15 hours a week, while during the Autumn and Winter it got up to 25 hours and occasionally more.
To record my hours, I ticked a page in my diary (see pic) to keep up to date with my progress. On completing a block of 2 hours 45 minutes, I would tick that day off as complete.
Why did I choose 2 hours 45 minutes?
Add that up over 7 days and it comes to approximately 20 hours for the week. It was a figure inspired by reading an article on Jon Morrow’s site Boost Blog Traffic. He states that in order to create a successful blog (with a huge amount of traffic), you have to be prepared to put in 20 to 40 hours work a week for 4 to 6 years.
So, now you’ve got the background info, let’s get into the list.
1. THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN UTTERLY IMPOSSIBLE IF I’D WORKED A REGULAR JOB!
I have the upmost respect for anybody building a business, or creating a dream, whilst working a regular 9 to 5 job. I couldn’t do it!
We all know that a 9 to 5 is rarely a 9 to 5. When you include travel, and the strong likelihood you’ll be required to work overtime, you’ll probably be occupied from the hours of seven thirty in the morning to roughly seven thirty or eight at night. That gives you one quality hour a night to build your business (if you’re extremely motivated and don’t have any other interests) and means you’ll have to work 15 hours over the weekend.
As I said earlier, over a sustained period of time, there’s no way I could have done this (and I like to consider myself a highly motivated person).
2. DON’T UNDERESTIMATE THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING IN CHARGE OF YOUR TIME
The only way I could dedicate 20 hours a week to building my business, while working others jobs, was to be in complete control of my time. On average, throughout the year, my combined ‘regular job’ of tennis coaching and hypnotherapy probably occupied a little over 30 hours a week. However, I got to set my hours. Typically, I’d have every week day morning between the hours of 9 and 1 free to work on building my business.
This was probably the number one reason for me achieving my goal. Do not underestimate the importance of working less time and earning less money if it allows you to focus on something you consider to be your higher purpose!
3. THIS WOULDN’T HAVE BEEN POSSIBLE IF I’D TAKEN A VACATION!
For the whole of 2015, I never went abroad. I had about four weekends away either visiting my Grandma or going somewhere with my girlfriend. The rest of the time I was at home.
This may horrify some of you who work ‘regular jobs’ and use the thought of their next vacation as motivation to get through what can otherwise be a monotonous year. However, to paraphrase Seth Godin, when you’re living and creating ‘a life you don’t need to escape from’, you don’t really miss vacations.
4. I NEVER FELT ‘BURNT OUT’
Baring my few weekends away, I had no time off during 2015. I worked pretty consistently for 50 hours a week, EVERY week of the year. However, I never felt ‘burnt out’.
How could this be?
The simple answer is that all of my work inspires me. I don’t believe it’s hard work that makes you tired. It’s demotivating work that drains you. Working hard on something that inspires you makes you stronger.
5. I LOVE AND NEED MY SLEEP
I achieved this goal while regularly sleeping 8 hours a night (occasionally less, rarely more). I don’t believe that cutting down on sleep, or taking supplements so that you can work longer, is a route to greater productivity. Being fully alert and happy is the route to greater productivity, and over a sustained period of time, this can only be achieved by sleeping well.
6. I LOVE AND NEED MY EXERCISE
As is the case with number 5, this was something I wasn’t prepared to sacrifice. You can read about my exercise routine and why I feel it should never be sacrificed to the demands of a job here. I’m certain that my strict adherence to it was vital in recharging my mind and keeping me full of energy.
7. IT GOT EASIER AS THE YEAR WENT ON
This is something everybody who disciplines themselves to do something that, on occasions, they’d rather not do, experiences. There were times when I wanted to veg out and watch TV or browse the internet, but the more I forced myself to work, the more I enjoyed it.
It becomes a habit and this bodes well for anyone wanting to alter their eating habits, exercise more or cut out an addiction. Keep going because it gets easier.
8. IT WAS EASIER BECAUSE I KEPT TRACK OF MY PROGRESS
You’ve seen the picture of my diary above. This was a big big reason I completed my goal. I felt a huge wave of motivation every time I ticked a day off. It made me hungry for the next one.
9. PUTTING IN THE HOURS PAYS OFF
As a result of achieving this goal, I gained more subscribers in 2015 than I did in the previous two and a half years combined.
Previous to this year, the hours I put in were sporadic. I’d put in the odd 20 hours a week when I was working on something time sensitive, but then might only put in 5 hours a week when I was busy tennis coaching during the summer. Making sure there was never a time when I was putting in less than 15 hours a week this year was vital to maintaining my momentum. And as any sports person knows, momentum brings results.
10. PUTTING IN THE HOURS DOESN’T PAY OFF
Hard work alone doesn’t bring results. Although the jump in my subscriber rate was pleasing, my book sales didn’t match this growth and overall, I didn’t achieve the impact I’d hoped that amount of work would.
What’s the conclusion?
Smart work is essential. I wasted too much time messing around with social media when it could have been more effectively used writing guest posts for other sites.
