Tag: Side Hustle
The Curse Of Being Different
Since the age of 11, I’ve felt different.
When I went to secondary school, I found it impossible to fit in.
This feeling intensified as I became a teenager.
Some of my classmates were smoking, drinking and doing drugs.
I wasn’t even curious about trying. However, according to the unwritten rules of being a teenager, the kids who did partake in these activities were “cool”, the top of the social hierarchy (and they got the girls).
It was the same situation when I got to university. However, instead of just a small percentage of the year group partaking in these activities, it was the majority.
But I hadn’t changed.
I couldn’t see the appeal of going out four, five or six nights a week and getting drunk to the point where I felt ill the next day.
I loved having energy, waking up and feeling like I could be productive all day long.
But apparently, that wasn’t cool. Instead, the way to form bonds with other people was through becoming intoxicated to the point where you couldn’t remember what you said or did the night before.
Upon entering the world of work, I couldn’t have felt more different.
Why did everyone accept careers where they had to work 40, 50, 60 or even 70 hours a week at jobs they didn’t enjoy?
Why would they sacrifice their health and vitality to make money for a company that would replace them in an instant if it improved the bottom line?
It seemed soul destroying yet nobody questioned whether there were any alternatives.
Of course, I was wrong for thinking this way. Working yourself into the ground, and doing anything your boss asked, was the way to acquire wealth, status and security.
As I got older, and the issue of settling down and getting married became more relevant, I once again found myself in the minority.
I wondered why it was necessary. If you love someone, and give them your word, then why do you need to sign a legally binding agreement with the government?
Around 42% of marriages end in divorce. Why face the relatively high possibility of financial ruin and emotional devastation just because everybody else is too scared to question a possibly outdated institution?
I soon discovered that thinking this way made me a twisted cynic. Nobody gets bored spending every single day with the same person for 40 plus years and getting married is the only way for your life to be complete.
By 2020, I didn’t need any more evidence of how different I was. However, the Covid pandemic was there to remind me that I’d drifted even further from the majority.
I watched what seemed to be the entire world give in to fear and lose all ability to question authority.
I failed to understand why a virus, which although more deadly than flu wasn’t in the same ballpark as Ebola, could cause an entire world to shut down.
But apparently, I was a covidiot. Because I didn’t blindly accept what the media and authorities were saying, I was naïve and potentially dangerous.
The alien
Why highlight all the experiences that have made me feel so different?
I wanted to give you an accurate impression of how disconnected I’ve felt for the majority of my life.
Sometimes I look at the world and can’t believe I’m a part of this reality. Society’s customs, values and preferences seem warped and, as a result, I feel like an alien moving through a strange land.
Have you ever felt this way?
Perhaps you don’t agree with me on every single one of the issues listed above. It’s not important that you do. However, if you’ve also felt the curse of being different then I’ve got a message for you.
Being different made me feel incredibly isolated.
I’d need a calculator to compute the number of Saturday night’s I’ve spent alone, trying to find some way to entertain myself so I didn’t slip into depression.
This, in itself, was pretty soul destroying. However, during that time, I made a fatal error of judgement with even deeper ramifications.
The façade
Most people don’t conform because they enjoy the behaviour or activity that society requires them to perform.
Nobody actually likes working 40 to 60 hours a week in a job they find, in parts, stressful and boring.
Ask any smoker or drinker if they enjoyed their first cigarette or pint and they’ll probably tell you it was disgusting.
Why, then, do they do things that go against their nature?
Most people are followers (about 80% of the population according to my new book The Rebel Code). Their primary needs are security and acceptance. They’ll seek to meet these at the expense of freedom, integrity, meaning and even happiness. When it comes to personal motivation, they live their lives moving away from what they fear (the kind of isolation I experienced) rather than being motivated towards what they want.
This leads them to play a role – the hardworking office employee, the diligent husband, the obedient citizen, the sociable drinker – in order to fit in.
Of course, deep down, they don’t enjoy this role. However, they’ll never let on because they fear they’re the only ones who feel this way and would be isolated and rejected if they expressed their concerns.
Inferiority complex
Why am I explaining this?
It took me a long time to gain the above understanding.
For all of my 20s and a part of my 30s, I had an inferiority complex.
I believed there was something wrong with me for being different. I felt inferior to the masses of people who seemed to have no trouble conforming to society’s standards for working, socialising and thinking.
This was a huge mistake. Nothing could have been further from the truth.
