Author: Joe Barnes
3 Little Known Self-Help Books That Are Better Than “Atomic Habits”
I don’t know why Atomic Habits has sold 20 million copies.
I’m dumbfounded by that number.
Sure, I understand that when a book gets popular, it creates momentum. Furthermore, I’m aware that most people are sheep and when they see millions of people buying a book then they automatically assume it’s worthy of a purchase.
Atomic Habits has outsold The 48 Laws Of Power, The Power Of Your Subconscious Mind and Man’s Search For Meaning – all books I consider classics of the field and absolutely worthy of tens of millions of sales.
This fact makes my jaw drop and here’s why.
Atomic Habits
Atomic Habits is a very ordinary book.
It’s not rubbish but neither is it sensational.
It’s readable, has some interesting stories (the start of the book is fascinating) and although a lot of the scientific research cited is far from ground-breaking, it’s good to have it included.
But was there one thing from Atomic Habits that’s impacted my life?
No!
Of course, habits are an important aspect of building a successful life. Furthermore, making small adjustments to your daily routine (as the book advises), with time, can have an exponential impact on your outcomes. However, I knew this going into the book.
As a result, all I was left with was a semi-interesting read that gave me zero “aha” moments. On the quality of the content alone, I have no idea why Atomic Habits has sold 20 million copies.
All three of the books listed above (although these aren’t the ones I’ll focus on today), gave me multiple “aha” moments – sometimes on consecutive pages.
And isn’t that what you’re looking for in a self-help book?
You want your life to be changed (even if it’s only in a small way) or discover a new insight that you didn’t previously know.
For this reason, I can’t get on board the Atomic Habits hype train. In fact, there are so many other books I’d recommend before this one.
For instance, take a look at the three below.
It would be unfair to say they’re totally unknown but they haven’t received the sales they deserve. Furthermore, you won’t have found any of them on the New York Times bestseller list. However, that fact says nothing of the quality of their insights, writing or entertainment value.
I’ll now break them down and let you know why they’re better than Atomic Habits.
1. Never Too Late To Be Great (2012) Tom Butler-Bowdon
This book focuses on what it takes to achieve extraordinary success and reaches a startling conclusion.
Instead of talent or luck being the pre-eminent factors, Butler-Bowdon reveals that it’s time.
With a long enough runway, almost anyone can be massively successful in their chosen field. However, making use of this factor is a struggle for most because they have an immediacy bias.
Society teaches us to want, and expect, results now. It teaches us to think in terms of what we can accomplish in a year rather than what we can do in a decade.
A decade’s worth of commitment, for most, seems too long. As a result, most people dismiss very legitimate opportunities to achieve ground-breaking success.
You can learn, and grow, so much in this period of time. Furthermore, if you take into account the fact that people are living longer, and as a result have decades to spare, it’s possible to succeed at multiple endeavours.
Butler-Bowdon points this out with one of the most engaging examples from the book.
He dedicates a significant portion of a chapter to the story of Ray Kroc and how he brought fast-food chain McDonald’s to the masses (even though he wasn’t the founder).
Kroc was well into his 50s when he did this. He’d had some success with other businesses and he used this experience as a launchpad to reach an entirely new level with McDonald’s.
Another stand out from the book is Butler-Bowdon’s rebuttal of Malcolm Gladwell’s Outliers.
In Gladwell’s book, he attempts to demonstrate how luck, or circumstance, plays a greater role in success than we’d like to believe (citing Bill Gates being born at the right point in history – 1955 and coming of age at the start of the personal computer revolution – and in the right location – North west coast of America where most of the opportunities and influential people in this industry were located – as the primary factors in his mega success).
Butler-Bowdon skilfully picks this theory apart, using the example of Larry Ellison – a self-taught computer programmer who was born 11 years before Bill Gates and on the other side of the country (therefore missing out on all the advantages of being born at the right place and the right time) – as evidence of the holes in Gladwell’s theory.
Why the book is better than Atomic Habits:
- Far greater depth
- Genuinely changes your perspective on an important subject
- Very well written (and this isn’t a criticism of Atomic Habits as it’s one of the books strengths)
2. How To Get Rich (2006) Felix Dennis
Felix Dennis (1947 to 2014) was a publisher and one of the UK’s richest self-made men. Best known as the owner of Maxim, he also took time out to write the little-known classic How To Get Rich.
What sets this book apart is that Dennis has lived what he’s written about. He started with nothing and the lessons he learned along the way are invaluable to anyone seeking greater riches.
Two stand out.
The first is based on the concept of ownership.
Dennis is insistent on the point that, if you want to get rich, you have to own things. Of course, ownership can take many forms – owning stock in a company, owning Bitcoin or other cryptocurrency, owning the controlling interest in a company, owning properties, owning your intellectual property and rights – but being able to say something is yours usually leads to opportunity.
Don’t give up this ownership and don’t think you’re going to get rich without it (for example, earning a high six-figure salary yet having a large mortgage on your house isn’t true riches).
Ownership is so powerful because you can take profits, benefit from asset appreciation and be in control of strategic decisions.
Dennis’s second stand out insight is on the importance of being bold.
You can’t be afraid of failing in public. Be prepared to fall flat on your face and receive the kind of ridicule that goes hand in hand with this failure.
If you can, you’ll become fearless.
This will then enable you to take the kind of risks essential to landing a lucrative deal or making a big enough statement to gain attention for your work.
While these insights are genuinely valuable, what makes them stand out are the personal stories that Dennis includes in How To Get Rich.
His writing is funny, irreverent and brutally honest. The book is part memoir, part personal enrichment manual and this combination makes How To Get Rich hard to put down.
Why the book is better than Atomic Habits:
- Far more entertaining
- The lessons are more powerfully taught and, therefore, stay with you for longer
- The subject mater is inherently more interesting
3. Excuse Me, Your Life Is Waiting (1999) Lynn Grabhorn
The ultimate book on The Law Of Attraction that pre-dates, and is better than, The Secret (and that’s not a knock on The Secret as I thought it was good).
Lynn Grabhorn’s book is packed full of revelations.
She starts off by telling us about how she was a self-help junkie, consuming every new book and experimenting with every new theory on how to improve her life. However, there was a problem.
Nothing she tried made any significant difference to her bank balance, health or general levels of happiness.
Then, one day, through friends, she stumbled upon a simple secret that made everything click.
This secret?
The power of feelings.
You can think about success all you want, picturing yourself with a million dollars in your account but if you can’t feel it’s reality, then it’s just mental masturbation.
The lesson?
Thoughts count for little without feelings to back them up.
Once Lynn learned this, her life transformed and the book documents how this happened and includes a useful 30-day programme for replicating the process.
Of course, The Law Of Attraction hasn’t been proven in the same way that the Law Of Gravity has (although that’s not to say it won’t in the future) and Lynn’s book is light on scientific support. However, her explanations and examples resonate and it’s hard not to believe that she’s onto something (her theory, in a nutshell, is that if you buzz – feel genuinely upbeat, happy and full of energy – then you’ll attract all kinds of positive outcomes into your life).
Like Felix Dennis, Lynn writes in an engaging and, often times, humorous style.
The book is a page turner and is packed with interesting stories about how people have changed their lives through the power of feelings. As a result, I read it with a genuine sense of excitement.
Why the book is better than Atomic Habits:
- More entertaining and engaging
- The insights will have a greater impact on your life (and that’s not to say that habit change lacks substance)
- It contains a more exciting promise
Final Thoughts
I hope you’ve enjoyed this list. Let me know if you’ve already read them, and what you thought, in the comments below.
And, if you’re a fan of Atomic Habits, tell me why my assessment wrong.
Finally, if you like impactful self-help books then you might want to read this list.
THE ONLY 7 SELF-HELP BOOKS YOU NEED TO BECOME A COMPLETE PERSON
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If you want to discover a passion you can make a living from and overcome the fears that are holding you back, check out my free course 30 Days to Escape The System. Click here to get the course right now! (You’ll find the tips on developing belief and self-confidence fascinating!)
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Eat Food, Have Sex, Stay Alive
Lately, I’ve been feeling overwhelmed. It seems like I’m being pulled in 10 different directions and not finding the time to work on my most important goals.
Yesterday, while in this state of disillusionment, I drove to one of my client’s houses to do our weekly tennis lesson. As I joined the queue waiting at the traffic light, I noticed a crow bouncing around on a patch of grass, pecking away at a morsel of food.
“How easy it is for you,” I thought. “No responsibilities, no demands, no places to be or to-do lists to complete. All you need to do is eat food, have sex and stay alive.”
In that moment, I envied the crow.
I longed for its life of simplicity and clarity. However, as I drove off and my mood shifted, I began a deeper contemplation of my own, and the wider human, condition.
Here are my conclusions.
A Crow’s Life
While my assessment of the crow’s life objectives was correct, I made a mistake in thinking that mine (or yours) are any different.
We’re all on this planet to eat food, have sex and stay alive. However, while the crow meets these needs in the most basic of ways, our route is far more complex.