11. SET YOURSELF MINI GOALS WITHIN THE TIME YOU WORK
This links to the concept of working smart. If you want to make the most out of a 2 hour time slot, then set yourself a task to achieve within that time frame. For example, I now insist on writing 300 publishable words per hour for any of my blog posts or books. It stops me daydreaming and made December of 2015 my most productive month by far.
12. PLANNING IS CRUCIAL TO ACHIEVING ANY GOAL
This was the biggest surprise to me. Working hard wasn’t the difficult part. Looking at my calendar and figuring out what ‘paid work’ I’d have to cancel, to fit in my hours, was. It was a constant juggling act. I didn’t want to piss off any of my tennis or hypnotherapy clients yet I knew that if I didn’t carefully manage my time, and say NO to extra work and social events, then I’d never achieve my goal
13. DISCIPLINE BEATS INSPIRATION EVERY TIME
I’ve tried the whole, ‘work when the inspiration hits you’ approach. Problem is, the inspiration doesn’t strike enough. It’s far better to have a set schedule for you business building work. If you’re feeling inspired, great; if not, well then at least you still get some work done.
14. RELATIONSHIPS WILL SUFFER UNLESS YOU’RE VERY VIGILANT
I’m close to my parents, have one girlfriend and three close friends. I don’t have time for anything more. I even worry that I don’t give enough time to these relationships – my girlfriend would certainly say so!But what’s success for? So that you can reach the top of the mountain and enjoy being there by yourself?
This is why, no matter what, you have to maintain your relationships and humanity. Sacrificing a friend in need for your own work is not an option. However, realise that you might come close to doing this on many occasions. Just be vigilant!
15. THERE ARE MORE IMPORTANT THINGS THAN MONEY
I could have earned an extra $20,000 this year if I focused solely on tennis coaching and hypnotherapy. Some of you may find it insane that I consider myself richer for having put that time to use building my business.
I believe time will prove this to be a worthy financial investment but it isn’t all about the money. The feedback I’ve received from some of you concerning the impact of my book and work has given me a sense of satisfaction I struggle to put into words. You don’t get to walk this higher path when financial concerns are the driving force behind your decisions.
16. ACHIEVING THIS GOAL WAS AN INCREDIBLE BOOST TO MY SELF-ESTEEM
Sitting here, writing this blog post in early 2016, I feel incredibly strong. Part of that comes from knowing I’m a person who can set himself a goal and achieve it. I feel good about myself and I want you to feel good about yourself too.
So find a goal for 2016 that has a deep personal meaning to you, and will benefit your life in some way, and set out on a mission to achieve it. Do not sway in your commitment, and do not compromise the goal for anything, and I guarantee that this time next year you will have been hugely enriched by the experience.
The Ultimate ‘unconventional’ Daily Motivation Routine for Busy People
Wake up 5am. (What!?!?)
Write down your goals for the day, meditate, repeat affirmations, do a cold plunge or jump in your cryotherapy unit, then exercise for 45 minutes to an hour. Finally, do some journaling or reading. (I’m sorry, has this morning routine just turned into exactly that – an entire morning).
Where do these personal development guru’s get time to do all of this? Why have you got to deprive yourself of sleep to be effective? And what happens if you’ve got to jump on a train at 8am to be at your job for 9am?
These were my thoughts after reading a collection of daily motivation routines from Tony Robbins to Hal Elrod to a host of other less famous figures. They seemed to bear little relevance to anyone who was busy and perhaps, counter-productive to anyone who needs to accomplish something with their day.
Do you even need a Motivation Routine?
Let’s back up a little though. I don’t want you to ge the wrong impression. Despite my opening comments, I absolutely DO believe in the power of having a daily motivation routine.They are crucially important for a couple of reasons.
Firstly, they boost your energy and get you in the right state to perform during the day.
The more I grow and break new ground in both my work, personal life and hobbies, the more I’ve come to realise that energy is everything. Don’t get me wrong, strategy and tactics are important, but energy is the X factor that helps you get the deal, win the match and convince someone of your, or your products, value.
Want to boost yours? Then get yourself a daily motivation routine. The techniques listed above (and the ones I will list below), if done correctly and repeated enough, will seep into your subconscious and make you believe in what you’re seeing, saying or writing. You’ll feel differently about yourself and this will be expressed when you meet someone new, make an important phone call or reach a decisive point in your negotiations or match. Plus, exercise and expressing your desires naturally boosts your energy. Combine all of them together and you’ll give yourself enough emotional fuel to remain productive throughout the day.
Secondly, a daily motivation routine makes you turn up every single day.
This is often overlooked when it comes to understanding the importance of these practises. Sometimes meditation doesn’t make you feel great. Sometimes your thoughts run away with you and you can’t focus on anything. And sometimes, a cold plunge or cold shower just makes you feel like a quivering wimp.
But you still turned up! You still made that commitment to improving your life and that counts for a lot.
Empires are built on this kind of daily drive. Woody Allen famously said, ‘80% of success is showing up’. Keep reaffirming your commitment to living a greater life, day after day (that’s the important part), and you immediately put yourself ahead of the 90% of people who wish that their lives got better but don’t give any mental attention to this desire.