However, because I believed that the majority was right and I was wrong, I didn’t trust myself or my ideas. I didn’t pursue my dreams with enough conviction because part of me thought I was crazy for having them.
This is a terrible way to live and a trap I want you to avoid.
You MUST understand there’s nothing wrong with you for being different.
In fact, if you value these differences and live your life according to them, you’re already braver, and potentially greater, than the people who don’t enjoy conforming but do so because they fear rejection and isolation.
It took me a long time to learn this liberating lesson (too long). However, now I see things clearly.
Why would I ever feel inferior to people who live their lives being driven by fear and are afraid of being true to themselves?
There’s no reason to.
Your superpower
Feeling different can be a curse or it can be a blessing.
If you allow your differences to create bitterness or make you feel inferior, then you could spend your entire life feeling disconnected and misunderstood.
However, if you realise that being different is actually a superpower, it can be your ticket to greatness.
Think of all the time you’ll have to pursue your dreams by not wasting your life socialising in ways which you find unenjoyable.
Think of the confidence you’ll develop by believing in yourself despite being in a minority of one.
Think of all the insights and knowledge you’ll gain by having a unique perspective and not being afraid to explore where it leads.
At times, being different can be isolating, heart breaking and intimidating. However, if you’re brave enough to accept who you are, and value yourself regardless of being in the minority, it can be one of the best things in the world.
Recently, I’ve watched as more and more people reject the “getting wasted” culture, placing greater importance on their health. The same could be said about the “work yourself to death” culture with greater numbers becoming content creators, entrepreneurs, side hustlers and working on their own terms. And, with the pandemic over, people are even beginning to question whether the strict lockdowns were necessary and if everyone being forced to take an experimental vaccine was wise.
The opinions and positions I took, that once made me weird, are becoming more and more accepted.
This has taught me a lesson. I was right to stay true to myself. My only mistake was not doing it with greater conviction.
I’m different. And that’s ok.
You’re different. And that’s ok.
GET YOUR FREE COURSE
If you want to discover a passion you can make a living from and overcome the fears that are holding you back, check out my free course 30 Days to Escape The System. Click here to get the course right now! (You’ll find the tips on developing belief and self-confidence fascinating!)
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THE ONLY 3 THINGS YOU NEED TO DO TO ACHIEVE AN “IMPOSSIBLE” DREAM
Let me tell you a quick story.
Back in 2002, I had a dream of becoming a published author.
I wanted to write a self-help book. I’ve always been fascinated by the idea of personal transformation and thought it would be amazing if I could inspire other people to change their lives.
At the time, though, I was a clueless university graduate who’d just returned home to his parents’ house. I didn’t have any experience writing books, I didn’t know anyone in the industry and when I checked the Writer’s and Artist’s Yearbook, it said that almost all publishing companies didn’t accept unsolicited submissions.
Not a great start.
Compounding my doubt, and crushing my motivation even further, were the comments I received from the people I talked to.
- My parents told me I should look at mainstream careers as it was highly unlikely I’d ever get a publishing deal.
- A friend, who’d just started working for a major publishing company, told me about the massive number of submissions they received and the almost equally massive number of rejections these garnered.
- A published self-help author, who I’d been introduced to, outright told me there was no money to be made selling books and that it was impossible to support yourself through writing alone.
As you can imagine, all of these comments had a negative impact on my mindset.
I started to believe that my dream was impossible.
As a result, for the next 5 years, I did nothing (or, at least nothing related to working on my dream). However, in 2007, after the breakup of a newly formed relationships, I decided I needed something to bring me back to life.
So, I began writing my self-help book.
The Long Road To Success
At first, progress was slow.
It took me four and half years and four re-writes to finally have a manuscript worthy of public consumption.
After contacting an agent, and being rejected – thereby having my negative beliefs about getting a publishing deal confirmed – I decided I wouldn’t waste any more time following the traditional route.
Instead, I’d use the relatively new technology of Kindle Direct Publishing (KDP) and upload my book onto Amazon.
It took a year and 3 months to sell the first 100 copies.
It took a further 5 years to reach my first one thousandth copy sold.
My progress was slow and, baring some great feedback from readers, there wasn’t much in my publishing experience to indicate that the naysayers were wrong.
However, in 2017, I attended a YesGroup (a personal development group inspired by the teachings of Tony Robbins) meeting in London. At this meeting, an author called Brett Moran took to the stage and gave a great speech.
Afterwards, I bought his book, chatted to him and then went home.
