Since the age of 11, I’ve felt different.
When I went to secondary school, I found it impossible to fit in.
This feeling intensified as I became a teenager.
Some of my classmates were smoking, drinking and doing drugs.
I wasn’t even curious about trying. However, according to the unwritten rules of being a teenager, the kids who did partake in these activities were “cool”, the top of the social hierarchy (and they got the girls).
It was the same situation when I got to university. However, instead of just a small percentage of the year group partaking in these activities, it was the majority.
But I hadn’t changed.
I couldn’t see the appeal of going out four, five or six nights a week and getting drunk to the point where I felt ill the next day.
I loved having energy, waking up and feeling like I could be productive all day long.
But apparently, that wasn’t cool. Instead, the way to form bonds with other people was through becoming intoxicated to the point where you couldn’t remember what you said or did the night before.
Upon entering the world of work, I couldn’t have felt more different.
Why did everyone accept careers where they had to work 40, 50, 60 or even 70 hours a week at jobs they didn’t enjoy?
Why would they sacrifice their health and vitality to make money for a company that would replace them in an instant if it improved the bottom line?
It seemed soul destroying yet nobody questioned whether there were any alternatives.
Of course, I was wrong for thinking this way. Working yourself into the ground, and doing anything your boss asked, was the way to acquire wealth, status and security.
As I got older, and the issue of settling down and getting married became more relevant, I once again found myself in the minority.
I wondered why it was necessary. If you love someone, and give them your word, then why do you need to sign a legally binding agreement with the government?
Around 42% of marriages end in divorce. Why face the relatively high possibility of financial ruin and emotional devastation just because everybody else is too scared to question a possibly outdated institution?
I soon discovered that thinking this way made me a twisted cynic. Nobody gets bored spending every single day with the same person for 40 plus years and getting married is the only way for your life to be complete.
By 2020, I didn’t need any more evidence of how different I was. However, the Covid pandemic was there to remind me that I’d drifted even further from the majority.
I watched what seemed to be the entire world give in to fear and lose all ability to question authority.
I failed to understand why a virus, which although more deadly than flu wasn’t in the same ballpark as Ebola, could cause an entire world to shut down.
But apparently, I was a covidiot. Because I didn’t blindly accept what the media and authorities were saying, I was naïve and potentially dangerous.
Why highlight all the experiences that have made me feel so different?
I wanted to give you an accurate impression of how disconnected I’ve felt for the majority of my life.
Sometimes I look at the world and can’t believe I’m a part of this reality. Society’s customs, values and preferences seem warped and, as a result, I feel like an alien moving through a strange land.
Have you ever felt this way?
Perhaps you don’t agree with me on every single one of the issues listed above. It’s not important that you do. However, if you’ve also felt the curse of being different then I’ve got a message for you.
Being different made me feel incredibly isolated.
I’d need a calculator to compute the number of Saturday night’s I’ve spent alone, trying to find some way to entertain myself so I didn’t slip into depression.
This, in itself, was pretty soul destroying. However, during that time, I made a fatal error of judgement with even deeper ramifications.
Most people don’t conform because they enjoy the behaviour or activity that society requires them to perform.
Nobody actually likes working 40 to 60 hours a week in a job they find, in parts, stressful and boring.
Ask any smoker or drinker if they enjoyed their first cigarette or pint and they’ll probably tell you it was disgusting.
Why, then, do they do things that go against their nature?
Most people are followers (about 80% of the population according to my new book The Rebel Code). Their primary needs are security and acceptance. They’ll seek to meet these at the expense of freedom, integrity, meaning and even happiness. When it comes to personal motivation, they live their lives moving away from what they fear (the kind of isolation I experienced) rather than being motivated towards what they want.
This leads them to play a role – the hardworking office employee, the diligent husband, the obedient citizen, the sociable drinker – in order to fit in.
Of course, deep down, they don’t enjoy this role. However, they’ll never let on because they fear they’re the only ones who feel this way and would be isolated and rejected if they expressed their concerns.
Why am I explaining this?
It took me a long time to gain the above understanding.
For all of my 20s and a part of my 30s, I had an inferiority complex.
I believed there was something wrong with me for being different. I felt inferior to the masses of people who seemed to have no trouble conforming to society’s standards for working, socialising and thinking.
This was a huge mistake. Nothing could have been further from the truth.
However, because I believed that the majority was right and I was wrong, I didn’t trust myself or my ideas. I didn’t pursue my dreams with enough conviction because part of me thought I was crazy for having them.
This is a terrible way to live and a trap I want you to avoid.
You MUST understand there’s nothing wrong with you for being different.
In fact, if you value these differences and live your life according to them, you’re already braver, and potentially greater, than the people who don’t enjoy conforming but do so because they fear rejection and isolation.
It took me a long time to learn this liberating lesson (too long). However, now I see things clearly.
Why would I ever feel inferior to people who live their lives being driven by fear and are afraid of being true to themselves?
There’s no reason to.
Feeling different can be a curse or it can be a blessing.
If you allow your differences to create bitterness or make you feel inferior, then you could spend your entire life feeling disconnected and misunderstood.
However, if you realise that being different is actually a superpower, it can be your ticket to greatness.
Think of all the time you’ll have to pursue your dreams by not wasting your life socialising in ways which you find unenjoyable.
Think of the confidence you’ll develop by believing in yourself despite being in a minority of one.