The Rapid Results Motivation Routine
Having extolled the virtues of motivation routines, I feel I must also draw your attention to my concerns with conventional ones and present you with an alternative.
My misgivings are centred on two issues – lack of sleep and lack of time.
I see little value in waking up at 5 or 6 am, if doing so deprives you of sleep and leaves you feeling tired during the day. And if you can’t set your working hours then it’s likely you’ll have at least 10 – 11 hours of your day occupied by work, travel and preparing for work. Alongside, socialising, family time, downtime and going to the gym, how the hell are you going to fit in an hour long motivation routine?
That’s why I want to present you with a motivation routine that can be completed at any time during the day, takes no longer than 10 to 15 minutes to finish and will leave you feeling like you can conquer the world.
Step 1: Priming
I’m not against meditation and don’t wish to discourage you if you find this practise beneficial. However, I prefer to put my thoughts to use. So, at 11.45pm, just before I get into bed, I switch off all the lights and light a candle.
I then stare at this candle (very easy to focus on when there are no other light sources) and fill my mind with thoughts of what I want to achieve. I’ll picture myself selling 1 million copies of my book, getting a publishing deal and hitting perfect tennis strokes. I tend to choose one particular topic per night and focus all my attention on this. My aim is to achieve an emotional response (e.g. feeling joyful, inspired or in some cases determined) as this is evidence that my thoughts are forming a belief.
Time taken to complete: 5 – 7 minutes
Further Resources: Maxwell Maltz’s Psycho Cybernetics and a Tim Ferriss podcast with Tony Robbins where he discusses using priming (I stole the name off him). See episode 1 and then start at 26:16.
Step 2: Reciting Personal Statement
A personal statement is a short paragraph about who you are and what you are on this earth to do. It should be written as if you are already living the life you want, even if your reality reflects something different. By way of example, here’s mine,
I am devastating. My words reach millions. I am a power that shapes this world. I live the paradise I have felt so many times. I only use my power for good. I help, save and set free as many people as possible. I am a channel to bring good into this world.
Repeat your statement 3 times over with as much passion and conviction as you can muster. To make it sink into your subconscious, turn it into a performance, complete with dramatic gesticulations.
Time taken to complete: 1 minute
Further Resources: Joseph Murphy’s The Power of your Subconscious Mind and click the link here to discover how Bruce Lee used this technique to launch his film career.
Step 3: Power Pose
This technique utilises the NLP practise of anchoring to form a connection between a particular body movement and a powerful emotional feeling. For example, you might hold your arms aloft in the pose of a champion sportsperson and connect this with a deep feeling of achievement.
Use this technique to charge yourself with energy before you give an important performance and at any time during the day when you need a boost. However, do note that it takes practise to connect the pose with an empowering emotion. It may not happen first time but if you repeat it enough, a powerful connection will be formed that you can use as a resource any time you need.
Time Taken to Complete: 30 secs
Further Resources: For a clear demonstration of its use, watch my ‘I love getting high’ video.
Step 4: Motivational Playlist
If you’re pressed for time then why not use one of the most powerful emotional resources known to man – music!
Our favourite songs aren’t just entertainment. They carry deep meanings and stimulate strong emotions in our limbic system.
So get your phone or device, create a playlist of 10 or 20 of the most motivating songs in your collection and then play them at various time throughout the day. The beauty of this technique is it can be completed while getting ready, tidying your house, travelling to work and training at the gym.
By way of example, here are some of mine;
- A Minute for your Son – DMX
- Broken Wings – Mr. Mister
- A Change is Gonna Come – Sam Cooke
- Gonna Fly Now – Rocky theme song
- Great High Mountain – Jack White
- I Believe I can fly – R. Kelly
- Juicy – The Notorious B.I.G
- Keep the Faith – Michael Jackson
- Keep ya Head Up – 2Pac
- Man in the Mirror – Michael Jackson
- Roll Jordan Roll – John Legend
- Slippin’ – DMX
- So Amazing – Theme song from The Hurricane
- Star Wars theme song
Step 5: The Freedom Shout
If you’ve got to the bottom of this list then you’ve probably noticed a reoccurring theme – EMOTION. A good motivation routine should leave you feeling pumped, upbeat and inspired. There are few better ways of doing this than performing The Freedom Shout.
To do it successfully, you will need to;
1. Find a scenic, dramatic location with few people around (or for daily use I suggest your car).
2. Let out the most animalistic war cry you can summon.
3. Hold it for 2 to 4 seconds and while you are shouting focus on what you want to achieve. This can be anything ranging from having love in your life, realising your dreams or just summoning all your energy.
If done correctly, you will feel awesome after performing The Freedom Shout. It cuts through all negativity and immediately raises you into an empowered state.
Time Taken to Complete: 5 seconds.
Further Resources: Watch my video which includes a demonstration.
Your Turn
If you know anyone who’s too busy to complete a daily motivation routine then please do them (and me) a favour by emailing them a link to this article.
And also, I’d like to know what techniques work best for you. Tell me in the comments section below.
Thank you for reading and sharing.