Let’s compare both now.
For the crow, everything is literal.
The food is the morsels, crumbs, worms and bugs they can hunt or scavenge.
When it comes to sex, they’re driven to reproduce as often as possible with as many mates as possible. Of course, they have parenting responsibilities. They must build a nest, incubate their eggs and feed their chicks. However, beyond that, there’s little else to do.
Staying alive means survival. There are predators to contend with, made man hazards to avoid, scarcity of resources and harsh conditions. Every day, the crow must be aware of its surroundings and respond quickly to threats.
And that, in a nutshell, is its life.
The crow is driven by instincts and its success is determined by how long it can survive and how many offspring it can create.
The 3 Pillars of Existence
Humans don’t have such a strong instinctive drive.
Yes, we have our innate programming but this is often overridden by the societies we live in.
Rather than doing what we want, many end up living the life that’s expected of them.
As a reader of my newsletter, blog or books, I don’t want that for you.
Using the crow as inspiration, I’m going to show you a way of making life simpler, less stressful, and, ultimately, more fulfilling.
So, keep reading as I extrapolate on the three pillars of existence (food, sex and survival) and explain how they can be applied to the human world.
1. Eat Food
As with the crow, this pillar also has a literal meaning.
You need to consume food to function and live. However, rather than secure this resource as you might have done 10,000 years ago, you must acquire something else first – money.
At this point, we break from the crow and this causes much confusion for the majority of people.
In modern societies, money has become so much more than a means to providing sustenance and shelter.
To many people’s minds, it also provides status, happiness and access to experiences. As a result, we make its acquisition the overriding focus of our lives and forget its true purpose (food and a roof over our heads).
This causes a problem and makes life way more complicated than it needs to be. Instead of earning money to make sure that our basic needs are met, most people work ridiculously long hours in stressful jobs because they’re chasing the commonly held delusion that more money is going to significantly improve their quality of life.
It won’t.
True status isn’t acquired through wealth but your character and accomplishments.
Happiness is achieved through mental well-being, doing what you love and spending time with the people you love (all things that are difficult to experience if you spend most of your time working a job you don’t like to make more money).
And while money can provide access to a wider range of experiences, there is so much that can be enjoyed for free or at a relatively low cost (walks in nature, sex, reading a great book, some forms of travel, playing a sport you enjoy and spending time with friends).
So, what should you do?
If you want a simpler, more enjoyable and fulfilling life, remember the true purpose of money.
Earn enough, or a little more than necessary, to meet your basic needs. Beyond that, don’t make money the focus of your life.
Of course, this doesn’t mean you’ll forever be confined to having a low income or negligible assets. On the contrary, you can still build wealth while not making the acquisition of money your primary focus.
You chase greater goals (which will be explored in the “Stay Alive” section) and to have a simpler, happier life, money must be put in its rightful place.
2. Have Sex
Humans are complicated animals and, as a result, the second pillar isn’t as straightforward as it would seem.
To have a simpler, happier and more fulfilling life, you shouldn’t be looking to have sex with as many people as possible. Even the crow doesn’t do this. However, it’s undeniable that sex and reproduction are one of the most important aspects of human life.
On a basic level, they’re the meaning of life.
You are here to ensure the continuation of the species (and this is coming from someone who’s a year into IVF with his partner and staring the very real prospect of missing out on being a father in the face). It’s your first, and perhaps foremost, drive. However, it’s not as simple as completing a physical act.
You have about 30 years to get this pillar right.
For the sake of argument, let’s say your reproductive years are from 15 to 45. Of course, I know that men can father children after this age but, even for them, it gets harder (mainly because there’s an absence of fertile women their age and finding a much younger mate requires them to be exceptional in some way). And, of course, I know that 15 is below the age of consent but I’ve picked this age because teenagers will date each other and take the first steps on their journey to finding love and one day becoming parents.
These first steps are important.
On a superficial level, if you’re a woman, you want to maximise your physical beauty and, if you’re a man, you want to rise to the top of your social circle and attain alpha male status.
On a deeper level, if you want to keep a relationship and get to the stage where you might have children with someone, you need to make sure you’re a likeable person with an engaging personality.
Master these elements and you should be ok. However, there’s another aspect to the second pillar of existence that’s equally important.
Unlike the crow, you’re not hatching chicks that’ll only take a year to become independent.
Instead, you must now raise a child, which is an 18-year commitment.
While this may seem burdensome, doing this job well will provide you with some of the happiest and most fulfilling moments of your life.
3. Stay Alive
A human faces different, and more complicated, threats than the crow. While it’s unlikely someone or something is going to try and kill you, there are a variety of silent killers that you need to be aware of.
Your goal should be to live as long a life as possible. On top of being an instinctive drive, it means you get to enjoy the experience of life for longer and watch your children grow and have their own kids. However, this third pillar of existence isn’t just about the number of years you live, it’s also about the quality of those years.
While the crow just has to keep on living, you must make sure you’re actually alive.
Benjamin Franklin once said, “Most people die at 25 and aren’t buried until they are 75.”
This speaks to the fact that so many give up on their dreams.
By 25, or 30, they’re stuck in the system, playing out a role they believe everyone expects them to fulfil.
Little inspires them. Sure, they can have fun and feel moments of happiness but a good portion of their life is spent going through the motions, meeting all the obligations they believe are unavoidable.
As a result, with the passing of the decades, they die a little more inside. Eventually, they just fade away, losing the will to live once they reach 70 or older.
You must protect against this possibility. Instead of making money, and the fulfilling of societal or familial expectations, the focus of your life, you must seek to live a life that makes you feel alive.
Typically, this means following your dreams.
What challenges, quests and projects make you come alive?
Find a way (whether paid or otherwise) to be involved with these almost every day.
To some degree, doing so will prevent you from getting old. You mind will be stimulated and this will have a positive effect on your body.
Merely surviving isn’t enough. Make sure that you continue growing, learning and succeeding.
Do these three things (eat food, have sex and stay alive) and you’ll enjoy a life well lived.
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If you want to discover a passion you can make a living from and overcome the fears that are holding you back, check out my free course 30 Days to Escape The System. Click here to get the course right now! (You’ll find the tips on developing belief and self-confidence fascinating!)
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What I’ve Learned From 20 Years Working As A Hypnotherapist
Exactly 20 years ago to this month (March 2005), I had my first paying hypnotherapy client.
To say I was nervous is an understatement.
My client wanted help to stop smoking and as I prepared the room for the session, I must have thought about leaving ten times.
Prior to this moment, I’d completed 10 months of training with a nationally recognised institute in Regents College, London. The theory they taught was fascinating and made it seem like treating clients would be a seamless experience. However, as I waited for my client to arrive, I felt woefully light on practical experience and painfully aware that my fresh faced 24-year-old appearance wasn’t going to fill the client with confidence in my ability.
I never heard from that client again. I very much doubt she stopped smoking. I feel a little bad that she had to part with her hard-earned money so a novice could get his break but we all have to start somewhere.
Since that inauspicious start, though, I’ve seen hundreds of clients, working thousands of hours on issues as diverse as weight loss, overcoming insomnia, reducing anxiety, and a host of psychosomatic conditions like being unable to look at TV or mobile phone screens without getting splitting headaches.
I’ve also worked in some interesting locations. Throughout my 20 years, I must have operated at 10 different clinics, been flown to Italy to help a client in his home and worked as an in-house hypnotherapist at a major engineering company.
What have I learned from all this experience?
A LOT.
Much like a previous article I wrote about my 20 years’ experience as a tennis coach (click here to read), there should be something here for everyone.
Whether you also want to become a successful therapist or just learn the secrets of a fascinating but little-known field, read on.
1. Leaving your comfort zone is how you grow
Let’s go back to my first session. Although filled with nerves and fumbling my words, I finished the job.
Much of my first two years was spent like this. Of course, I had some successful sessions but in many the client never booked a follow up or returned only to tell me that little to no change had occurred.
This made me doubt my abilities. Pre-session, I could feel the nerves rise in the pit of my stomach and I frequently thought of messaging my clients, making an excuse and cancelling our appointment.
However, I never did.
Instead, I reminded myself of the Woody Allen saying, “80% of success is showing up,” and made sure I take care of this side of the equation.
As a result, kicking and screaming inside, I forced myself into a situation that made me adapt, learn and grow.
To this day, I occasionally feel on edge with new clients (which, I tell myself, is a good thing) and get presented with unusual issues that make me question whether I have the ability to help. However, I’ll always push myself to meet the challenge.
My success has been built on this principle.
2. Improving as a hypnotherapist is straightforward
If you stick with a job long enough, you discover that getting better at it is fairly rudimentary.
You just need to put in the hours.
Even though, like me, you might feel out of your depth when you first start, by turning up, session after session, year after year, experiencing new cases and clients and dealing with unexpected situations (like clients breaking down in tears during hypnosis or their mobile phone ringing while in trance), you’ll be amazed at how much you improve.
There’s nothing glamorous about this. It’s not a hack. However, there’s real power in clocking up the hours.