Think of all the insights and knowledge you’ll gain by having a unique perspective and not being afraid to explore where it leads.
At times, being different can be isolating, heart breaking and intimidating. However, if you’re brave enough to accept who you are, and value yourself regardless of being in the minority, it can be one of the best things in the world.
Recently, I’ve watched as more and more people reject the “getting wasted” culture, placing greater importance on their health. The same could be said about the “work yourself to death” culture with greater numbers becoming content creators, entrepreneurs, side hustlers and working on their own terms. And, with the pandemic over, people are even beginning to question whether the strict lockdowns were necessary and if everyone being forced to take an experimental vaccine was wise.
The opinions and positions I took, that once made me weird, are becoming more and more accepted.
This has taught me a lesson. I was right to stay true to myself. My only mistake was not doing it with greater conviction.
I’m different. And that’s ok.
You’re different. And that’s ok.
If you want to discover a passion you can make a living from and overcome the fears that are holding you back, check out my free course 30 Days to Escape The System. Click here to get the course right now! (You’ll find the tips on developing belief and self-confidence fascinating!)
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Let me tell you a quick story.
Back in 2002, I had a dream of becoming a published author.
I wanted to write a self-help book. I’ve always been fascinated by the idea of personal transformation and thought it would be amazing if I could inspire other people to change their lives.
At the time, though, I was a clueless university graduate who’d just returned home to his parents’ house. I didn’t have any experience writing books, I didn’t know anyone in the industry and when I checked the Writer’s and Artist’s Yearbook, it said that almost all publishing companies didn’t accept unsolicited submissions.
Not a great start.
Compounding my doubt, and crushing my motivation even further, were the comments I received from the people I talked to.
As you can imagine, all of these comments had a negative impact on my mindset.
I started to believe that my dream was impossible.
As a result, for the next 5 years, I did nothing (or, at least nothing related to working on my dream). However, in 2007, after the breakup of a newly formed relationships, I decided I needed something to bring me back to life.
So, I began writing my self-help book.
At first, progress was slow.
It took me four and half years and four re-writes to finally have a manuscript worthy of public consumption.
After contacting an agent, and being rejected – thereby having my negative beliefs about getting a publishing deal confirmed – I decided I wouldn’t waste any more time following the traditional route.
Instead, I’d use the relatively new technology of Kindle Direct Publishing (KDP) and upload my book onto Amazon.
It took a year and 3 months to sell the first 100 copies.
It took a further 5 years to reach my first one thousandth copy sold.
My progress was slow and, baring some great feedback from readers, there wasn’t much in my publishing experience to indicate that the naysayers were wrong.
However, in 2017, I attended a YesGroup (a personal development group inspired by the teachings of Tony Robbins) meeting in London. At this meeting, an author called Brett Moran took to the stage and gave a great speech.
Afterwards, I bought his book, chatted to him and then went home.
After reading the book, I noticed he had a UK publisher and emailed him to ask if he wouldn’t mind sharing his contact.
Graciously, he agreed and I got in touch with someone at Watkins Media.
My first offering to them was Escape The System. It got rejected (although with seemingly genuine praise which made me think it would be worth contacting them again once I’d written another book).
That I did, the following year and, to my total surprise, they liked my book and offered me a publishing deal.
Fast forward to 2020 and my book, Do The Work You Love, was published. A dream, which everyone had told me was impossible to achieve, came true.
Getting my book published taught me a powerful yet surprising lesson.
Achieving your dreams is easier than you think.
In fact, I believe you have a 66% chance of being successful (watch this video to discover how I came to this conclusion).
There are only 3 things that you need to do (irrespective of what your dream might be).
They are . . .
You may have thought that the competition for whatever you want to do is vast. So vast, in fact, that it’s not even worth trying.
Let me tell you a little secret.
SO DOES EVERYONE ELSE!
What does that mean?
That 90% of your competition isn’t even going to take the first step to realising their dream. They’re going to believe the statements seen in the picture below, keep working their regular jobs and spend their evenings sitting on the sofa watching their favourite Netflix series.
All you have to do to put yourself ahead of 90% of the competition is take action.
Don’t underestimate how powerful these actions are.
Take a look at the picture below.
These are the sales rankings for my book The Rebel Code on Amazon US. It’s actually a bad sales day. Usually, I’d be floating around the 100,000 ranking and then much higher in the categories related to my genre.
However, even on a bad day, you can see that I’m inside the top 1000 motivational authors in the world.
How did I get there?
There’s nothing particularly special about me and I have no outstanding talents (otherwise I wouldn’t have to work SO damn hard for my success).
I simply took action. Again and again and again.
And while this step won’t win you the race, it will put you in the race (and that’s a lot further than most people ever get).
While achieving your dream is easier than you think, it’s not easy.
You’re going to fail (many times). That’s guaranteed.
Failure is tough and it affects us on many levels.
First, it’s embarrassing. No one wants to be seen falling short of the mark, especially if they’ve told the people around them what they plan to do.
Failure is also depressing. Forget the public embarrassment, the private defeat can be even worse. You worked so hard, dotted every i and crossed every t and yet, it still wasn’t good enough. This can weigh heavily on your soul, causing you to consider giving up.
Finally, and perhaps worst of all, our failures can appear to be proof that our dreams are impossible to achieve. What could be clearer? You tried and it didn’t work out. The naysayers were right.
