Tag: Fulfilling Life

Eat Food, Have Sex, Stay Alive

Lately, I’ve been feeling overwhelmed. It seems like I’m being pulled in 10 different directions and not finding the time to work on my most important goals.

Yesterday, while in this state of disillusionment, I drove to one of my client’s houses to do our weekly tennis lesson. As I joined the queue waiting at the traffic light, I noticed a crow bouncing around on a patch of grass, pecking away at a morsel of food.

“How easy it is for you,” I thought. “No responsibilities, no demands, no places to be or to-do lists to complete. All you need to do is eat food, have sex and stay alive.”

In that moment, I envied the crow.

I longed for its life of simplicity and clarity. However, as I drove off and my mood shifted, I began a deeper contemplation of my own, and the wider human, condition.

Here are my conclusions.

A Crow’s Life

While my assessment of the crow’s life objectives was correct, I made a mistake in thinking that mine (or yours) are any different.

We’re all on this planet to eat food, have sex and stay alive. However, while the crow meets these needs in the most basic of ways, our route is far more complex.

Let’s compare both now.

For the crow, everything is literal.

The food is the morsels, crumbs, worms and bugs they can hunt or scavenge.

When it comes to sex, they’re driven to reproduce as often as possible with as many mates as possible. Of course, they have parenting responsibilities. They must build a nest, incubate their eggs and feed their chicks. However, beyond that, there’s little else to do.

Staying alive means survival. There are predators to contend with, made man hazards to avoid, scarcity of resources and harsh conditions. Every day, the crow must be aware of its surroundings and respond quickly to threats.

And that, in a nutshell, is its life.

The crow is driven by instincts and its success is determined by how long it can survive and how many offspring it can create.

The 3 Pillars of Existence  

Humans don’t have such a strong instinctive drive.

Yes, we have our innate programming but this is often overridden by the societies we live in.

Rather than doing what we want, many end up living the life that’s expected of them. 

As a reader of my newsletter, blog or books, I don’t want that for you.

Using the crow as inspiration, I’m going to show you a way of making life simpler, less stressful, and, ultimately, more fulfilling.

So, keep reading as I extrapolate on the three pillars of existence (food, sex and survival) and explain how they can be applied to the human world.

1. Eat Food

As with the crow, this pillar also has a literal meaning.

You need to consume food to function and live. However, rather than secure this resource as you might have done 10,000 years ago, you must acquire something else first – money.

At this point, we break from the crow and this causes much confusion for the majority of people.

In modern societies, money has become so much more than a means to providing sustenance and shelter.

To many people’s minds, it also provides status, happiness and access to experiences. As a result, we make its acquisition the overriding focus of our lives and forget its true purpose (food and a roof over our heads).

This causes a problem and makes life way more complicated than it needs to be. Instead of earning money to make sure that our basic needs are met, most people work ridiculously long hours in stressful jobs because they’re chasing the commonly held delusion that more money is going to significantly improve their quality of life.

It won’t.

True status isn’t acquired through wealth but your character and accomplishments.

Happiness is achieved through mental well-being, doing what you love and spending time with the people you love (all things that are difficult to experience if you spend most of your time working a job you don’t like to make more money).

And while money can provide access to a wider range of experiences, there is so much that can be enjoyed for free or at a relatively low cost (walks in nature, sex, reading a great book, some forms of travel, playing a sport you enjoy and spending time with friends).

So, what should you do?  

If you want a simpler, more enjoyable and fulfilling life, remember the true purpose of money.

Earn enough, or a little more than necessary, to meet your basic needs. Beyond that, don’t make money the focus of your life.

Of course, this doesn’t mean you’ll forever be confined to having a low income or negligible assets. On the contrary, you can still build wealth while not making the acquisition of money your primary focus.

You chase greater goals (which will be explored in the “Stay Alive” section) and to have a simpler, happier life, money must be put in its rightful place.

2. Have Sex

Humans are complicated animals and, as a result, the second pillar isn’t as straightforward as it would seem.

To have a simpler, happier and more fulfilling life, you shouldn’t be looking to have sex with as many people as possible. Even the crow doesn’t do this. However, it’s undeniable that sex and reproduction are one of the most important aspects of human life.

On a basic level, they’re the meaning of life.

You are here to ensure the continuation of the species (and this is coming from someone who’s a year into IVF with his partner and staring the very real prospect of missing out on being a father in the face). It’s your first, and perhaps foremost, drive. However, it’s not as simple as completing a physical act.

You have about 30 years to get this pillar right.

For the sake of argument, let’s say your reproductive years are from 15 to 45. Of course, I know that men can father children after this age but, even for them, it gets harder (mainly because there’s an absence of fertile women their age and finding a much younger mate requires them to be exceptional in some way). And, of course, I know that 15 is below the age of consent but I’ve picked this age because teenagers will date each other and take the first steps on their journey to finding love and one day becoming parents.

These first steps are important.

On a superficial level, if you’re a woman, you want to maximise your physical beauty and, if you’re a man, you want to rise to the top of your social circle and attain alpha male status.

On a deeper level, if you want to keep a relationship and get to the stage where you might have children with someone, you need to make sure you’re a likeable person with an engaging personality.

Master these elements and you should be ok. However, there’s another aspect to the second pillar of existence that’s equally important.

Unlike the crow, you’re not hatching chicks that’ll only take a year to become independent.

Instead, you must now raise a child, which is an 18-year commitment.

While this may seem burdensome, doing this job well will provide you with some of the happiest and most fulfilling moments of your life.

3. Stay Alive

A human faces different, and more complicated, threats than the crow. While it’s unlikely someone or something is going to try and kill you, there are a variety of silent killers that you need to be aware of.

Your goal should be to live as long a life as possible. On top of being an instinctive drive, it means you get to enjoy the experience of life for longer and watch your children grow and have their own kids. However, this third pillar of existence isn’t just about the number of years you live, it’s also about the quality of those years.

While the crow just has to keep on living, you must make sure you’re actually alive. 

Benjamin Franklin once said, “Most people die at 25 and aren’t buried until they are 75.”

This speaks to the fact that so many give up on their dreams.

By 25, or 30, they’re stuck in the system, playing out a role they believe everyone expects them to fulfil.

Little inspires them. Sure, they can have fun and feel moments of happiness but a good portion of their life is spent going through the motions, meeting all the obligations they believe are unavoidable.

As a result, with the passing of the decades, they die a little more inside. Eventually, they just fade away, losing the will to live once they reach 70 or older.

You must protect against this possibility. Instead of making money, and the fulfilling of societal or familial expectations, the focus of your life, you must seek to live a life that makes you feel alive.

Typically, this means following your dreams.

What challenges, quests and projects make you come alive?

Find a way (whether paid or otherwise) to be involved with these almost every day.

To some degree, doing so will prevent you from getting old. You mind will be stimulated and this will have a positive effect on your body.

Merely surviving isn’t enough. Make sure that you continue growing, learning and succeeding.

Do these three things (eat food, have sex and stay alive) and you’ll enjoy a life well lived.

GET YOUR FREE COURSE  

If you want to discover a passion you can make a living from and overcome the fears that are holding you back, check out my free course 30 Days to Escape The System. Click here to get the course right now! (You’ll find the tips on developing belief and self-confidence fascinating!) 

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