3. You get the best results when you stop caring about the outcome
This statement needs clarifying.
I ALWAYS push myself to do the best for my clients. They’ve paid for an outcome and I do everything I can to make sure it happens. However, when that session finishes, and the client leaves the clinic, I won’t waste any time worrying about whether I’ve helped.
This wasn’t always the case.
For the first 13 years of my practice, I would die a little inside when a client reported that nothing had happened.
I took it very personally and started doubting myself and the effectiveness of hypnotherapy. However, at around the end of 2017, I stopped giving a damn.
My results improved immediately.
Stopping caring meant that I was more confident with clients, less prone to panic when something went wrong and my self-esteem as a therapist remained untouched.
I would estimate that my success rate with clients has risen from around 50% pre-stopping caring about the outcome, to over 80% since. It’s made a massive difference.
4. Your subconscious is ALWAYS trying to protect you
You want to get on a flight but you’re too scared to fly.
You want to fall asleep but something’s keeping you awake.
You want to deliver a great presentation at work but the words won’t come out.
Why do we keep sabotaging our best intentions?
You must understand that your subconscious has zero ability to rationalise. Instead, if something bad or traumatic has happened in the past, connected to the thing you’re trying to do, it will make the oftentimes false connection that that particular activity is a threat which needs to be avoided at all costs.
How does it get you to avoid the threat?
By pumping your body full of norepinephrine (the chemical associated with anxiety), and if that doesn’t work, perhaps a full-on panic attack.
It’s your bodies way of telling you to get the hell out of there.
Understanding this should ease some of the frustration you experience. You no longer need to beat yourself up over your perceived failures.
What you need to do next is update your subconscious mind by reframing the original scary/traumatic event that caused the problem so you’re no longer trapped by your bodies threat response. This can sometimes be done through self-hypnosis but it’s probably more effective to seek a therapist for help.
5. One of the most powerful hypnotic words is “notice”
“As you notice the sound of my voice you might be surprised to find that every word and sentence I speak helps you to relax more deeply.”
“As you notice the sound of the music in the background you might find yourself slipping deeper into a peaceful state.”
The word “notice” can draw a client’s attention to something in their environment they find relaxing. It also has a deeper use.
Life can be a mixture of positive and negative events but which one of those you more frequently notice will have a huge impact on determining your happiness and success.
Do you notice all the successes you had this week or do you focus on the one or two failures?
Do you notice the 10 lbs you lost over the last month or do you focus on the fact you still have 50 to go?
By using the word “notice” in trance, you can shift the client’s subconscious to focus on the factors that’ll make them feel good about changing a bad habit (how much cleaner and healthier their lungs feel after stopping smoking) or confident in their abilities (the audience members responding enthusiastically to their speech).
You can also use this word in your own life. Simply “notice” all the reasons you have to be happy and “notice” all the successes you’ve had in the past that give you reason to believe in yourself today.
6. Keeping existing clients is easier than acquiring new ones
I used to think the key to getting new clients was spending lots of money on advertising. However, when I acquired one, I’d always feel apprehensive about asking them to book more sessions because I didn’t want to come across as pushy.
This was a mistake. I was both leaving money on the table and neglecting client care.
Now, I’ll always ask a client whether they want to book another session (when the therapy has finished) or give them the other option of me emailing them in a few days’ time to arrange the next appointment.
Furthermore, if a client makes an initial enquiry and I email them back and don’t hear anything from them, I’ll send out a follow up email asking if they’ve received the first.
This is because they’re a warm lead (they’ve already displayed an interest in my services) and it’ll be far easier to convert them into a paying client (even if they have some doubts) than to pay for advertising which, over 95% of the time, will be reaching people with no interest or need of hypnotherapy.
Take care of your clients, follow up with them, do a great session and you’ll be amazed at how they become a source for more business through their recommendations and repeat sessions.
7. Limiting beliefs really do hold you back
If you recall the story that started this blog post you’ll remember that I referenced my concerns about being a fresh faced 24-year-old hypnotherapist.
This wasn’t a throw away comment. It was something I was painfully aware of whenever I’d be treating clients 10 years, or more, older than me (which was most of the time).
“How is this young kid going to help me solve my issues? What life experience has he had?” is what I’d imagine them all thinking.
As a result of these negative thoughts, a limiting belief formed. I convinced myself I was too young to be taken seriously as a hypnotherapist.
The outcome?
I spent the early years of my career struggling, both when it came to producing results and building a business.
I wasn’t alone, though, in having limiting beliefs. Most of my clients were there for the exact same reason.
As I got better at helping them and shedding my own limitations, I had a realisation.
OUR LIMITING BELIEFS AREN’T TRUE.
They’re just the product of an overactive imagination making false assumptions. In fact, they’re nonsense.
Furthermore, there’ll be an authority figure in your life (parent, teacher, media, boss, doctor) who’ll tell you that you’re not good enough or that there’s something wrong with you. However, part of maturing and developing critical thinking skills is realising that these authority figures are often flawed, incorrect or have an agenda in keeping you down.
My 20 years experience of working as a hypnotherapist has taught me that you should ignore their words (unless they’re giving you constructive advice or help).
You always have been, and still are today, good enough for whatever you want to do.
GET YOUR FREE COURSE
If you want to discover a passion you can make a living from and overcome the fears that are holding you back, check out my free course 30 Days to Escape The System. Click here to get the course right now! (You’ll find the tips on developing belief and self-confidence fascinating!)
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THE ONLY 7 SELF-HELP BOOKS YOU NEED TO BECOME A COMPLETE PERSON
Can you remember the Power Rangers?
I wasn’t a big fan of this 90s kids TV program but I have a vague recollection of each of the five rangers morphing to form one giant fighting machine (called a Megazord).
It seemed every episode ended that way. The individual rangers couldn’t defeat whatever comically designed live-action suitmation monster they were facing that week so they had to unify. Then, once combined, they were unstoppable and always won the day.
I want to turn you into a Megazord. However, rather than do it with a mastery of weapons, robotics or magic, I’m going to use books.
I’m going to present you with 7 self-help books to read which, once combined and acted upon, will provide all the life skills needed to become a complete person.
Just as the Power Rangers had a unique colour and skill, these books will focus on different areas of your development.
They’ll be a book on mastering the law of attraction, one on productivity, a couple on human relations, one on mental clarity, something on developing inner strength and more.
Read these books multiple times, put their advice into action and you’ll have the wisdom of a Buddha, the charisma of a Hollywood star and the dynamism of a billionaire entrepreneur.
Let’s begin.
1. The Power Of Now (Eckhart Tolle)
Poise and peace of mind are the words that best describe the benefits of assimilating the knowledge contained in this book.
The key concept is simple but incredibly powerful.
All anxiety is caused by worries about the future.
All depression is caused by dwelling on the mistakes and trauma of the past.
Therefore, if you can train your mind to stay present (in the now) then you’ll be happier, appreciate life more, have greater energy and perform better in pressure situations.
The Power Of Now teaches you to disassociate from, and even switch off, the parts of your mind that drain you with constant mental chatter and negative self-talk.
Free from these, you’ll have the ability to focus your mind on the goals that are important to you and perhaps more importantly, live with a calm and serene disposition.
2. The ONE Thing (Gary Keller)
There are many obstacles preventing you from creating the life you want. Of all of them, time seems to present the greatest barrier. There just aren’t enough hours in the day.
You may have to work a full-time job, have family commitments, a social life AND be trying to build a business on the side.
This is where The ONE Thing shows its value.
It teaches you how to become a productivity machine.
This is achieved by narrowing your focus. There will be key areas of your work that will make the most impact and your task is to identify what they are.
Once found, concentrate on completing just one of these every day.
Try to work in time blocks. Carve out 4 hours as early in the day as possible to work exclusively on your most impactful task and leave emails and other less important activities for later (if you can’t find 4 hours because you work a full-time job, then 1 or 2 will suffice).
This is the path to productivity. Follow the blueprint laid out in The ONE Thing and what once seemed like an impossible workload will become manageable as you double or treble your efficiency.
3. The Power Of Your Subconscious Mind (Joseph Murphy)
Over the years, countless books on the law of attraction have been written but this 1962 classic stands the test of time.
In fact, calling it a “law of attraction” book does it a disservice.
This is a deep dive into the metaphysical, consciousness and the best aspects of The Bible (although don’t think you have to be a Christian to enjoy it, I’m not).
It asks and answers the question, “What force determines the direction and outcomes of my life?”
Is it random occurrences, the environment you’re born into or the genes you inherit?
The answer is, none of the above. A belief, held with great enough conviction and backed by strong emotions (i.e. can you feel the reality of your dreams coming true?) is what will determine the direction of your life.
That belief might be negative or positive. It doesn’t matter. Your subconscious mind will faithfully obey your conscious mind and give you the energy (or lack of), ideas (or lack of) and put you on the path to meeting the right people (or remaining isolated) to make sure you realise your habitual thinking.