This is the way most people understand failure. However, you can’t be like most people.
Instead, you have to view failure as an opportunity to learn.
Every time you fail, ask yourself these questions.
Take the lessons on board and then bounce back stronger.
What does this mean?
As mentioned, your failures can take an emotional toll. It’s understandable you feel depressed in the aftermath of a crushing defeat.
However, you must become an expert in allowing this feeling to fade away as quickly as possible and then bringing even more energy to your work the next time you try.
This, combined with the knowledge gained from your prior defeat, will enable you to breakthrough and reach the next level.
Let me present you with a couple of likely scenarios for why you, or anyone else, might give up on their dream.
Both of these scenarios are reasonable, right?
Perhaps.
However, they’re unnecessary.
YOU DON’T NEED TO GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAM SO LONG AS YOU CAN KEEP FUNDING YOURSELF.
Plus, by continuing, you give yourself almost unlimited opportunities to succeed.
There are many ways to fund your dream.
Whatever the case, you must keep 10 to 25 hours a week free to work on your dream. Do this, and you can go on and on in your quest.
Then, with enough time, action taken and lessons learned from your defeats, you WILL succeed.
If you want to discover a passion you can make a living from and overcome the fears that are holding you back, check out my free course 30 Days to Escape The System. Click here to get the course right now! (You’ll find the tips on developing belief and self-confidence fascinating!)
Please consider sharing this blog post if you enjoyed it or found it valuable. You can copy the link and send to a friend or share on your social media by using one of the buttons below. Thank you!
Photo by Martin Wyall on Unsplash
Below, is a excerpt from my new book, The Rebel Code: 12 Steps To Find Your Place In The World And Win.
This is just a small section from step 2. To read the whole book and get the complete picture on how to become a happy and successful rebel, look out for The Rebel Code’s release on the 4th December (you can get notified and receive a launch week discount by signing up to my newsletter – click the link below and enter your email where prompted*)
>>>>>I WANT TO BE NOTIFIED ABOUT LAUNCH WEEK DISCOUNT FOR THE REBEL CODE<<<<<<
Alternatively, you can pre-order The Rebel Code on Amazon RIGHT NOW by clicking HERE
*ignore the information for the “30 Days To Escape The System” course. You are on the right page for being added to The Rebel Code launch.
On a foggy Oregon morning, sometime in 1962, Phil Knight set out on a run. It was early and as the day broke, he had a revelation.
He was 24 at the time. After 7 years away from home, gaining both a degree, and a masters, and then spending a year in the Army, he’d returned back to Portland, Oregon. What awaited him, midway through his 20s, was a major life decision regarding his future career.
With a degree in business and an MBA from Stanford University, Knight wasn’t short on options. His father was a journalist and he’d considered following in his footsteps or a career in accounting. However, alongside these professions, there was something else competing for his attention.
Knight had a Crazy Idea (his own words).
While studying for his MBA, he’d completed a paper on importing Japanese running shoes and selling them to the US market. This idea was based on a recent trend he’d noticed where Japanese designed goods, especially cameras, were competing with, and outperforming, imports from other countries. If it worked for cameras, he thought, why couldn’t it work for running shoes?
For Knight, this paper was much more than a means to achieving his MBA. It was the seed of an inspired future. He couldn’t stop thinking about his Crazy Idea yet was uncertain about the possibility of it working as a business.
These thoughts, and more, swirled around in his head while he considered his options.
While pondering his future career, Knight also began developing his own life philosophy. His original passion was running. He’d pursued this throughout high school and university, competing for the Oregon team. However, unlike some of the athletes on the university programme, he fell short of reaching international level.
With a career as an athlete out of the picture, he was looking for some way to capture the excitement of competition with whatever work he chose to do. As a deep thinker, he questioned conventional standards of success. Sure, he wanted to have a wife, kids and a house but beyond that, financial gain didn’t provide much motivation. Instead, it was important that he should leave his mark on the world and for his life to have meaning.
All of these thoughts led him to an exciting conclusion. If he could no longer experience the thrill of competing in a 10,000-meter race then he wanted to make his daily work so engaging that it felt like play.
His mind kept returning to this word. There was too much pain in the world, he rationalised. Furthermore, a person could follow all of society’s rules, work hard, do as they were told and still find they were unfairly treated. Therefore, it was far better to pursue your own self-determined dream that felt like a good fit.
Once this thought process was complete, Knight experienced his revelation (while out on his aforementioned morning run). He was going to start a running shoe company and put everything he had into making it successful. In his memoir Shoe Dog, he recalls an almost ecstatic reaction to this decision,
I was suddenly smiling. Almost laughing. Drenched in sweat, moving as gracefully and effortlessly as I ever had, I saw my Crazy Idea shining up ahead.
Why have I chosen to highlight Phil Knight’s experience?
Primarily because, like Knight, you’re going to face many life-defining decisions on your journey to becoming a successful rebel. In these moments, who, or what, can you turn to for guidance?
Phil Knight followed his heart when choosing his future career. The sensible option would have been to become an accountant or a journalist. He’d have had a good income, been able to support a family and could have avoided the risk of starting a company from scratch. However, despite all these benefits, this path didn’t make him feel alive.
Notice how Knight felt on his morning run, after he’d made the decision to commit to his new business idea. He describes himself as, “suddenly smiling” and, “almost laughing.” The moment seems euphoric.