After reading the book, I noticed he had a UK publisher and emailed him to ask if he wouldn’t mind sharing his contact.
Graciously, he agreed and I got in touch with someone at Watkins Media.
My first offering to them was Escape The System. It got rejected (although with seemingly genuine praise which made me think it would be worth contacting them again once I’d written another book).
That I did, the following year and, to my total surprise, they liked my book and offered me a publishing deal.
Fast forward to 2020 and my book, Do The Work You Love, was published. A dream, which everyone had told me was impossible to achieve, came true.
What I Learned From My Experience
Getting my book published taught me a powerful yet surprising lesson.
Achieving your dreams is easier than you think.
In fact, I believe you have a 66% chance of being successful (watch this video to discover how I came to this conclusion).
There are only 3 things that you need to do (irrespective of what your dream might be).
They are . . .
1. Take Action
You may have thought that the competition for whatever you want to do is vast. So vast, in fact, that it’s not even worth trying.
Let me tell you a little secret.
SO DOES EVERYONE ELSE!
What does that mean?
That 90% of your competition isn’t even going to take the first step to realising their dream. They’re going to believe the statements seen in the picture below, keep working their regular jobs and spend their evenings sitting on the sofa watching their favourite Netflix series.
All you have to do to put yourself ahead of 90% of the competition is take action.
- Set up your website.
- Go on that training course.
- Write the first 10,000 words of your book.
- Find a mentor.
- Create your first product.
Don’t underestimate how powerful these actions are.
Take a look at the picture below.
These are the sales rankings for my book The Rebel Code on Amazon US. It’s actually a bad sales day. Usually, I’d be floating around the 100,000 ranking and then much higher in the categories related to my genre.
However, even on a bad day, you can see that I’m inside the top 1000 motivational authors in the world.
How did I get there?
There’s nothing particularly special about me and I have no outstanding talents (otherwise I wouldn’t have to work SO damn hard for my success).
I simply took action. Again and again and again.
And while this step won’t win you the race, it will put you in the race (and that’s a lot further than most people ever get).
2. Learn From Your Failures
While achieving your dream is easier than you think, it’s not easy.
You’re going to fail (many times). That’s guaranteed.
Failure is tough and it affects us on many levels.
First, it’s embarrassing. No one wants to be seen falling short of the mark, especially if they’ve told the people around them what they plan to do.
Failure is also depressing. Forget the public embarrassment, the private defeat can be even worse. You worked so hard, dotted every i and crossed every t and yet, it still wasn’t good enough. This can weigh heavily on your soul, causing you to consider giving up.
Finally, and perhaps worst of all, our failures can appear to be proof that our dreams are impossible to achieve. What could be clearer? You tried and it didn’t work out. The naysayers were right.
This is the way most people understand failure. However, you can’t be like most people.
Instead, you have to view failure as an opportunity to learn.
Every time you fail, ask yourself these questions.
- Why did I fail?
- What can I do differently to achieve success?
Take the lessons on board and then bounce back stronger.
What does this mean?
As mentioned, your failures can take an emotional toll. It’s understandable you feel depressed in the aftermath of a crushing defeat.
However, you must become an expert in allowing this feeling to fade away as quickly as possible and then bringing even more energy to your work the next time you try.
- Be more dynamic
- Be more inspired
- Be more positive
This, combined with the knowledge gained from your prior defeat, will enable you to breakthrough and reach the next level.
3. Find A Way To Support Yourself While Working On Your Dream
Let me present you with a couple of likely scenarios for why you, or anyone else, might give up on their dream.
- You save up a sum of money to support yourself for a year. You then quit your job and give yourself 12 months to succeed at your dream. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work out. So, a year later, scared that you’re going to run out of money, you get a similar job to the one you had before. You give up on your dream, telling yourself that you gave it a good shot but that it was impossible to achieve.
- You spend 5 years trying to achieve your dream. A little bit of progress is made but you don’t get anywhere near being able to support yourself through this project alone. So, rationalising that any sane person would stop after such a lengthy period of time, you give up.
Both of these scenarios are reasonable, right?
Perhaps.
However, they’re unnecessary.
YOU DON’T NEED TO GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAM SO LONG AS YOU CAN KEEP FUNDING YOURSELF.
Plus, by continuing, you give yourself almost unlimited opportunities to succeed.
There are many ways to fund your dream.
- I use tennis coaching and hypnotherapy as a platform to support my writing ambitions. These occupations are reasonably well-paid and allow me the flexibility to set my own schedule.