Of course, the book shows you the techniques to ensure you’re using the power of your subconscious mind positively and, having mastered these, you’ll be successful at whatever it is you choose to do.
4. The Celestine Prophecy (James Redfield)
What will you choose to do, though? How are you going to navigate your way through life?
The Celestine Prophecy provides an answer.
This book is unlike the others on the list because it’s a work of fiction. It’s in the same mould as The Alchemist although I feel it contains clearer and more impactful lessons and a more interesting narrative.
The narrator sets off on a journey to the Peruvian jungle in search of an ancient manuscript that will spark the next evolution in human consciousness, ushering in an age of peace and prosperity.
On this journey, he learns about the concept of synchronicity and how this is the key to finding your path through life.
If you can raise your energy to a sufficient level (the book shows you how), then people, ideas and events will be put on your path to provide a direction for you to follow.
You’ll discover your purpose in life (which is ever evolving) and can begin to move towards fulfilling it.
5. How To Win Friends And Influence People (Dale Carnegie)
Whatever that purpose might be, you can’t get around the fact that success in achieving it will largely depend on your ability to interact with other people.
How are you going to master this skill?
The original self-help classic is the answer.
Carnegie’s understanding of psychology and human relations is far reaching. He gets to the core of what motives people to take action and how to get the best out of them.
For example, when seeking to win someone over, never criticise them. Instead, show genuine appreciation for the qualities they possess (everyone has something you can find praiseworthy).
Furthermore, don’t talk about yourself all the time. Instead, become a good listener and frame anything you’re selling or promoting (whether that’s through a website, an advert or a product description) in a way that’ll benefit the consumer or solve their problem.
6. The 48 Laws Of Power (Robert Greene)
How To Win Friends And Influence People’s darker and more cynical younger brother.
As useful as the aforementioned book is, it might not be enough when it comes to developing your skills of persuasion.
The world’s not all sunshine and rainbows. Succeeding at any kind of scale will require you to operate in a cutthroat environment where everyone is out for themselves.
In such a world, being a good person won’t be enough. You’re going to have to learn how to manipulate other people and situations to your advantage and this is what The 48 Laws Of Power teaches.
Some of Robert Greene’s most impactful laws are;
- Law 6: Court attention at all costs (attention is currency so make something about you stand out and stay in other people’s minds).
- Law 13: When asking for help, appeal to people’s self-interest, never their mercy or gratitude (nobody really cares about you, they want to know what you can do for them!)
- Law 32: Play to people’s fantasies (don’t sell people a harsh truth when marketing your product or cause but, instead, let them believe their desires can be achieved without struggle).
7. Man’s Search For Meaning (Viktor Frankl)
To be a complete person, you must have strong foundations and none are stronger than those rooted in meaning.
This is a powerful truth Austrian psychiatrist Viktor Frankl discovered after surviving 3 years in Nazi concentration camps.
He estimated that he had a 1 in 20 chance of survival but then noticed a strange phenomenon amongst the few that remained alive – they all had something to live for.
If you can develop this, he concluded, then it’s possible to get through almost any difficulty you face, including loneliness, illness, physical depravation and failure.
How to create this meaning?
Frankl suggests three sources;
- Love – people find meaning through their most important relationships.
- Work – if you have a mission you’re passionate about this will keep you going.
- Personal dignity – if you commit to bearing your suffering with dignity and refuse to lose this despite what the world throws at you, it can give you something to hold on to during the hard times.
That’s the point of Frankl’s book.
There will be hard times.
Even with all the skills and knowledge you’ve developed from the previous six books, life will throw you curve balls and you need a strong foundation to keep you going when this occurs.
The 8th Book?
After I finished writing this blog post, I couldn’t help but feel something was missing. However, it wasn’t a book.
Instead, it was an aspect of being a complete person that isn’t covered by the previous seven classics – HABITS.
Habits are incredibly powerful, being the small daily actions you take that eventually create a lifetime of greatness.
The obvious go-to book on this subject is Atomic Habits by James Clear. However, I had a problem listing it with the other books because I don’t think it’s good enough.
That’s not to say I think it’s a bad book, it just fails to offer anything lifechanging or even a set of habits that might get you closer to your goals.
So, instead, I’ll leave you with a link to my blog post on the 7 daily habits that will create the life of your dreams. In return, perhaps you could suggest some great books on habits in the comments section below.
Photo by Tom Hermans on Unsplash
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How The Story You Keep Telling Yourself Is Ruining Your Life
About a year ago, I reconnected with an old school friend.
Although we’d met a few times since leaving, it was the first time in about 15 years that we’d seen each other.
We had a game of tennis, caught up a little, sent some messages on WhatsApp and that was that. However, a couple of months later, when visiting my parents, I heard that my mum had been speaking with his.
What she told me about their conversation shocked me a little and also got me thinking.
There was much my old classmate hadn’t told me.
Even though he was over 40 years old, he was renting a room in a shared house with four other occupants and receiving benefits from the government (this was despite him growing up in a very wealthy family – they had a small lake in their back garden!).
Before we go any further, I must state there’s nothing wrong with renting or receiving government benefits, even if you’re over 40. You might be working on your dream and cutting back on expenses or have temporarily fallen on hard times after a divorce, so I pass no judgment on this living situation. However, neither of these situations applied to my old classmate.
Here’s what did.
The Story
There was a story he kept telling.
When back at school and just after we left, he kept talking about how much he resented his parents.
He was the younger of two brothers and, apparently, the elder was favoured and given the support and concessions he wasn’t. I was even witness to him having arguments with his mum and swearing at her in a way that was uncomfortable to watch.
At school, he didn’t do well academically. Immediately after, he spent a lot of time smoking weed, playing computer games and watching James Bond films.
At this point, my contact with him went from infrequent to non-existent, so I don’t know much about his adult years. However, I distinctly remember him blaming a lot of his failures on his parents and this perceived dynamic where the elder brother was the favourite and he was overlooked.
Hearing this exact same story back from my mum, after she’d met his mum, gave me pause for thought.
In fact, I couldn’t believe it.
It was over 20 years later and my old classmate was still telling “the story,” using it as a justification for his failures and current predicament.
My Story
I spent the rest of that evening in a reflective mood.
I felt sorry for my old friend. Even though we aren’t close, it was sad to hear he’d ended up this way. He was broke, had no job or purpose for his life, was overweight, drank too much and was still going around telling himself and others that his parents had ruined his life.
I couldn’t see the benefit of holding onto this “story.”
Was the absolution of personal responsibility for one’s shortcomings really worth tolerating a shitty life for?
I didn’t think so. However, as I continued the drive home from my parents, I realised he wasn’t the only one telling himself a story.
I also have one.
I’ve been unaware of it until fairly recently but it’s something I’ve been telling myself since I was 11 years old.
It goes something like this.
The world is a horrible place.
It’s full of greedy, materialistic and superficial people. Everyone is out for themselves and nobody gives a shit about you.
This story has its origins in my move to secondary school. I left a small school, with a class of 20 kids, most of whom were my friends, to what seemed like a huge school (but, in reality, was more middle sized) where I felt totally out of place.
I struggled to fit in. Furthermore, it got worse when I went to university and couldn’t stand the excessive drinking culture that was prevalent in the UK at the turn of the millennium.
Post-university, I was totally uninspired by the array of meaningless jobs I was being presented with as potential graduate careers. To my mind, companies and corporations used people, chewing them up and spitting them out with little more than enough to cover living in an overpriced society.
All of these experiences compounded my “story” and developed a need to shelter from the world.
Part of the upshot of this has been positive.
I now live in a semi-isolated development that backs onto some woodland, am my own boss, set my own hours and live a self-determined life. It’s great. However, there’s another side to my story that isn’t so rosy.
Every 6 months, I grade my life out of 10 in four categories – Health, Wealth, Happiness and Relationships. While the first three categories are 10s or 9s, the relationship one always lags some way behind.
After the revelation about my old school friend, I started to understand why.
How are my relationships going to improve when I keep telling myself the world is a cold and horrible place and most people either aren’t worth my time or should be avoided?
They won’t. All they’ll do is stagnate because of the aloofness I’ve developed to protect myself.
Lost Childhood
The experience with my old school friend and discovering my own “story” made me wonder about the wider implications of this concept.
Do we all have a story?
My mind immediately turned to the example of famous person who clearly did.
Michael Jackson.
What was he always saying, in numerous interviews, towards the end of his career and life?
Whether he was talking to Oprah, Martin Bashir or Diane Sawyer, he would keep repeating the same story.
He never had a childhood.
While many kids were out playing and having fun with their friends, he was couped up in a recording studio or performing on stage.
He wasn’t allowed to be a child. Instead, from a young age, he was working like an adult.
As a result of missing out on his childhood, he felt compelled to recreate it in his older years. His home was full of fair ground rides, arcades, candy stores and was frequently visited by children.
That’s fine, you might think, he had the right to live life the way he chose. However, didn’t he then miss out on his adulthood by compensating for the story he kept telling himself about having no childhood?