What could have made him feel this way?
Knight experienced an “inner knowing” about being on the right path and this is why he felt elated. It was his spirit’s way of affirming his choice and that he should proceed with what, until that point, had just been a Crazy Idea.
His life after this moment was far from smooth. He was pushed to breaking point on numerous occasions while trying to establish his running shoe company. However, the decision to follow his heart ultimately led him to become the billionaire owner of one the world’s most popular sports brands.
Such an incredible transformation can only occur when you follow your heart.
Over the course of your life, you might be faced with many important decisions;
On each occasion, there’ll be two voices competing for your attention and offering you guidance. The first of these is your inner voice and the second, society’s.
It’s heart versus head.
How do you know which one to follow?
Leaders and followers, typically, make their major life decisions based on conventional wisdom and are swayed by appeals to logic or what “makes sense.” They’ll be influenced by their parents, teachers, the media, religious leaders, their boss, colleagues and social media. All of these voices will amalgamate into one which they’ll trust over their inner voice (even leaders, in this sense, will act like followers).
Leaders and followers do what’s expected of them, regardless of whether they want to, because they believe,
This thinking might cause them to ignore their true desires when making an important life decision. For example, when choosing a university course, they might select one they have no interest in studying so long as it leads to a clearly defined career path.
When deciding to get married, they might select someone they don’t love (rather than hold out for the real thing) if they’re getting older, facing pressure from their parents and friends to take this step and are concerned about missing their opportunity to marry and have children.
To a degree, this way of making decisions works for the leaders and followers. It helps them avoid difficult existential questions and the disapproval of others. However, the rebel must find an alternative approach.
Rather than listening to society’s voice when making major life decisions, the rebel must heed the call of their inner voice.
This is easy to define yet sometimes hard to hear. It’s your gut instinct, your conscience and what your heart is telling you to do. No matter how uncertain you may be about a decision, it will always be there. Its voice may be muted, drowned out by all the other ones competing for your attention, but if you can develop strong self-awareness, you’ll be able to hear its call.
Of course, there’s nothing wrong with listening to external sources and heeding the advice of others. Sometimes it will be wise to do so. However, relying on them to the exclusion of your inner voice might cause you to overlook your life purpose.
Phil Knight used the term “Crazy Idea” to describe his business plan to sell Japanese imported running shoes to the US market.
It didn’t make sense.
He was 24, had a degree, an MBA and had completed a spell in the army. When it came to succeeding in the job market, he was in a strong position. A host of professions and companies would have been more than happy to offer him a job and pay him handsomely for his time. However, instead of accepting the easier path, his heart was telling him to venture into uncharted waters and start a business that, many would consider, was a shot in the dark.
You may be wondering whether your inner voice can be trusted when making major life decisions.
After all, your heart isn’t always rational. Sometimes, it will urge you to do something that appears to be a risk. It might tell you to quit your job and start a business that has no guarantee of success. Or, it could tell you to leave a marriage and put yourself in a position where you’re on your own and at an age where, typically, it’s harder to find a romantic partner. However, just because your heart appears to be placing you in immediate danger, doesn’t mean the wisdom of its guidance won’t be revealed at a later date.
To pre-order a copy, click here and you’ll be taken through to Amazon.
At the beginning of 2022, I set myself 15 goals. It was going to be the year that I wrote two books and published one, all while purchasing a rental property and securing tenants.
The outcome?
I only achieved 4 of my 15 goals.
By the beginning of October this year, I could tell something was going wrong. I’d already failed with a few of my goals and was way off target with most of the remaining ones.
Frustrated, I knew something had to change.
Salvaging 2022 wasn’t possible but I wanted to set up a system that helped me finish the year strong and be prepared for the best ever 2023.
Browsing through some of my old notes, I came across a quote which enlightened me on the error of my ways and led me to a discovery that has dramatically changed my approach to goal setting (and produced some dramatic results).
While re-reading my notes on Man’s Search for Meaning, I saw the following passage from author and psychiatrist, Victor Frankl,
Don’t aim at success – the more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side-effect of one’s dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one’s surrender to a person other than oneself. Happiness must happen, and the same holds for success: you have to let it happen by not caring about it. I want you to listen to what your conscience commands you to do and go on to carry it out to the best of your knowledge.
This may not seem like your typical goal-setting advice but it lit a switch in my mind.
With all of my previous goals, I’d been aiming at success. I was thinking about how much I could achieve in a year and wanting to set massive targets which, I believed, would inspire me into action. However, setting my goals in this way actually achieved the opposite.
Instead of inspiring me, they left me overwhelmed. Instead of enabling me to achieve, they left me confused.
So, I decided to rip up my previous playbook and start setting goals according to a completely different set of principles.
Here’s what I did . . .
Following Frankl’s advice, I needed to stop aiming at success.
This meant that goals based on book sales, or making a certain amount of money, had to go. They were going to lead me to focus on the outcome and overlook my present situation.
Instead, I had to get lost in my work. I had to allow the passion I feel for inspiring people to break free from the system to guide my efforts without thought to what I might achieve.
In theory, this sounded great. However, I could tell there was a possibility I might be unfocused and jump from one project to another if I followed this approach.
At this point, I remembered another influential book and further refined my goal-setting approach.