- Arnold Schwarzenegger used appearance fees as a bodybuilder, running a construction company and real estate investments to support himself while aiming to become a Hollywood actor (it took him 7 long years but, because he could provide for himself, there was no need to give up).
- You might use freelancing, consultancy work, side hustling or working part-time/less hours in your current job.
Whatever the case, you must keep 10 to 25 hours a week free to work on your dream. Do this, and you can go on and on in your quest.
Then, with enough time, action taken and lessons learned from your defeats, you WILL succeed.
GET YOUR FREE COURSE
If you want to discover a passion you can make a living from and overcome the fears that are holding you back, check out my free course 30 Days to Escape The System. Click here to get the course right now! (You’ll find the tips on developing belief and self-confidence fascinating!)
A REQUEST
Please consider sharing this blog post if you enjoyed it or found it valuable. You can copy the link and send to a friend or share on your social media by using one of the buttons below. Thank you!
Photo by Martin Wyall on Unsplash
The 10 Essential Questions Every Entrepreneur/Artist/Coach/Side Hustler Needs Answered
According to The Washington Post, 4.2 million people quit their jobs in October 2021.
‘The Great Resignation’ is here.
People are no longer prepared to accept excessive working hours, broken promises and working for nothing more than their companies’ profits and a pay check at the end of each month. Instead, they’re becoming aware that the internet is making it easier to be an entrepreneur, artist, coach or make a living with a combination of side hustles.
You may feel the same way.
Furthermore, you might have been feeling this way for a long time. However, now ‘The Great Resignation’ has legitimised your desire, you’re ready to get started on this exciting journey.
As with every change, it’ll feel daunting. You’ll be uncertain about both yourself and the industry you’re moving into.
With this in mind, read the answers to the following 10 questions. They’ll tell you all you need to know about the entrepreneurial, artistic, coaching and side hustle experience.
Question 1: Should I work off inspiration or stick to a schedule?
Older readers might be familiar with Sylvester Stallone’s story of creating the original Rocky movie. After years spent struggling as an actor, he turned his hand to writing after being inspired by the spirited effort Chuck Wepner put forth in his defeat to then heavyweight champion of the world, Muhammad Ali. Still buzzing from the fight, it took Stallone only three and half days of writing to create the first Rocky script.
So, inspiration is powerful. Use it for ideas and to get you started. However, understand that routine, a smart schedule and the ability to be consistent, day in day out, is the only way to achieve long-term success.
In his ground-breaking business book, The ONE Thing, Gary Keller explains that the key to success in any project is laser like focus. To develop this, he suggests you split your day into 4 hour ‘time blocks’.
Ask yourself, ‘what’s the most important part of my most important project?’
When you have your answer, spend 4 hours every morning (if you work another job during the week, use the weekend) doing this work. Other work related to this project can then be completed in the afternoon or evening but give your most productive hours of the day to your most important goal.
Question 2: How many hours a week should I work on my project?
In an ideal world, you’ll complete five ‘time blocks’ a week.
These will be performed Monday to Friday and you’ll then do less important work in the afternoon or evening.
This ensures you work a minimum of 20 hours a week on your entrepreneurial, artistic, coaching or side hustle business. Of course, this is a minimum and, if you have more time available, you might put in another 20 or 30 hours.
But what if you don’t? What if you have to support yourself with an employed role?
If this is the case then the weekend provides an ideal time to complete two ‘time blocks’. In addition, during the week, you might spend a further 4 hours working on less important tasks (giving you a total of 12 hours a week).
Whatever the case, you must work consistently, for at least 10 hours a week (but preferably more) to build the momentum needed to be successful.
Question 3: Do I need a mentor?
In 2007, I found a writing mentor. He helped me improve my writing, refine the concept for my first book (changing it from a generic self-help manuscript called, How to Live your Dreams, to something with an edge) and provided the positive feedback needed for me to believe in myself.
This transformed my writing and saved me years of trial and error. However, such a successful mentoring partnership isn’t always easy to find.
Some mentors or coaches require thousands, if not tens of thousands, of dollars for you to work with them. They promise the world, talk about their CEO clients and all but guarantee success.
Be wary of such people. No mentor, irrespective of how much hype surrounds them, knows the secret to success.
So, if you feel uncertain about a potential mentor, or uncomfortable about parting with so much cash, then trust your gut and go it alone for the time being.