In his autobiography, Moonwalk, he writes about being the loneliest man in the world. Furthermore, he was unable to form a lasting relationship with either of the women he married, couldn’t sleep in his later years and was addicted to medication to cope with the pain he was going through.
On the surface, his story may have seemed justified but, underneath, it was stunting his development.
Isn’t that what all of our stories do?
We keep telling ourselves that our lives have to be a certain way because of something that happened to us in our formative years. This story then protects us in some way (it absolves us from personal responsibility, keeps us from getting hurt or makes up for something we believe we lost). However, by allowing it to rule our lives, we have to live as lesser versions of ourselves.
Conclusion
Having reached this conclusion, you might think, “why would anyone want to hold onto their ‘story’ regardless of the protection if offers?”
The difficulty is, though, that letting go of your story is not that simple.
Why?
Because every story has an element of truth.
My old school friend probably was overlooked by his parents (to a degree).
I’m probably partially right in my assessment of the world.
Michael Jackson’s childhood wasn’t like any other child’s.
As a result, we don’t see our story for what it is – something we keep telling ourselves that may or may not be relevant anymore – but understand it as a fixed part of our being.
From this perspective, our stories are impossible to give up. We have to keep living by them.
However, I don’t want to anymore.
If I want to move into the next stage of my life and go from sheltered bliss to influential success then I have to change the way I view the world and other people.
I’ve got to start telling myself a new story about how the world is a welcoming place and all people have good in them.
Why not?
If the way you understand your life is just a story of you keep telling yourself then why not create one that’ll allow you to flourish?
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Don’t end up Sleeping in Bed with your Mommy – Escape the System
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9 Quotes From Rebel CEO’s To Unleash Your Inner Innovator
You can’t be an innovator if you follow the crowd.
Instead, you have to think differently and even see the world differently.
If you have a deeply held desire to do something significant with your life then you have to throw away the rule book.
Forget your degrees and MBA’s. As you’ll discover from the following 9 quotes, from three rebel CEO’s, it’s the people who challenge conventional thinking that end up shaping the world.
Take note of their words and apply them to your life.
Steve Jobs
The former Apple CEO was the innovator behind some of the world’s most popular tech products today.
Here are three of his most powerful quotes.
1. Here’s to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes . . . because the ones who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.
Why is it crazy to think you can change the world?
Because you’re just one insignificant individual.
Who are you to think you know better than powerful institutions and leaders in positions of power?
You’re nothing (or at least this is what the system wants you to believe).
And most people do, believing it’s folly or arrogance to think anything else.
So, if you happen to be “crazy enough” to question this “truth” then you’ll discover that competition is scarce on the cutting edge of innovation.
You CAN change the world simply because 99% of people aren’t going to try.
2. People think focus is saying yes to the thing you’ve got to focus on. But that’s not what it means at all. It means saying no to the 100 other good ideas that there are. You have to pick carefully.
Most would be entrepreneurs, artists and creators make this mistake.
There’s a big difference between being busy and being productive.
Most people can find some area of their business to work on for 8 hours a day. However, can you find that one task which, by focusing on, is going to bring you 80% of your results?
Learn to say no to everything else.
3. I would rather gamble on our vision than create a “me, too” product.
There are two approaches to creating products.
You can analyse the market, see what’s popular and create a product based on this feedback.
This product will be boring and unoriginal but it might sell relatively well based on the fact there’s a tried and tested market for what you’re creating. For example, see the plethora of meaningless superhero movies that have hit the big screen from around 2005 until now. They all do relatively well financially (although that’s beginning to change) but nobody is going to remember them 30 years from now.
The other approach is creating a product you believe is going to be of great service to the world and is of deep personal significance to you (typically because it’s part of a vision you’ve had).
As Steve Jobs says, this is more of a gamble. There might not be a market for what you’re creating. However, if what you’re creating anticipates what people need, you could change the world with your work (see Apple creating the iPhone or George Lucas making first Star Wars movie).
Elon Musk
The CEO of Tesla and the owner of SpaceX has disrupted the status quo of entire industries, proving that a rebel can take on established interests and win.
Here are three of his most powerful quotes.
4. When something is important enough, you do it even if the odds are not in your favour.
Sometimes innovation is NOT rational.
One of two situations can occur. Either you do your market research and it indicates there isn’t a place for your product or there just seem to be too many obstacles and regulations blocking your path.
If this is the case, what do you do?
Give up on your dream?
Not if you believe it’s the right thing to do.
Tesla should never have been a success. For over a decade they operated at a loss and required huge government subsidies to stay afloat. However, because Musk believed that switching to renewable energy was an important enough quest, he forged ahead irrespective of the odds not being in his favour.
5. Being an entrepreneur is like eating glass and staring into the abyss.
This quote makes me laugh.
It speaks to the struggles that every entrepreneur will face when trying to turn their vision into reality.
Understand that the innovators journey is far harder than the followers or even the leaders. They obey, and rule over, the status quo. It falls on your shoulders to change it.
Realise that you’re going to face some soul searching moments. Perhaps many of them. However, you should also understand that you’re not alone in this experience and that you can come face to face with the abyss yet still succeed.
6. I’ve not read any books on time management.
Although there’s nothing wrong with reading books, taking courses and paying for 1 to 1 coaching, they are NOT a pre-requisite to success.
Musk is legendary for his productive output, simultaneously running a car company, a space exploration company and a social media platform. However, he dropped out of Stanford University after two days and doesn’t seem to be a big believer in listening to guru’s or experts.
Instead, he seems to value learning on the job.
Sometimes this is best approach to take.
Throw yourself into your work, keep refining your skills and product and learn from your failures. You don’t need much more than that.
Richard Branson
The founder of the Virgin Group has had success in the music, airline and telecommunications industries despite having little formal education.
Here are three of his most powerful quotes.
7. You don’t learn to walk by following the rules. You learn by doing and by falling over.
This is a much overlooked fact. No one presents a baby with a list of steps so they can master walking.
Instead, the baby takes instinctive action and then learns through experience.
Why wouldn’t life and business work the same way?
Discovering this insight is a breath of fresh air. It means there’s no barrier to entry.
Richard Branson didn’t study a course on how to run a record company (he famously left school at 16) yet he became successful with Virgin Records at the age of 22.
Of course, sometimes it can help to learn from external sources but there’s no substitute for the lessons learned through personal experience.
8. Fun is one of the most important – and underrated – ingredients in any successful venture. If you’re not having fun it’s probably time to call it quits and try something else.
The world of business and work is way too serious. There are too many rules and too much pressure.
Do you want to spend the remaining decades of your working life feeling uptight, stressed and bored?
Surely not.
So take heed of Branson’s advice and bring the fun into your place of work.
The reason fun is such an important quality is because it’s a close cousin to inspiration.
Find ways to enjoy yourself at work and you’ll spark your creative mind and work at a faster pace.
Furthermore, if you don’t enjoy what you’re doing then why do it?
Life is too short to make money your sole motivation for working.
Leave your job if that’s the case and find work that improves your quality of life.
9. Business opportunities are like buses; there’s always another one coming along.
Don’t ever feel like you’ve missed the boat. You live in a universe of infinite opportunity.
Look at Richard Branson. The Virgin Group has over 40 different companies, including a wine club, health clubs and a publishing company.
If Branson had missed out on any of these opportunities do you think he’d have spent the rest of his life ruing his loss?
No, he’d have just moved on and found a new industry to invest in.
You can do the same.
Someone else may have already succeeded with an idea similar to yours but that doesn’t exclude you from having a new one.
Technology, culture and trends are changing all the time.
If you keep your finger on the pulse, you’ll be able to take advantage of the opportunities this creates.
Conclusion
These 9 quotes have been included to fill you with the belief that you CAN succeed.
There is an innovator within you. Sometimes all it takes to bring it out is rejecting conventional thinking and giving yourself the permission to go for what you want.
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Struggling To Make A Breakthrough In Your Life? Use My 3 Step Formula To Reach The Next Level
By the time I turned 26, I hadn’t had a date in 7 years.
Let me be clear on what this means.
That’s not going without a date but picking up girls in nightclubs. No, I literally hadn’t had any physical contact with a girl for 7 long years.
How do you imagine this made me feel as a young man, supposedly in the prime of his life?
One word suffices.
DESPERATE.
I was desperate on every level. I was desperate for sex, I was desperate for connection, I was desperate to say I had a girlfriend and I was desperate not to get left behind (it felt like time was running out on my love life).
What impact do you think this feeling of desperation had on my ability to get a date?
Let’s just say it didn’t help.
I probably reeked of neediness and it probably put a lot of women off. However, by the time I’d hit 29, my fortunes changed and I had no problem getting dates and attracting women.
What happened?
I had a breakthrough.
Something within me had fundamentally shifted and I was showing up in the world as a completely different person. And, where once all I experienced was failure, this new person attracted success.
How was this possible?
Although I didn’t know it at the time, I’d hit upon a formula that transformed my fortunes.
It was only later, as I replicated this breakthrough with my hypnotherapy business, that I began to realise what I’d done and codify the process.