Gary Keller’s, The ONE Thing, teaches the reader to focus their energy and attention. He asks you to answer one key question, “What’s the ONE Thing I can do such that by doing it everything else will be easier or unnecessary?”
Pondering this question forced me to apply focus to my passion. Instead of 10 or 15 goals, I had to select one important goal for 2023 that, through achieving it, was going to have the greatest impact on my business and life.
Of course, selecting a certain number of book sales was out of the question (for two reasons).
Therefore, I decided to make my “one thing” a goal that was 99% within my power to achieve (more on this to come).
With this established, I then had to work backwards from my goal and figure out all of the steps in the road that would enable me to get there.
Let’s explore how this is achieved.
My main goal for 2023 is writing and having my 5th book ready to publish (I’m just putting the finishing touches on my 4th).
Here’s how to choose yours and what you should do after that.
Decide upon your main goal for the year.
The criteria for selecting your yearly goal for 2023 are as follows;
Once you’ve decided upon this goal, starting January 1st (or whenever it is you read this blog post), set one goal for the month (and every month after that).
The criteria for choosing these monthly goals are as follows;
Once you’ve decided upon your goal for January, begin setting your goal for the first week of January.
The criteria for choosing weekly goals are as follows;
Once you’ve decided upon your goal for the week, select your goal for each and every day of that week.
The criteria for setting daily goals are as follows;
And there you have it. A goal-setting approach that will increase your motivation, momentum and focus.
If there’s any confusion about how to apply it to your life, here’s the simple version.
Since I’ve adopted this approach (October 2022), I’ve over doubled my productivity. My hope is that it’ll do the same for you (and if you’re struggling to apply any of the points then please let me know in the comments section below and I’ll be happy to help).
Before I go, it’s worth mentioning one last point. If you were to ask me the secret to making this approach work, I would respond that you shouldn’t demand too much of yourself when setting your yearly, monthly, weekly and daily goals.
Elon Musk claimed that the Falcon 1 – Space X’s first ever rocket – would successfully launch and reach orbit by 2003 (Space X was founded in 2002). It took until September of 2008 for this goal to be realised.
Our major goals ALWAYS take longer to achieve than we think.
Therefore, set a series of achievable goals, get used to meeting them every day, week, month and year, and watch your motivation and momentum soar.
Good luck!
If you want to discover a passion you can make a living from and overcome the fears that are holding you back, check out my free course 30 Days to Escape The System. Click here to get the course right now! (You’ll find the tips on developing belief and self-confidence fascinating!)
Recently, I went back to working a 9 to 5.
After 20 years of setting my own hours while working as a tennis coach, hypnotherapist and writer, I decided I needed more structure and certainty in my life.
I was fed up with not knowing when the next lesson, client or book sale was coming. It bothered me that I could end up working at 11 o’clock at night or on Sunday’s.
So, I took the plunge and made a decision to . . . . . .
block out an entire week and work 9 to 5 on finishing my fourth book, The Rebel Code.
Ok, so I wasn’t entirely truthful with the title of this blog post. I haven’t gone and got myself a regular job or revisited my days of working in a sports retail store.
I’m still self-employed and working as a writer. However, the way in which I work changed and I learned a lot from the experience.
For an entire week (Monday to Sunday), I worked from 9am until 5.30pm. I took small, 5-minute mini breaks throughout the day, had 30 minutes at lunch and, other than that, worked consistently for 7 hours.
I now want to share my experiences with you, hoping you might benefit from my unique perspective.
Remember, the last time I worked this way was 20 years ago. As a result, I approached my 9 to 5 with fresh eyes.
Whereas there might be something you’ve overlooked, become blinded to or taken for granted, I was made acutely aware of the impact of working this way during my one-week experiment.
Furthermore, there’s just as much to learn if you’re self-employed.
It would be arrogant to assume working a 9 to 5 is an inferior and less desirable way to work just because, on the surface, it appears to offer less freedom and flexibility. There could be hidden benefits you’ve overlooked.
So, without further ado, here are the discoveries I made from one week of working a 9 to 5.
The first good thing about working a 9 to 5 is that it forces you to get to bed early the night before. I was working from home, so I didn’t have to worry about getting up early for a commute. However, I made sure I was getting ready for bed by 11pm and was asleep before midnight.
Prior to working a 9 to 5, it wasn’t unusual for me to be working (or, more often, wasting time watching YouTube videos) at around midnight and not falling asleep until 1am. Afterall, if my first tennis lesson, or hypnotherapy appointment, wasn’t until 11am the next day, I had no reason to be up early.
This isn’t an efficient way to work. Typically, the time between 11pm and 12am was wasted and, because I was going to bed so late, I wouldn’t start work on my writing until 10am.
I was losing an hour of productivity per day. However, when I started working a 9 to 5, that all changed.
Any delay to my bedtime would mean a delay to my 9am start and a subsequent delay to my 5.30pm finish. Because I faced this time pressure, I became much more efficient with my day. Instead of waking up, taking my time making breakfast, relaxing for a bit, checking my phone and scrolling through social media, I would eat my food and get straight down to work.
Likewise, when evening came, there was no prolonged period of time relaxing on the sofa and checking my phone. I allowed myself an hour for my favourite tv series or a movie and that was it (I kept my phone in the other room to eliminate distractions).
Ironically, although I worked longer than usual (50 hours a week), in some respects, I felt I had more time at my disposal because I wasn’t wasting any of it.