Question 4: How much money do I need to support myself?
Less than you think.
Most of the privation you’ll experience on your entrepreneurial, artist, coaching or side hustle journey will be psychological. Your lifestyle might have to change but your livelihood won’t be threatened.
Ideally, you’ll have enough money saved up to support yourself for at least a year. If you haven’t, there are some side hustles you can start working that’ll provide you with an immediate income.
Either way, it’s likely you’ll have to make cut backs. Instead of going to the gym, work out at home. Instead of taking three vacations a year, have only one and don’t travel abroad. Cut back on the amount you spend on food, restricting take outs and dining out.
Question 5: Is there a secret to success?
No, so stop looking!
Despite what an overpriced course or business coach is going to tell you, there is no one strategy, tactic or approach that’s going to work all of the time. Furthermore, there isn’t some secret information, that only the top guys and girls in your industry know, that once you discover, will ensure your success.
Instead, work consistently on your business almost every day.
Form partnerships with people in your industry.
Do your best to understand current trends and provide your customers or clients with a product or service they want.
And, above all, believe in yourself, what you’re doing and what you’re creating.
Question 6: At some point, should I consider giving up?
Undoubtedly, the quest to become a successful entrepreneur, artist, coach or side hustler is incredibly difficult and one of the hardest challenges you’ll undertake. As a result, there’ll be numerous moments when you’re faced with situations that appear to demand more than you think you possess.
In such moments, the immediate temptation will be to look for the easy way out and bring an end to the psychological or physical pain you’re experiencing. When this occurs, you must train your mind to dig deeper and resist.
Then, ask yourself these questions and use the answers to get back in the game.
Who do I know in my industry, but haven’t yet approached, who might be able to help?
What new business ideas do I feel really excited about but haven’t yet developed?
What’s one thing I’m scared of doing which I know will have an impact?
Is there some way I can improve my skill-set?
Only if your mind draws a blank on all of these questions, or you have a more inspiring opportunity you want to take, can you consider giving up.
Question 7: How long is it going to take to be successful?
Longer than you think.
It took me four and half years of part-time work to write and release my first book (I thought I’d complete it in 6 months). We tend to overestimate how quickly we can get things done. Therefore, don’t ask yourself how long it’s going to take, ask yourself the following two questions instead.
- Am I enjoying what I’m doing?
- Am I making progress?
If you can answer yes to both then keep going. You’re on the right track.
Question 8: Should I do it all by myself or should I ask for help?
Make no mistake, you will have to be the driving force behind your business.
That being said, avoid the mistake of thinking you don’t need any help.
Building partnerships with other authors has been the most effective strategy in helping me reach a wider audience.
- I’ve gained almost two-thirds of my entire email list from collaborating with other authors on joint book promotions.
- I’ve gained almost one-third of my book sales through partnering with a publishing company on the release of my second book and having author friends, like Thibaut Meurisse, promote my books to their email list.
Build these partnerships by being genuine (don’t be a kiss ass) and having something of value to offer your potential partner.
Question 9: When is the right time to quit my day job?
Back in November of 2013, I took a 4-month sabbatical from my tennis coaching and hypnotherapy business in the hope that, in this short space of time, I could make a such a success from my writing that it would become my full-time occupation.
It didn’t. In fact, I only made a couple of hundred pounds. I was missing the foundations that would have enabled me to successfully make the leap.
Before you quit your job, make sure you’re earning a minimum viable income (the absolute minimum you need to survive) from your new business, artistic work, coaching or side hustle.
If you haven’t reached that level yet, then keep working your day job, or slowly reduce your hours (or go part-time) as you build your additional income.
Question 10: Am I crazy?
Absolutely not!!
It’s very easy to doubt your sanity when you’re going against the grain and following a different path to your peers and parents. There’ll be moments when you look back at the security of your former life and wonder what the hell you’ve done.
When this happens, ignore your doubts.
Your future success will validate your decision.
Until then, remind yourself that humanity needs its game changers, risk takers and innovators. You are part of a small group that prevent the stagnation and suffering that ensues from always following the status quo.
(To watch a video version of this blog post, where I answer these questions in person, click here)
GET YOUR FREE COURSE
If you want to discover a passion you can make a living from and overcome the fears that are holding you back, check out my free course 30 Days to Escape The System. Click here to get the course right now! (You will find the unconventional approach to developing belief and self-confidence fascinating!)
(image taken from CollegeDegrees360 photostream on flickr.com)