Now, I want to share this formula with you.
THE 3 STEP BREAKTHROUGH FORMULA
Currently, you might be feeling similar to the elephant in the picture below.
No matter what you try, you just can’t seem to reach the next level in your life or business.
The good news is, though, that’s all about to change.
Below, I’ll share with you my 3-step formula for creating breakthroughs. Begin using it today and it won’t be long before you see a complete turnaround in your life and fortunes.
Before I reveal this formula, though, I want warn you about a series of mistakes so many people make when they’re feeling trapped and unsuccessfully trying to reach the next level in their life.
I call it “The 3 Step Failure System” and it goes like this.
- Do the same thing as before but try harder. What was it Einstein said about insanity? I’m sure it was words to the effect of doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.
Step 1 is the easiest pattern to fall into. Probably from the conditioning we received at school, we believe trying harder and exerting more effort is the way to create a breakthrough.
It’s not. In fact, it often brings about the reverse of what you intended as the extra effort reveals a lack of belief in your ability to succeed.
Don’t fall into this trap. You may feel like you’re doing something useful but it’s likely you’ll end up more frustrated and confused. - Search for the secret to success. You might look at another author, influencer, coach etc . . . who’s in a position you want to occupy, and think, “he or she must know something I don’t. If I knew that one thing they know, that enabled them to succeed, then I’d be able to reach their level.”
What leads on from here is thousands, or tens of thousands, of dollars spent on attending courses, paying for coaching and purchasing products or software all in the hope that you’ll discover the key to success.
Unfortunately, though, this search can be costly, lead nowhere and suck you deeper into a vortex of lack. - Give up. After much time, money and effort has been spent, you might be fed up and reach the conclusion it’s impossible to achieve the breakthrough you desire. At this point, you give up and accept that life will never be the way you want.
Do you recognise any of your actions or thought processes in the 3 steps above?
I certainly do. I’ve been guilty of repeating step 1 and 2 over and over again. However, through this process of bashing my head against a brick wall, I finally stumbled upon a much better system for creating life changing breakthroughs.
Here it is.
- Learning
- Inner psychological shift
- Persistence
Let’s explore each part now.
1. LEARNING
How does this differ from Step 2 of the “The 3 Step Failure System?”
There’s a nuance at play.
There’s nothing wrong with continually educating yourself and acquiring new knowledge, tactics and skills. This is to be encouraged. However, understanding your mindset while seeking this knowledge is very important.
Are you immersing yourself in the area in which you want to become an expert, learning more and upgrading your abilities?
Or, are you frantically jumping from one piece of information to the next, or from one expert to another, looking for a secret to success which you expect to bring immediate results?
If the answer is the former, then you’re doing the right thing. If it’s the latter, you’re approaching it all wrong.
There’s no secret to success, irrespective of the area you’re trying to create your breakthrough in. Instead, you must constantly acquire knowledge, improve yourself and through a process of mental osmosis, have this become a part of who you are.
I did this in my quest to improve my romantic life.
I read various books (The Game by Neil Strauss being the most helpful), went to see a dating coach and watched online videos of pick-up artists.
Of course, none of these was a magic bullet but, over the course of a few years, they helped upgrade my social skills.
You’ll be able access similar resources.
For free, you can learn from experts on YouTube and social media. You can also strike up conversations with people you meet at conferences, networking events and seminars.
If you have money to spend, you can buy books, audiobooks, pay for courses and coaches (just avoid the ones who charge too much and claim to know the secret to success in your industry) and go to paid events.
Be thirsty to learn.
2. Inner Psychological Shift
This is the most important part of the 3-step formula.
To achieve a breakthrough in your life, you must become a different person.
Does that sound uncomfortable?
If so, think of it like this.
I’m not asking you to cast aside your personality, morals or essence. Instead, I’m saying that there’ll be some part of your belief system or identity that is repelling success.
This is what must change.
Typically, it involves letting go of a negative emotion.
For me, it was desperation.
I had to find a way to transcend my negative feelings despite the fact that, in my mid-20s, my love life was a complete failure.
This was hard to do. If I’d carried on in the fashion I had been, a future where I didn’t have a long-term partner and children was probable.
Somehow, though, I managed to let go.
I told myself that the desperation wasn’t helping me. Furthermore, I was sick of being down and lonely all the time. Even if I never met anyone for the rest of my life, I no longer wanted to live with this feeling.
So, after taking a run on a hot summer’s day in 2009, I decided to let go of my desperation.
That night, I picked up a girl in a nightclub. Two months after that, I had a girlfriend. A year later, I met the love of my life.
I don’t know exactly how your inner psychological shift will occur.
The first step, though, is identifying the negative emotion that’s holding you back.
The next step is to realise that, even if you never get the thing you want, your life is going to better without this emotion.
Then, let it go. Transcend. Despite every justification for feeling the way you do, commit to never allowing this emotion to rule your life again.
Once this occurs, the world reacts differently to you because you are a different person. Ironically, you’ll get the thing you’ve now let go of.
3. Persistence
Don’t underestimate the amount of time needed to create a breakthrough.
Sure, the inner psychological shift I experienced in the example above occurred in an instant but years of learning, revaluation and failure preceded that moment.
So, keep going at whatever it is you want to achieve. No good will come from giving up.
Napoleon Hill lists persistence as the 8th step to riches in the self-help classic Think And Grow Rich.
There’s power in putting one foot in front of the other, again and again and again.
Remember, humans are incredible learning machines and persistence gives you the opportunity to learn something that could lead to a breakthrough. Persisting also gives you the time to develop greater self-awareness and make an inner psychological shift.
While practising persistence, keep track of all the small wins you achieve on your journey (either in your journal or on your phone or tablet). Review these from time to time. They’ll remind you that you are making progress and that your situation isn’t hopeless.
Conclusion
When do we say to a baby, “That’s enough, you’ve fallen over too many times, you shouldn’t try to walk anymore?”
Of course, it’s a stupid question.
So why, as adults, do we shut ourselves and others down?
Stay in the race long enough, always be learning, let go of the inner blocks and a breakthrough WILL occur.
GET YOUR FREE COURSE
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I Couldn’t Live My Dreams Until I Discovered These 7 Rules
When I first set out on a quest to live my dreams, 22 years ago, I thought success in this endeavour was about inspiration.
I’d read about Sylvester Stallone writing the first draft of his Rocky script in three days and assumed that, if I was equally inspired, I’d produce a similar result.
Unfortunately, nothing could have been further from the truth.
From Failure To Success
My dream was to become a bestselling self-help author. However, it took me 5 years to start writing my book.
Once I began, it took me a further four and a half years to complete and publish my manuscript.
After it was released, I assumed my book would be a bestseller and I’d live off the royalties for the rest of my life.
Frustrated, I witnessed a trickle of sales, very few reviews and zero impact from my book.
I couldn’t understand it. I knew I’d written a good book; I visualised it selling a million copies a million times and I used the law of attraction to attract sales.
Still, very little changed.
It was at this point, about 2 years after I’d launched the book, I realised that the way I approached living my dreams had to change.
I had to forget working off inspiration and impose a strict schedule to ensure I got the most out of myself.
Fast forward 10 years and I’ve received a book deal for my second book, released two additional books and become an Amazon bestseller many times over.
Below are the 7 rules I discovered which enabled this to happen. My hope is that you can take them, adapt them to your situation, and achieve a similar level of success. They work!
1. Work A Minimum Of 20 Hours A Week On Your Dream
Ten years ago, when I had my major rethink, I didn’t have an unlimited amount of time to dedicate to my dream. I was working at least 30 hours a week as a tennis coach and hypnotherapist.
Despite thinking I was prioritising my dream of becoming a bestselling self-help author, my weekly time allocation told a very different story.
So, I stopped working around my day jobs, writing and promoting my books when I felt inspired, and created a strict schedule to follow.
On average, I had to work 20 hours a week on my dreams. I broke this down into 2-hour 45-minute time slots each day.
Of course, I still had a social life and occasionally went on holiday, so if I missed a time slot then I had to catch up at a later date.
Will this work for you?
Perhaps you can’t dedicate 20 hours a week to your dream.
Whatever the case, decide upon the minimum amount of time you can work per week and keep track of the work you do.
Having a schedule is the key.
If it’s only 10 hours a week then so be it. So long as you stick to your schedule and record the hours completed (see how I tick off my time blocks in the picture below) then you’ll progress.
2. Only Buy The Things You Need
The observant among you will realise I took a hit on my income about 10 years ago. Cutting back from working 30 hours a week on my day jobs to between 20 and 25, reduced my resources. However, I was able to mitigate this by following the rule above.
Before any purchase you make, ask yourself the following question, “Do I really NEED what I’m about to buy?”
Do I need to buy this takeaway or can I just cook a meal at home from food I bought at the supermarket?
Do I need the latest iPhone or can I hold onto my current one for another 3 years?
Do I need to buy that item of clothing or do I have enough clothes in my wardrobe for everything I do?
Take an expenses inventory and you’ll be amazed at how much money you can save by applying rule 2.