Another benefit to working a 9 to 5 is that it helped me prioritise my most important work.
While working a 9 to 5, my writing came first. Before, I might schedule a game of tennis in the middle of the day and lose two and a half hours (including travel) of productive time. Now, if I wanted to play tennis, or go to the gym, or do anything else, it had to be done after 5.30pm.
This meant that writing got my undivided attention and nothing interrupted this focus.
The results were noticeable.
Although I could have written more, I completed 11,000 words over the course of the week. Compare this to my usual output of around 2000 words per week (although I have the added distractions of teaching tennis lessons and seeing hypnotherapy clients), and you can see the difference this makes.
Mid-way through the afternoon on the Monday, my head started to ache. I’d never spent more than 6 hours writing in a day and, when I did work for longer periods of time, there were always lengthy breaks in between.
Spending close to 7 hours straight staring at a computer screen isn’t healthy.
By the afternoon, I noticed my thought process slowing down. I wasn’t as sharp. The words that I did write (my writing speed also declined) didn’t always make sense and I lost all ability to assess the quality of my work. As a result, although I’d spent 7 hours writing, only 4 to 5 hours represented work of true quality.
Perhaps there’s still value in completing those additional 2 to 3 hours. Afterall, I was getting work done, albeit slowly, and every word written got me one step closer to completing the book. However, I couldn’t help but notice I was a far more inspired writer when following my old way of working.
This led me to the conclusion that working for 7 hours straight (regardless of the work you do), isn’t the best way to be creative and productive.
I’m a more efficient writer when I work for a couple of hours, have a substantial break and then work for another two. This way I’m refreshed and actually looking forward to the writing process.
While working a 9 to 5, I was getting to 3pm and then counting down the remaining two and a half hours until the end of the day. I needed some variety to ignite the creative flow and do my best work.
As already mentioned, I didn’t have to make a commute. From bedroom to writing desk (which you can see in the photo below), takes me 10 seconds. For this reason, I had an additional one to two hours a day at my disposal.
Some people aren’t so fortunate. For them, a 9 to 5 is more like an 8 to 6 (or much worse).
I think if I’d been working such a schedule, it would have soon become intolerable.
Part of what made my experiment enjoyable was that I had the entire evening free. It was great knowing I could shut down my laptop at 5.30pm and then lose myself for at least 5 hours with whatever I wanted to do. However, had I been returning home at 6.30pm, and knowing I needed to be getting ready for bed at 10pm, the novelty of having a free evening would have very quickly worn off.
What does 3 hours a night really give you the time to do?
You might be able to get to the gym, prepare and eat your evening meal and then relax for a little, but that’s it. There’s no time for anything else (especially so if you have children to look after) and this is depressing.
Not just that, though, it’s incredibly unhealthy.
Most office jobs are sedentary. If you don’t walk to work, it’s unlikely you’d be reaching even 1000 steps in a day (let alone the recommended 10,000). This represents a total lack of exercise in your life which, long-term, can be disastrous for your health (Peter Attia, a Canadian Doctor who specialises in longevity, revealed on The Joe Rogan Experience that having very high cardiovascular fitness gives you a 5 fold reduction in all-cause mortality compared with someone of below average fitness).
You NEED to make time for exercise.
This is a non-negotiable. However, if you only get 3 free hours per night, it can be very difficult to do this consistently.
What if you want to meet your boyfriend or girlfriend, go to an event, have something important to take care of or, like many people, need to work overtime? It won’t be possible to do these things and exercise. A sacrifice must be made and, for most people, its often their health.
For your health alone, working a 9 to 5, consistently, for years and decades of your life, is not a feasible way to live.
It’s physically, emotionally and spiritually damaging.
One fundamental ingredient to living a good life is to feel alive.
This is hard to achieve when, every day, you have to be at the same place, at the same time, often doing the same thing.
Although my experiment taught me it’s great to prioritise the work that’s most important to you, and eliminate distractions, this can’t be done at the expense of enjoying your life.
No amount of money would convince me to forgo the variety in my life and work 50 to 80 hours a week at just one thing (even if I loved that thing).
Money is not worth feeling miserable and unhealthy for. Instead, consider taking what’s best about a 9 to 5 schedule (the focus and prioritisation it provides), and adapt it to a working life where you negotiate flexible working hours with your boss or are completely in charge of your time.
Personally, I’ll be doing more 9 to 5 weeks in the future. However, I’ll NEVER work a 9 to 5!!
If you want to discover a passion you can make a living from and overcome the fears that are holding you back, check out my free course 30 Days to Escape The System. Click here to get the course right now! (You’ll find the tips on developing belief and self-confidence fascinating!)
(image taken courtesy of Steve Koukoulas photostream on flickr.com)
Since the dawn of humanity, there have been three types of people – leaders, followers and rebels. Which one are you?
Leaders are driven by a need to acquire and utilise power. They want to control. Whether this drive is born of ego or nature is, sometimes, unclear. Either way, they excel at motivating others (either through fear or encouragement), fighting threats and maintaining cohesion.
Leaders occupy the highest positions within our societies. Sometimes respected, sometimes feared, they are almost always obeyed. They are confident, sure of themselves, and certain that the society, or organisation, in which they operate is right.
They typically, although not always, occupy the top positions in small, medium and large companies and corporations, the military, politics, education, justice, finance and almost any major industry of which you can think. They make ideal managers, CEO’s, presidents, heads of department, generals, entertainers, senior coaches, captains of sports teams and partners of law, accountancy and other professional firms (although you’d be wrong to assume everyone occupying these positions is automatically a leader).
The leaders’ role is to enforce and protect the status quo. They benefit financially, intrinsically and socially from the continuation of the present system. Therefore, they’ll do anything they can to maintain the existing power structures within the society they live or the organisation they work.
Are leaders’ good people? They can be. A minority use their inclination to lead for the protection of the vulnerable and to ensure the organisations, or family units, they govern are done so according to the principles of justice, fairness and integrity. They want to see a company, or other people, thrive and feel it’s their life purpose to facilitate the betterment of all. However, the majority of leaders are driven by ego and this has the unfortunate consequence of ensuring they’ll do anything to maintain their position of power.
These leaders may not set out to harm other people, companies or the planet, but if it’s a choice between losing power or ensuring the right thing is done, then the unscrupulous leader will always protect their position. Even if it means another person’s life is ruined, a company is forced out of business or the planet’s resources are ravaged, the unscrupulous leader won’t hesitate to make such a call.
Good leaders, although still being driven by a need for power, would never go this far. Instead, they’ll ensure the right thing is done even if it contradicts their short-term personal interests. They do this knowing they can always rise again and acquire power through some other job or position.
Leaders are predominantly extroverts. They’re happy to be the loudest voice in a social setting and are equally at ease presenting in front of a group of people or instructing their subordinates on a battle plan or company strategy. They like to entertain, impress and be the centre of attention.
Throughout history, the leader has been fundamental to maintaining stability (which, in turn, facilitates growth and prosperity) and ensuring the rules are obeyed. However, the leader has also been responsible for countless power struggles (leading to war and destruction) and resisting new ideas and change (stunting humanities growth).
Followers are driven by the need for security. Although capable of enjoying themselves, deep down, they feel threatened by life. They fear running out of money, getting ill, losing their job and being ostracised by society, friends, partners and in their place of work.
Followers adopt a ‘safety first’ approach to life, avoiding significant risks unless they are forced to take them. The follower doesn’t set their sights on winning or creating a legacy. Instead, they focus on ‘getting by.’
Followers occupy almost all positions in society. They are, by far, the largest personality group and this means you’ll find them everywhere. You’ll see them in hospitals, working as nurses and doctors and you’ll find them at schools, working as teachers and departmental heads. Major companies and corporations are flooded with followers. They begrudgingly accept excessive working hours, being screwed over when it comes to promotion and the unethical decisions of the leaders they work for, in return for a monthly pay check. The police, the civil service and armed forces are also packed with this personality type. You’ll also find many followers in low skilled roles (factory workers, fast food chain servers, retail assistants and cleaners).
Surprisingly, followers’ sometimes occupy leadership roles. Supervisors and managers are, quite often, followers who have been granted a limited amount of power. They may appear to be leaders, when compared with those below them in the company hierarchy, but they do very little real leading. Instead, they simply carry out the orders of the leaders above.
The follower’s role is to administer the status quo. They’re the glue that binds the system together. Although they don’t maintain order, they facilitate it by being hard working, dependable and, most importantly, limiting the questions they ask.
Are followers’ good people? Some of them are amongst the most kind hearted and nicest people you’ll meet. They don’t ask for much yet are always willing to help. While lacking personal ambition, they’ll do anything for a friend, loved one or relative. However, other followers live their lives wearing a mask.
Underneath some followers apparent selflessness are scared people stymied by societal expectation. Their motivation for helping is not always love. Sometimes, it’s because they believe helping is expected of them and fear being ostracised if they don’t. Amongst their worst traits are a secret desire to see other people fail, an overly negative outlook and blaming others for their own misfortune.
Followers can be either introverts or extroverts. They’re easily led by the company they keep and will do almost anything to ensure they fit in. If they’re in a loud and boisterous group, they’ll make sure their voice is heard. However, if they’re in a quieter environment, these extroverted tendencies will soon disappear as they keep their heads down and do their best not to be noticed.
Throughout history, the follower has been fundamental to the sustenance of the human race, displaying both a tendency to care for others and an ability to keep kingdoms, countries and organisations running relatively smoothly. However, they’ve also been culpable in humanities grossest atrocities, blindly watching or taking part (using the excuse they’re only doing their job) while countless others suffer.
Martin Luther King Jr once said, “In the end we will remember not the words of our enemies but the silence of our friends.” A follower’s concern for their own security can be deadly for others.
Rebels are driven by the need for freedom. They want to live life on their own terms. Unlike leaders, they have no desire for power over others. However, unlike followers, they absolutely will not tolerate another person having power over them (especially if this power is abused).
Money, in of itself, is not important to a rebel. They find little happiness in consumption. However, because they value their freedom so highly, money can become important as a means to an end – granting them the ability to live a self-determined life.
Rebels occupy some of societies most extreme positions. You might find them at the very top as their creativity, and ability to think outside the box, leads them to become billionaire entrepreneurs and pioneers within their industry. Many outstanding writers, musicians and artists are also rebels.
Some rebels campaign on a political issue or enter a life of public service. Their desire to affect change sees them eschew personal gain and give their lives to a cause greater than themselves.
Other rebels shun the limelight and are content with living life on their own terms. These are the owners of small businesses, solopreneurs and the people with two or three side hustles.