Making these savings eases the initial hardship of reallocating your time away from day job to working on your dream.
3. Save 10% Of Your Income (Before Tax) Every Year
What Joe, you’re asking me to make even more cut backs on an already tight budget?
I’m sorry, but yes. However, this rule has a strategic purpose that’ll pay dividends down the line.
That 10% of your income may only amount to $4000 each year. However, you take that money and make smart investments that could pay off in as little as 5 years’ time.
Don’t believe it will work?
I applied this rule when I invested £5000 in Tesla stock in 2016.
By 2021, that initial investment was worth £150,000. At this point, I took a sizeable portion of it out, giving me a cushion to cut back even further on my day jobs and put more time into my writing.
Of course, this is an exceptional investment.
However, the principle of saving and investing, year on year, will help you ease the financial burden of pursuing your dreams.
4. Go To Bed Every Evening At 11pm
You may be wondering how you’re going to find the time to work your day job, spend 20 hours a week working on your dream and still enjoy time with friends and family.
It’s not easy.
You have to take a time inventory and discover how you’re spending every second of your day.
If, like me, you’re a freelancer and in charge of your own schedule, one of things you might be doing is staying up late working or relaxing.
This has to stop as it’s not a productive use of your time.
Of course, 11pm might be too late as you have to be up earlier in the morning.
If that’s the case, choose an earlier bed time.
The time you choose isn’t the point. Having a clearly defined endpoint to the day, when you shut everything down and get to bed can, in my experience, buy you an extra 30 minutes productive time per day.
5. Keep Your Mobile Phone Screen Time Below 3 Hours A Day
Go into your phones’ settings and discover what your average screen time per day is clocking in at (The US national average is 4 hours and 37 minutes).
How much of that is productive use?
Then, working on the basis you’ll only allow 25% of your screen time to be non-productive, set a cap (so, whatever business activities you conduct on your phone and then a little extra for browsing social media, YouTube, podcasts etc).
Maybe it’ll only be 2 hours per day.
The number isn’t the point. Instead, it’s being conscious of your phone use, cutting back on the unproductive time and reallocating that to the 20 hours a week you’re going to work on your dream.
6. Use Gary Keller’s “ONE Thing” Goal Setting Program
Before I read The ONE Thing, I used to do whatever work I felt inspired to do.
This typically led me to have a book I was writing, a series of YouTube videos I was creating, guest blog posts I was editing and speaking appearances I was making.
It was fun but I was taking forever to get tasks complete (especially when it came to releasing new books).
What Gary Keller’s book taught me, though, was to work towards a plan.
- First decide on 1 goal for the year.
- Then, decide on 1 goal for the month that will help you accomplish the goal for the year.
- Then, decide on 1 goal for the week that will help you accomplish the goal for the month.
- Finally, decide on 1 goal for your day that will help you accomplish your goal for the week.
The outcome?
You get high priority tasks done and have more impact because you don’t get side-tracked by smaller projects.
7. Meditate/Visualise Every Day
Before I explain this rule, it’s important to note that setting a cap on your mobile phone screen time wasn’t just about freeing up time to work on your dream.
It had a deeper significance.
You don’t want your mind polluted by the noise of social media and the propaganda of the mainstream media.
Instead, when you’re not actively working on your dream, you need to be thinking about it.
That’s why, alongside implementing Rule 5, you need to take 5 to 10 minutes out of your schedule, every day, and focus on succeeding at living your dreams.
What does this do?
First, it can activate the law of attraction (if your vibration is high enough).
Second, you’re keeping your mind focused on your dream and this is important for its own reasons (see below).
Conclusion
Although I still believe inspiration plays an important role in achieving my dreams, I KNOW it won’t show up every day (and I HAVE to).
Furthermore, there’s another factor more important to success – momentum.
Can you build enough of it?
Can you create an environment where your mind never wanders too far from your goal?
Both the work you put into your dream and the thoughts you think about it are what creates momentum.
Momentum moves mountains and, unlike inspiration, it’s relatively easy to manufacture.
Just follow the 7 rules above (although adapt them to your own circumstances) and it will be impossible for you not to progress.
Inspiration may get you started but momentum will help you win.
GET YOUR FREE COURSE
If you want to discover a passion you can make a living from and overcome the fears that are holding you back, check out my free course 30 Days to Escape The System. Click here to get the course right now! (You’ll find the tips on developing belief and self-confidence fascinating!)
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21 Movies To Make You Rich, Achieve Your Dreams And Release Your Inner Maverick
Movies have saved my life!
Or, perhaps it would be accurate to say that movies have brought me back to life.
When I was at my lowest, feeling disillusioned with the world I was living in and seeing no prospects for living the exciting, meaningful life I wanted to live, I went to the cinema or popped some of the movies below in the DVD player, sat back and felt all my motivation and inspiration return.
For me, being inspired by a movie is about connection.
I feed off the energy of seeing inspiring, defiant, strong, courageous and dignified people stand up for what they believe is right, pursue their dreams and be unapologetically true to themselves.
With that in mind, I’ve compiled a list of 21 movies which will help you do the same.
For ease of use, I’ve split the 21 movies into 7 categories. I’ll write a little bit about each category and why it’s important, and then a sentence on the movie itself (with its IMDb rating).
If you were hoping for romantic comedy or horror, I’m sorry to disappoint you. I do enjoy movies purely for entertainment but this is a list of films that will add something to your life – whether that’s knowledge, clarity, insights or courage.
Make use of it.
MOVIES TO MAKE YOU FILTHY RICH
I don’t condone the actions taken by the characters in these films. Far from it. Some of them are downright despicable. However, I’d be a liar if I said there isn’t an allure to getting filthy rich and learning from the people who did.
These movies are exciting, reveal the importance of taking risks and help you connect with the reality of being rich beyond your wildest dreams (although you may want to follow more legal means to becoming so).
1. The Wolf Of Wall Street (2013) 8.2
The story of Jordan Belfort, who reveals that the ability to sell can make you a multimillionaire, even if what you’re selling has no value.
2. The Big Short (2015) 7.8
Witness how fortunes can be made by seeing the hidden opportunity in an industry clouded by status quo thinking.
3. Scarface (1983) 8.3
Discover the power of risk taking as Tony Montana uses his balls (courage) and word (integrity) to transform himself from Cuban asylum seeker to Miami kingpin.
FEEL GOOD “MAKE YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE” MOVIES
These movies are based on true stories of people who made it despite the odds. All of their dreams were “impossible” but they used grit, audacity and a vision that only they could see, to propel them to success.
Watching these films will fill you with the belief that dreams do come true. Furthermore, they’ll reveal both the practical steps needed to be successful and the real-life obstacles you’ll face on your journey.
4. The Walk (2015) 7.3
The story of Phillipe Petit – the man who tightrope walked between the Twin Towers in 1974 – reveals how only thinking of success (and not allowing your mind to contemplate failure or, in Petit’s case, death), develops mastery over fear.
5. Joy (2015) 6.6
The story of Joy Mangano, the inventor of the Miracle Mop, reveals how self-reliance, and reconnecting with what inspired you as a child, can be a recipe for runaway success.
6. The Pursuit Of Happyness (2006) 8.0
The story of Chris Gardener, an intelligent man who, after many years of failing to realise his potential, strikes gold when he gives up everything (but his son) in an attempt to win a position at a prestigious trading company.
Edgy “Make Your Dreams Come True” Movies
The darker side of making your dreams come true. What happens when personal ambition trumps all else in an obsessional quest for wealth, recognition and success?
The answer isn’t always pretty. However, these movies portray a raw and real account of the difficult decisions that sometimes have to be made.
As with the “movies to make you filthy rich” category, I don’t condone all the actions these characters take. However, I understand what was driving them and joining them on their path to success is still an exciting ride.
7. The Founder (2016) 7.2
The story of Ray Kroc – the man who took McDonald’s from the McDonald brothers and set it on the road to becoming the global corporation that it is today – reveals that success can come in your latter years if you remain hungry and are ruthless enough to seize your opportunity when it arises.
8. Whiplash (2014) 8.5
A music student pushes himself to unhealthy lengths to master his craft and win the approval of his belligerent teacher, only succeeding at realising his dreams once he lets go of them.
9. The Social Network (2010) 7.8
The Facebook origins story, where Mark Zuckerberg sacrifices everything, including his college degree at Harvard and close friendships, to succeed with his fledgling tech company.
Fight The System Movies
Why include this category?
The answer is simple, education. These movies will open your eyes to the world we live in (and it’s not a pretty place). All of them are based on real events and all of them reveal the corruption of the system.
Fortunately, though, brave individuals exist who are prepared to put everything on the line to challenge this corruption and do what’s right.
These films will both remove and restore your faith in humanity. You’ll get an insight into the lengths the system will go to protect its power but also how brave individuals, or a group of them, can make a difference and create change.
10. Dark Waters (2019) 7.6
A corporate defence attorney goes rogue, rocking the boat at both his prestigious law firm, and in the corporate world, by challenging the might of chemical giant, DuPont, after it knowingly poisons residents at a nearby factory in the name of profit.