Not all rebels are successful. Unfortunately, many experience a life of unrealised potential as they struggle to find their place in the world.
Without any obvious outlets for their creativity and unique perspective, some rebels try to “fit in” with society’s roles and norms. This can lead to them holding down regular jobs and marriages. On the surface, they appear to live “normal,” well-adjusted lives. However, underneath, they can’t shake the feeling they’ve compromised their dreams and authenticity.
Some rebels can’t fake it. They struggle to maintain a job and swing between bouts of unemployment and sporadic work. These intelligent, creative and talented people fall by the wayside because the system doesn’t accommodate anyone who challenges the status quo.
This is the life of the rebel. A few soar and explore limitless horizons but many struggle, finding it impossible to adapt to a world that appears to have no place for their personality and ideas.
The Rebel’s role is to set the agenda for the leaders and followers. Such a statement may seem odd considering the previous paragraphs. However, despite the struggle so many rebels experience, many of them were born for an exceptional life.
A rebel must sense when humanity is stagnating and drag it out of its lethargy by presenting new ideas, innovations and ways of living. Their inquisitive natures, and ingenuity, have been behind almost every major paradigm shift we’ve experienced. They helped us shake off the limiting world view of superstition and embrace science. They understood the damage caused by religion controlling all aspects of society and separated the church from the state. They fought injustices, standing up to the leaders who sought to continue the barbaric practises of torture, slavery and gender repression. Rebels create change and, by doing so, establish a new agenda for the leaders to rule over and the followers to operate within.
Are rebels’ good people? Of all the categories, they are certainly the most misunderstood. Often the rebel is criticised by the leader and the follower for being selfish, aloof and a dreamer. However, this assessment only scratches the surface of the rebel’s complex psyche.
Rebels can have an unbreakable moral code. None of societies temptations can stop them from doing what they feel is right. They’ll always support their friends and loved ones and never let them down. They long for meaningful connections and will sacrifice their own desires if they feel a cause, or person, is worth that sacrifice. However, despite these positive characteristics, the rebel can also be troubled, the consequences of which can be disastrous for others (and themselves).
It’s easy for a rebel to become jaded. Living your life feeling like an alien, and that there’s no place for you in the world, can embitter even the kindest of souls. The rebels mind can be full of recriminations and accusations, pointing the finger at a society that has never embraced them and blaming it for their misfortunes.
Rebels lean towards being introverts but their introversion is unique. A rebel is rarely quiet or timid by nature. In fact, when involved in something they’re passionate about, they come alive with an energy that even the most extroverted leader can’t match. However, disconnect them from this passion and the rebel can appear distant, brooding and lost in their own world.
Rebels are deep thinkers, a trait which has both its rewards and consequences. On the plus side, the rebel’s ability to consider possibilities, products, inventions and creative works in their mind, can be the precursor to real world changes and breakthroughs. At the same time, rebels display a tendency to get lost in their thoughts. Over analysis can stymie their attempts to take action and, if persisted in, lead to depression.
Not all rebels are introverts. Some can be impulsive, spontaneous and thrive off the attention of others. This type of rebel can be incredibly charismatic and disruptive. Their keen sense of intuition, combined with the confidence to follow it, can lead to rapid success and even fame. However, if their energy is not channelled correctly, the extroverted rebel can easily slip into a chaotic form of disruption that leaves leaders, followers and less extroverted rebels picking up the pieces in their wake.
Throughout history, Rebels have been the ones to recognise societal stagnation, saving humanity from a potential downfall by presenting exciting alternatives to the status quo. However, rebels consumed by the darkness of isolation and rejection have always represented a destructive force for humanity (in most cases, only to themselves but, in the extreme and if they attain positions of power, to all they have influence over).
* * * * *
The purpose of these categorisations is not to pit one group against the other. Despite this book being focused on the rebel; the leader and follower should not be hated or belittled. A world full of rebels would be a disaster and could potentially lead to chaos.
This is a concept Jordan Peterson discusses in his book, Beyond Order: 12 More Rules for Life. Although he uses different terminology (the leader is replaced by conservatism and the rebel by creativity), he talks about balancing respect for tradition with the need to embrace change.
He calls this rule, ‘Do not carelessly denigrate social institutions or creative achievement,’ mentioning that,
A certain amount of arbitrary rule-ness must be tolerated – or welcomed, depending on your point of view – to keep the world and its inhabitants together. A certain amount of creativity and rebellion must be tolerated – or welcomed, depending on your point of view – to maintain the process of regeneration.
I disagree with Jordan Peterson on the amount (leaning more towards the need for greater rebellion – especially with the world in its current state), but he makes an excellent point. It takes every type of person to make the world work.
Be proud to be a leader. Accept, and enjoy, being follower. Embrace your rebellious nature. The world will be a better place if we live up to the best elements of our personality traits and develop a positive understanding of the roles we naturally lean towards.
What you’ve just read is an extract from my unreleased book, ‘The Rebel Code: 13 Steps to Succeed in a World where you don’t Fit In.’ If you enjoyed what you read and want a massive discount on the full book when it’s released, enter your email in the box below. This will add you to the Escape The System newsletter, where I’ll communicate with you monthly and email you about the release of the book (with an early bird discount).
(Image used courtesy of Eden, Janine and Jim photostream flickr.com)