11. JFK (1991) 8.0
A district attorney refuses to accept the official verdict on the Kennedy assassination and risks his career, and life, to ensure justice isn’t forgotten by exposing the corruption that lies at the heart of the American political system.
12. Official Secrets (2019) 7.3
A British intelligence specialist is faced with the unappealing prospect of committing treason to do what’s morally right by exposing the lies that led to the US and UK invasion of Iraq in 2003.
Inspiring Mavericks Who Don’t Give A Fuck Movies
These individuals will inspire you and entertain you in equal measures. Fearless in their approach to life, they don’t give a damn how many people tell them a thing can’t be done, or that they’re putting themselves at risk by challenging the status quo.
Watching these mavericks defiantly face insurmountable challenges will fill you with the courage needed to stand up for yourself and your dreams.
13. Dallas Buyers Club (2013) 7.9
Set in the mid-80s, Ron Woodruff, a hustler and electrician from Texas, refuses to be killed by the AIDS virus and, instead, starts helping other victims who have been failed by the pharmaceutical companies seeking to profit from their disease.
14. Erin Brockovich (2000) 7.4
A feisty single mother refuses to be intimidated by a California power company who were knowingly polluting a city’s water supply, holding them to account for their actions despite zero legal training.
15. Moneyball (2011) 7.6
Billy Beane, coach of the Oakland A’s, takes a radical new approach to Baseball, challenging traditional notions of how to manage a team and succeeding despite a lack of resources.
Movies That Will Blow Your Mind And Alter Your Perspective On Life
1999 was an incredible year for film. The pending turn of the millennium must have caused script writers, directors and producers to think deeply about life and the direction humanity was heading.
The following three movies will leave you feeling different, or changed, after watching them. Whether it’s through their allegorical power or the probing questions they ask about the way most people live their lives, they might cause you to rethink your understanding of life and fire you up to follow a more adventurous path.
16. The Matrix (1999) 8.7
Following the story of Neo, we learn how humanity has been duped into accepting a false reality, living as obedient slaves with only a tiny minority daring to ask the questions that could set them free.
17. Fight Club (1999) 8.8
Don’t be fooled by the violence, this movie is about a vibrant and exciting life philosophy that will free you from the dull monotony of life in the system.
18. American Beauty (1999) 8.3
This movie exposes the façade of modern life, as a man experiencing a mid-life crisis cuts through the bullshit of married, and work, life in an attempt to experience something real.
Triumph Of The Human Spirit Movies
Our final category. These are the movies to pick you up when you feel all hope has gone.
Watch people who have experienced terrible injustices, and faced impossible situations, overcome all the odds and right the wrongs that were done to them.
Their stories will fill you with belief that, no matter how far down you fall, you can always get back up and succeed.
19. The Hurricane (1999) 7.6
The story of boxer, Ruben Carter, who was falsely imprisoned for murder in the 60s and then spent 20 years trying to clear his name while the corrupt local police department, and judicial system, withheld evidence that could have set him free.
20. The Shawshank Redemption (1994) 9.3
Watch main character, Andy Dufresne, remain productive and positive despite serving a life sentence for a crime he didn’t commit and, ultimately, outsmarting everyone to win his freedom.
21. Men Of Honor (2000) 7.2
The true story of Carl Brashear, who faces every obstacle – racism, disability, lack of education – in his attempt to break down barriers and become the first black Master Diver in the US Navy.
Over To You
Please add to the list in the comment section below. Hopefully this can be a useful resource to all people who draw strength and inspiration from movies.
Related Content
Top 10 Films To Change Your Life
The 9 Steps To Achieving Your Dreams
GET YOUR FREE COURSE
If you want to discover a passion you can make a living from and overcome the fears that are holding you back, check out my free course 30 Days to Escape The System. Click here to get the course right now! (You’ll find the tips on developing belief and self-confidence fascinating!)
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Galileo’s Little Known Secret To Attain Genius Level Thinking
Two weeks ago, I went on vacation to Italy.
The first part of the holiday was a trip to Florence and, while there, I visited the church of Santa Croce (see picture below).
This Church houses the tombs of some of Italy’s greatest artists and thinkers – Galileo, Michelangelo, Machiavelli, Dante (the picture at the top of this blog post is of Galileo’s tomb).
Walking around this awe inspiring basilica got me thinking. The achievements of the four men listed above were astounding. In one way or another, they impacted the course of human history.
But what enabled them to have such a massive impact?
Talent?
I’m sure they all possessed it in spades, alongside an impressive work ethic. However, was there something extra that allowed them to scale heights most people can’t even comprehend?
In the case of Galileo, I believe there was.
It was Galileo’s ability to ask questions and challenge conventional wisdom that set him apart.
This opened his mind to possibilities most people couldn’t even conceive. From that space, he made discoveries that changed humanities understanding of the world.
However, this wasn’t easy and adopting this mindset lined his path with a great deal of adversity.
I write about this in my first book, Escape The System.
Below, I include an extract in celebration of this brilliant scientist who brought clarity where before there was dogma and stagnation.
I hope it inspires you to question everything and find your own answers.
Galileo was an Italian physicist, mathematician, astronomer and philosopher born in 1564. His achievements in the field of science were vast. Sometimes known as “The Father of Modern Science” he made the first systematic studies of uniformly accelerated motion (now taught in most schools), improved telescopes, analysed sun spots and most famously, discovered evidence to support the theory that the Earth travelled around the Sun.
In 1632, Galileo’s book, Dialogue Concerning the Two Chief World Systems, was published. In this book, he outlined evidence challenging the established truth the Earth was fixed and the centre of the Universe (a belief promoted by the Church, based on scriptures and almost entirely accepted by European society).
Such a challenge sent tidal waves through The System. The validity of its main institution – The Church – was being questioned and perhaps undermined. If Galileo’s views were to spread then its authority could come into question. Faced with such a challenge, The System (in the form of important members of the church) attacked, ordering him to appear in front of the Inquisition and finding him guilty of vehemently suspect heresy.
As a result of this verdict, he was forced to recant his views, placed under house arrest and received a ban on the publication of his book. With such a crushing verdict, it appeared that The System had won and another lone voice had been silenced. However, the word was out and although The System’s truth was not immediately discredited, a few minds had been sparked by the idea there might be another.
Sowing such seeds in the consciousness of humanity is how The System’s authority is undermined. It took time, but over the subsequent decades more and more people began to reject The System’s truth that the Earth was the centre of the universe. Eventually this groundswell of consciousness reached such a level that in 1741, Pope Benedict XIV authorised the publication of Galileo’s once heretic book. Then in 1835, all traces of opposition to heliocentrism (the term used to categorise those who believe the Sun to be the centre of the universe) disappeared from the church as further books were dropped from their banned index.
Such an outcome cements Galileo’s place as one of history’s greats. Although the view he promoted was not fully accepted until many years after his death, he played a significant role in advancing the collective knowledge of humanity. In doing so, he undermined the Church’s ability to define reality – if they were wrong about the earth being the centre of the universe then they could also be wrong about other dictates that governed the way society operated?
This trend has continued and the Church is now in a far weaker position than it was in the time of Galileo. Over the centuries, many of its core beliefs have been challenged and, as a result, The System has had one of its tentacles removed.
The System still has power, though, and as long as people continue to defend the dominant worldview simply because they’ve been conditioned to believe it’s true, then it will continue to exist. However, for every individual that refuses to accept The System’s reality and instead, discovers their own answers, its strength is diminished.
Perhaps humanities ultimate destination is a world where there are no boundaries to what can or can’t be done. In this place there’s no dogma about how the world works and some of the mystery, excitement and adventure of life can be restored.
Creating such a place would see the emergence of a race of people able to maximise their potential. If they could point to their forefathers, the ones that led the way, they would identify Galileo. He demonstrated the discoveries that can be made when you refuse to accept The System’s truth. However, if he hadn’t asked questions and possessed the kind of mind accepting of the idea that the Earth was the centre of the Universe, then none of this would be possible.
He simply wouldn’t have looked for answers in places where he’d been told they didn’t exist.
Such a possibility carries important implications for you. It raises the issue of how much you’ll be able to achieve when unplugged from The System.
Research claims we only use one tenth of our minds potential. Could this be the path to accessing those illusive nine tenths?
It’s not unfeasible. After all, a great chunk of us dies when conditioned to believe life can only be a certain way. Why do we need our full potential when it appears the opportunities for our lives are so limited?
We don’t. We only need one tenth of our brains to operate in The System. However, when you believe in a world where no idea is off limits, you suddenly need those extra nine tenths. Your horizons have expanded, and to flourish in this new reality, so must you.
To get your copy of Escape The System, click the link here.
GET YOUR FREE COURSE
If you want to discover a passion you can make a living from and overcome the fears that are holding you back, check out my free course 30 Days to Escape The System. Click here to get the course right now! (You’ll find the tips on developing belief and self-confidence fascinating!)
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